Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

It absolutely makes NO freaking sense to me... **MY RANT**



Recommended Posts

It's amazing to me the lengths people will go to to sabotage themselves after surgery. I normally just shake my head and continue on. We have to want to make these changes for ourselves, we know when we do wrong. Me personally, I don't want to know if I'll dump if I take a bite of chocolate. 1) I never want to throw up or dump 2) I don't want to eat something bad and NOT get sick, then I'll know I can eat that item. Nope, I'll just convince myself I'll get seriously ill and it's not worth it. I'm surprised on my birthday how much I enjoyed watching everyone else enjoy the cupcakes I brought for treats, and was never tempted to even have a taste.

Sugar, Pasta, covering everything in cheese, alcohol.... my health is worth SO much more than the taste of any of those things.

Sent from my SM-G925V using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You put in the time.

You put in the money.

You go to all the appointments and you jump through all the hoops.

You do the pre-op diet.

You have the surgery.

You cared enough about yourself to make the commitment to WLS and you physically and permanently alter your body...

And then you get mad because someone tells you not to eat the d@mn taco? Not to drink alcohol or soda 2.783 days after surgery? To put down the freaking pizza'? To stop eating bread/rice/pasta/bananas/hoagies/20oz steaks TEMPORARILY while your body heals and you get to your goal weight? To actually stick to YOUR doctor's plan?

Even better, you get mad when they only do so AFTER you ASKED????

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?

Yes. I'd guess most of us have head hunger and cravings. I'd guess most of us had a nibble or sip of something off plan. I've no doubt that most of us were not 100% compliant 100% of the time. But I'd also guess that those of us who have done this, gotten to goal weight and stayed there have been compliant the majority of the time. I'd also guess that many of us who have been successful would appreciate a swift kick in the rear if/when we ask a question I bet we already know the answer to.

It's not rocket science and this isn't Romper Room. Make good choices, stick to your doctor's orders or don't, but don't get mad if you fail to get the results you want when you refuse to do what you are supposed to do. And don't get mad when someone tells you that what you are putting in your mouth isn't the best idea in the world even though you want it right now.

Value yourself more than that. Seriously.

Thank you for being real

Sent from my SM-G935V using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am almost two weeks post op sleeve and I can say I am craving food so bad. After being on full liquids for almost four weeks has taken a toll on me. I never thought I would be so excited to have a scrambled egg or 1/2 cup of cottage cheese. And it is JUST head hunger as you call it. I did NOT go through this just to mess it all up. Too much money, pain, and work to give in. So far I have stuck to it 100% and I know I will have cheats here and there but hope and pray it will be a long way down the road.

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 4.5 weeks post op and I cook for my family and watch them eat and it doesn't really bother me. The only thing I wish I could have is a big bowl of salty, buttery popcorn.

I'm in Clear Liquids until tomorrow (again), thanks to an ulcer that crept up on me this past week. I'm looking forward to a Protein shake tomorrow!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I appreciate your ranting. I'm just starting all the pre-surgery restrictions and have done a complete makeover in my kitchen and am exercising too. I'm starting to treat myself like I matter. The last thing I want is to be influenced by someone's counterproductive advice!

Sent from my Z987 using BariatricPal mobile app

Edited by Mrs Johnson

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You put in the time.

You put in the money.

You go to all the appointments and you jump through all the hoops.

You do the pre-op diet.

You have the surgery.

You cared enough about yourself to make the commitment to WLS and you physically and permanently alter your body...

And then you get mad because someone tells you not to eat the d@mn taco? Not to drink alcohol or soda 2.783 days after surgery? To put down the freaking pizza'? To stop eating bread/rice/pasta/bananas/hoagies/20oz steaks TEMPORARILY while your body heals and you get to your goal weight? To actually stick to YOUR doctor's plan?

Even better, you get mad when they only do so AFTER you ASKED????

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?

Yes. I'd guess most of us have head hunger and cravings. I'd guess most of us had a nibble or sip of something off plan. I've no doubt that most of us were not 100% compliant 100% of the time. But I'd also guess that those of us who have done this, gotten to goal weight and stayed there have been compliant the majority of the time. I'd also guess that many of us who have been successful would appreciate a swift kick in the rear if/when we ask a question I bet we already know the answer to.

It's not rocket science and this isn't Romper Room. Make good choices, stick to your doctor's orders or don't, but don't get mad if you fail to get the results you want when you refuse to do what you are supposed to do. And don't get mad when someone tells you that what you are putting in your mouth isn't the best idea in the world even though you want it right now.

Value yourself more than that. Seriously.

The person who asked about the Taco was never rude nor mad at you. She asked because she wanted to know. People here who ask for help feel vulnerable as it is, and when someone comes off judgmental, it doesn't help.

Edited by dvons

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So right- I'm sure there may ultimately things my "head" will miss. Walk a few seconds in my run over moccasins. I am 70, tired of being tired, feel my body slooowing down, could I be slowly die-ing? I have lymphadema in my legs up to almost knee level, getting harder to walk a distance even when I WANT to, I'm invisible to fun conversations, either I disgust them or they think I'm stupid. Tired of fat jokes about me.. Inside there' s a fun young at heart Rosey, but on the outside everybody sees s Rosey Bush out of control and needing pruning. Bariatrics will prune me back to where I should be. I'm not a young seedling but I believe I still have blooming potentials. Let's all grow toward health my sisters and brothers. your Rosey Posey.

Sent from my S55 using BariatricPal mobile app

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So right- I'm sure there may ultimately things my "head" will miss. Walk a few seconds in my run over moccasins. I am 70, tired of being tired, feel my body slooowing down, could I be slowly die-ing? I have lymphadema in my legs up to almost knee level, getting harder to walk a distance even when I WANT to, I'm invisible to fun conversations, either I disgust them or they think I'm stupid. Tired of fat jokes about me.. Inside there' s a fun young at heart Rosey, but on the outside everybody sees s Rosey Bush out of control and needing pruning. Bariatrics will prune me back to where I should be. I'm not a young seedling but I believe I still have blooming potentials. Let's all grow toward health my sisters and brothers. your Rosey Posey.

Sent from my S55 using BariatricPal mobile app

Hugs, Rosey. I see you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that when there is an extremely negative reaction toward someone who is new to the process when they ask a question about if they "can" eat something as opposed to if they "should", this really helps no one. When the question is "can" I have a taco when the person is first on solids, the correct answer is that yes, you can with certain modifications (I suggested skipping the hard taco shell, enjoying low fat turkey, and going easy on the fatty stuff). Should you? Probably not, but medically, yes, you can. If the question is "can" I have a drink or two a weeks after surgery or the week before, medically the answer is that, yes, they can. I tend to reply a lot to the "can I eat this" threads because I think that it is important for people to understand the difference between "can" and "should" because when we tell people they CANNOT do something, when in reality, medically they absolutely can, we just perpetuate misinformation. You can eat PB&J in the soft phase- this will not hurt your new stomach. It's not going to help you lose weight, and it would have made me feel crummy, but nothing physically is going to break in your stomach if you eat that. On the other hand, "can I eat almonds and sharp, hard crackers" 3 days after surgery is a "h*ll NO" that is going to mess up your stomach.

As examples outside of surgery...can you eat that entire box of brownies? Yes. You can. You are not going to immediately die from it. Should you? No, of course not, but the long-term health consequences are your concern and you have the right to do what you want to do. If you eat a box of brownies once a year and you are a healthy weight, then good for you! It's not my business! This to me is comparable to...can I eat cake on the soft foods stage? Sure you can! You're not going to lose weight, but that piece of cake is not going to be the single thing that kills you because it somehow caused your stomach to rip open and if you can learn to eat junk food in very moderate amounts at an early stage and this is what works for you, then who am I to judge the way in which you get healthy?

Comparably, can you smoke cigarettes while you are on oxygen? Yes, physically you can, but you are likely going to burn your face off, thus causing an immediately bad result. This to me is like, "I am 2-days post-op, can I eat a jar of peanuts?". Sure you can, but you have a really good chance of jacking up you stomach, so medically no, do not eat that.

When people are asking if they can eat something, my impression is that the vast majority of the time they are seeking clarification as to whether they are physically going to hurt their stomach or themselves in the immediate short term. Whether they happen to die of a heart attack in 10 years because they kept eating junk is not the question, but rather the question is if they are going to rip open their new stomach and die from a leak. As such, it is important to differentiate between the "should" and the "can" and flipping out on people because they ask if they can have a few bites of junk food when it is entirely safe for them to do so accomplishes nothing.

I have had junk food as part of my diet since the first point it was safe to do so. My first "soft" meal was a chicken taco salad. I ate the chicken, the Tomato, and some of the sour cream. I ate about 5 bites of it and was no longer hungry. I used to regularly eat 1/4 a panini from Panera when I was losing- it was my lunch and calorie wise it fit into the plan. I have been at goal now for over 18 months and I am almost at 2 years of being within 5 pounds of goal and there are plenty of times now and when I was losing that I did not follow the rules. Sometimes I eat sweets, sometimes I drink alcohol, sometimes I eat other gross things and because I have been allowed to have them in very small amounts since the start of having the sleeve, they are not some banned substance that I crave and feel like I am being denied. This is what works for me and what may work for someone else.

So yes, you CAN eat the vast majority of things people ask questions about, whether you SHOULD or not is the issue and frankly, I have no interest in telling an adult what they should be doing with their diet when I am hardly a 100% compliant patient and I ended up just fine. I see no value in telling an adult that they should not eat cake, judging them for their choices and their questions, and acting like I am better than them because I lost weight and they are still fat. They have a mirror, they have a scale, and they likely have a basic level of education about nutrition. The question is CAN not SHOULD and I am a little over the holier than thou comments that treat people like they are a complete moron for wondering if they are going to hurt their stomach by eating something they SHOULD not be eating when every single one of us has at some point eaten something we SHOULD not be eating, but which, medically, we absolutely CAN, in moderation, enjoy.

I am now going to go drink my sugar free Red Bull and eat my carb-laden, protein-lacking, sugary Cereal for Breakfast. Yum.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm still pretty new at all of this and still going through the process of doing what I need to do to make this happen. I come here to learn what other people are doing (or not doing) to be successful at this. The stories of weight-loss are great because it gives us pre-sleevers hope...and gives us the reality of stalls and what to do to get through it.

Personally I have been researching this for a couple of years and reading everything I can about WLS and am.not taking it lightly. It's NOT a magical cure...it's a tool. This is MAJOR SURGERY and sugar coating things got us all to the weight we are/were to need this surgery in the first place.

**For any of you who read my future posts- I want and welcome all advise and recommendations....and if I am doing something I shouldn't call me out on it**

Sent from my SM-G930V using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm still pretty new at all of this and still going through the process of doing what I need to do to make this happen. I come here to learn what other people are doing (or not doing) to be successful at this. The stories of weight-loss are great because it gives us pre-sleevers hope...and gives us the reality of stalls and what to do to get through it.

Personally I have been researching this for a couple of years and reading everything I can about WLS and am.not taking it lightly. It's NOT a magical cure...it's a tool. This is MAJOR SURGERY and sugar coating things got us all to the weight we are/were to need this surgery in the first place.

**For any of you who read my future posts- I want and welcome all advise and recommendations....and if I am doing something I shouldn't call me out on it**

Sent from my SM-G930V using the BariatricPal App

Great attitude.

I am very grateful for the advice given by Lipsticklady and the many other vets who were frank and honest. It helped me form my own gameplan and see things through.

I remember the pre-op days very well. It was a time filled with anxiety and aggravation. I was ready for change and tired of being encumbered with the extra pounds. I'm normally a hardheaded type who has to learn things on his own. I approached the sleeve surgery a bit differently though. I was nursing a back injury and needed to get the weight off as quick as possible. I didn't want to "learn on my own" anymore.......I wanted the collective wisdoms of those that had succeeded. I needed to hear it all....the good and the bad. It helped me a great deal.

This process can be harsh when the progress slows....and worse when we have periods of backsliding. A swift kick in the rear is exactly what I needed to jump start me.

It is encouraging to know that as long as we keep our heads in the game....our sleeves will be there for us....ready to help us burn it off.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×