Considering sleeve

[k8lynpirkle16 5]

I have been strongly considering gastric sleeve surgery for the last 6 months or so. My husband is completely against it and says no. I've tried to explain to him the pros but he won't budge. Any advise on getting him to be okay with it? Our insurance is great and would most likely cover, that's not an issue.

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[kittykatlover 50]

Ask him to do you a favor and go to an informational session. Maybe hearing about from a doctor and others that have gone through the procedure will help.

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[cindym44 75]

My plan was to not tell my husband until I had jumped through all the hoops and was approved. I had already contacted my insurance company and found out all their requirements and printed them out. I then made the consult appointment, went to that, and from there I made the nutrional appointments, the psych evaluation appointment and started my nutrion monthly classes. I still hadn't told my husband.

Finally, he asked, why I was logging my food and what did I mean that I had signed up for nutrition classes? This is when I told him. He realized I was committed to this, that I hadn't asked for his approval or permission, and this is something that I really wanted. He supported me, but did remind me, rather nicely, after the surgery, when I was in pain, that this is something that I wanted. I shook my head and said I still do.

I am on 4 days post op and feel like a million bucks. The first 2 days were the worst for sure. I had the sleeve operation on the 14th and was discharged on the 15th. By the 18th, (today), I was driving and shopping.

Let your husband how bad you want this....he will support you.

[k8lynpirkle16 5]

My plan was to not tell my husband until I had jumped through all the hoops and was approved. I had already contacted my insurance company and found out all their requirements and printed them out. I then made the consult appointment, went to that, and from there I made the nutrional appointments, the psych evaluation appointment and started my nutrion monthly classes. I still hadn't told my husband.

Finally, he asked, why I was logging my food and what did I mean that I had signed up for nutrition classes? This is when I told him. He realized I was committed to this, that I hadn't asked for his approval or permission, and this is something that I really wanted. He supported me, but did remind me, rather nicely, after the surgery, when I was in pain, that this is something that I wanted. I shook my head and said I still do.

I am on 4 days post op and feel like a million bucks. The first 2 days were the worst for sure. I had the sleeve operation on the 14th and was discharged on the 15th. By the 18th, (today), I was driving and shopping.

Let your husband how bad you want this....he will support you.

Thank you. Best of luck to you on your journey! After my first child I gained 80lbs and was able to lost 30 of it by taking phenteramine. He wants me to take that again, but I don't want that quick fix. I want to change my life. Now after having our 2nd child, I've gained it all back plus some. It is more than a fast fix for me but he doesn't see that. I will call around around see what needs to be done before hand. Thank you again!

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[Pescador 1,374]

Stand firm. Have him go with you. My husband and I had the sleeve at 67 and would do it again tomorrow! He has lost 100 lbs.!

[hotmamma1979 42]

I was worried about telling my husband too, so I waited and kinda gave myself pep talks about why it was important. I knew his reservations against it so I had information for him, and I also basically decided that even if he didn't want me to do this I was gonna do it. I have to take care of myself. He used to think it was a quick fix or cheating. So I schooled him a lot! He is still warming up to the idea but I am so positive and always giving him information that he is getting better everyday!

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[KristenLe 5,980]

My plan was to not tell my husband until I had jumped through all the hoops and was approved. I had already contacted my insurance company and found out all their requirements and printed them out. I then made the consult appointment, went to that, and from there I made the nutrional appointments, the psych evaluation appointment and started my nutrion monthly classes. I still hadn't told my husband.

Finally, he asked, why I was logging my food and what did I mean that I had signed up for nutrition classes? This is when I told him. He realized I was committed to this, that I hadn't asked for his approval or permission, and this is something that I really wanted. He supported me, but did remind me, rather nicely, after the surgery, when I was in pain, that this is something that I wanted. I shook my head and said I still do.

I am on 4 days post op and feel like a million bucks. The first 2 days were the worst for sure. I had the sleeve operation on the 14th and was discharged on the 15th. By the 18th, (today), I was driving and shopping.

Let your husband how bad you want this....he will support you.

Thank you. Best of luck to you on your journey! After my first child I gained 80lbs and was able to lost 30 of it by taking phenteramine. He wants me to take that again, but I don't want that quick fix. I want to change my life. Now after having our 2nd child, I've gained it all back plus some. It is more than a fast fix for me but he doesn't see that. I will call around around see what needs to be done before hand. Thank you again!

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Explain to him that phenterrmine can be dangerous. Only 5% of people who lose weight on their own are able to maintain that loss! You want to be healthy and active for your children! It's your body - your health - your decision! Hopefully he can learn more about it and support you!

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[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@k8lynpirkle16

I'm not married but, do you really need permission from your husband for your own body? Is that how marriage works?

Unless he is going to carry your excess weight for you every singlr moment of every day, it isn't his decision. It is your body.

Hit him with the stats. If you are morbidly obese, your chances of losing weight and keeping it off on your own is less than 5%.

[judy vsg 126]

My husband did not like the idea either. He joined me at an informational seminar and it made him not like it even more lol! I approached my journey (to myself and to him) that i will go through all the hoops, but will not make a final decision yet. I was undecided for more than half the process, and slowly moved toward acceptance that this is what i want to do. My husband watched and joined my process, and he, too, came around and supported me. I am now 2 months post sleeve, and am so so happy i went through with it.

make it a great day

[starlight_dreams 15]

I told my husband from the start. After being told by my fam doc that if I didn't do something I might not be around to see my 2 little boys graduate high school, I knew it was time. I'm just getting started. Went to seminar and 1st group meeting. Seeing my doc on the 4th. Right now I'm perplexed as what to have sleeve or gastric. Hubby has been great. He sees the trouble I have with arthritis with this weight and dealing with the ups and downs of diabetes. But what I don't get is why your husband is against something that will help you?

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[k8lynpirkle16 5]

Thank you everyone for the input! We just had a long discussion about it. He doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthy small portions and exercise on my own to lose weight. If it were that easy I would just do it!! Lol he has agreed to go to a consult with me to explore it and other options. What he doesn't understand is that it's more than just being overweight for me. It's emotional. Mental. Of course physical. Our marriage isn't the strongest anymore because I have so many other things on my mind constantly, I've put us on the back burner. I know I don't need his permission but I need his support. This isn't something I want to share with family and friends, I need him there with me to get me through. I am hoping to get this process started soon and get him on board with me.

The phen is a definite no for me. It's nothing but a quick fix. And it's so bad for you. I had a horrible addiction problem in my teen years and I have replaced pills with food. I'm not looking to reverse the cycle again, especially with my kids and career.

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[#BirdDog 604]

Happy to hear you had a good discussion with him. He has a valid question and one that I'm sure you already had enough information to answer for him. It is going to take some educating to get him up to speed on how it effects you and in turn your relationship. Talking through things like this will make your marriage stronger, communication is key.

I am very lucky to have a supportive wife. She went to most of my appointments with me and I made sure all of her concerns were dealt with and questions answered. In fact during my consult with the surgeon just prior to surgery it was her questions that took the majority of the appointment.

[Dub 10,070]

Thank you everyone for the input! We just had a long discussion about it. He doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthy small portions and exercise on my own to lose weight. If it were that easy I would just do it!! Lol he has agreed to go to a consult with me to explore it and other options. What he doesn't understand is that it's more than just being overweight for me. It's emotional. Mental. Of course physical. Our marriage isn't the strongest anymore because I have so many other things on my mind constantly, I've put us on the back burner. I know I don't need his permission but I need his support. This isn't something I want to share with family and friends, I need him there with me to get me through. I am hoping to get this process started soon and get him on board with me.

The phen is a definite no for me. It's nothing but a quick fix. And it's so bad for you. I had a horrible addiction problem in my teen years and I have replaced pills with food. I'm not looking to reverse the cycle again, especially with my kids and career.

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I completely agree with you on the weight loss drugs being a bad move.

My experiences with the sleeve are that eating small & healthy portions is exactly the way things go now.

Regaining health and feeling better overall has made a positive impact on all aspects of life.

It's something that "normal" folks don't seem to always understand.....we simply want to be at a normal weight and stay there.

[mi75 1,241]

Seriously, if eating small portions and moving more were do-able long term, most of us would NOT be here/post op.

Phen can stretch your Pulmonic valve and give you pulmonary hypertension, a very REAL and serious condition that requires bilateral lung transplant to survive it. Yes, a lot of people get it from diet drugs.

Honestly, if my husband didn't support me then I would have him watch one of the episodes of My 600 lb life or Fat Doctor or something similar. I think these shows can give some idea of what the caregivers are in for long term.

I'm not trying to insult anybody, please people don't think that.

I just know that for ME, when I was 5'3" and 240 lbs I felt very similar to the people in those shows. I couldn't jump up out of a chair, I couldn't breathe right, I couldn't sleep right, I couldn't do ANYTHING with my kids. Hell, I could barely function at work all day. I'd come home and collapse in a chair and stay there until bed time. I didn't cook, clean or anything extra. And long-term, if I would have continued down that path, I would have kept gaining and needed my hubs to help me do EVERYTHING, including toileting and bathing.

Maybe seeing a show will help your husband understand that you don't want to get to that point or depend on him for basic care functions.

Ultimately, in the long run it's your decision to make about your own health and well-being. Good luck!

[BubbaVSG 8]

This video helped me get my head around the whole why not "just eat healthy small potions and exercise" thing. This Dr. has a bunch of great videos.

https://youtu.be/Vz8eOWCxKcg

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Edited September 19, 2016 by BubbaVSG