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Explaining surgery to kids?



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My surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday (yikes!!)and I have been on my liquid diet for almost a week now.

My 2 eldest boys who are ages 9 & 5, have noticed that I haven't been eating food and have been asking a lot of questions as to why.

Today at lunch I decided to give them some warning about the upcoming surgery & they asked a million questions - as kids do!

I am pretty upfront with people about my struggles and plans to get surgery (if they ask why) but I absolutely was unprepared and struggled to tell my kids the truth.

I'm not sure that they are old enough to process what weight loss surgery means, and I'm a tiny bit worried that my 5 year old might innocently start suggesting it overweight people we know (he is very helpful like that!).

I settled on telling them that I am getting my stomach fixed because it's not really helping me be healthy (which is basically true!).

They had to be at the hospital with my husband when I had my EGD done & the surgery is at the same hospital so I was able to call on that to make it a bit less scary for them.

I'm curious to know how other people explained the surgery to younger kids, if at all? And how kids reacted after the surgery? Any opinions or thoughts welcome!

Thank all :)

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I'm having my surgery tomorrow and I still haven't told my 5 and 3 year old. I'd love to hear the responses as well. I'm not sure what to tell them....good luck to you next Wednesday!

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I have three boys... 10, 8, 6 I have been blunt about it. I refer to it to the as skinny surgery, silly but they get that. The eldest said momma I like you this way and I explained when im thinner I will be able to be more active and do fun stuff. They love to hear how much weight I have lost at each pre opo appt... bet the will love post op appts... they all know its not about size but health

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At first I told my 9 year old son I was going in for a hernia repair (which I was) bad I explained what hiatal hernia was and we looked up diagrams online. The main thing he wanted to know is if my surgery could be "fatal" (that was a recent vocabulary work in school). I told him it was a simple procedure, no need to worry, it was outpatient, and mom would see him after school.

Now that 2 weeks have gone by and he sees I do not eat like I used to or with him and his dad, I think he realizes I did something to help me become less "fluffy". Now he loves my fluffy belly but I told him it was healthier for me to get rid of some of the fluff. He has been so gentle by not jumping on me the last few weeks, he asked to see my incisions, which are healing very nicely, and all in all, seems ok with everything. No disruptions at school, behavioral or academic.

Life goes on.

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Due to kids great ability to both not understand things fully (hey that's why they are kids) and to spread their understanding of things I agree that an explaination about having your stomach fixed might work very well. Of course you can't eat reg food as your stomach is healing. As time goes by and they ask more questions you can go to full truth about WLS or the simple explaination now your stomach is fixed you don't feel you need to need all the time. It is happier and not growling for food. The explaination needs to fit the age of the child. Yes though most definitely make sure they you know you will be just fine.

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My surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday (yikes!!)and I have been on my liquid diet for almost a week now.

My 2 eldest boys who are ages 9 & 5, have noticed that I haven't been eating food and have been asking a lot of questions as to why.

Today at lunch I decided to give them some warning about the upcoming surgery & they asked a million questions - as kids do!

I am pretty upfront with people about my struggles and plans to get surgery (if they ask why) but I absolutely was unprepared and struggled to tell my kids the truth.

I'm not sure that they are old enough to process what weight loss surgery means, and I'm a tiny bit worried that my 5 year old might innocently start suggesting it overweight people we know (he is very helpful like that!).

I settled on telling them that I am getting my stomach fixed because it's not really helping me be healthy (which is basically true!).

They had to be at the hospital with my husband when I had my EGD done & the surgery is at the same hospital so I was able to call on that to make it a bit less scary for them.

I'm curious to know how other people explained the surgery to younger kids, if at all? And how kids reacted after the surgery? Any opinions or thoughts welcome!

Thank all :)

Sent from my iPod touch using the BariatricPal App

At that age I think that telling them you need to have your stomach fixed to help you be healthier is a great explanation. Well done! You're being open and honest without overwhelming them with information they don't understand. Luckily, My kids 12 and 15 are lots easier to talk to and actually-- about 3 years ago when I initially thought about having it I spoke with my kids (9 and 12) about it then and they told me that surgery was for cheaters and that I should just work hard, exercise, use self control and stay disciplined. They were my toughest critics!!! For them I chose not to do the surgery at that time and decided I would give it another go on my own. 3 years later we revisited this topic and this time I wasn't thinking about it. I had already started the process. They did not tell me I was taking the easy way out this time-- actually they did not say anything but "ok-- it's your choice" and I respect that. They are already seeing the benefit and although they haven't said anything-- it's having a positive impact on their lives.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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