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What do you tell the waiter/server?



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I am 4 months out and Hubby an I eat out at least once each week. We share a meal or I get Soup or something small and that works for us. Just wondering what you tell the waiter / server when they look at you like they are asking if that is all you are going to eat. It sort of makes me uncomfortable and I feel like I should tell them something, even if it's made up. I know I don't have to say anything, but does anyone have any thoughts or ideas to share?

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I just say "oh yes, thank you. I always have to take some home" (and if the food was good I add, "it was fabulous, by the way")

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I say, "That is all. Thank you".

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No explaining. For three years we order one meal and they don't blink. We share and still have take home for the next day. So much fun to pay for one meal. Some people get fluffy wondering why you don't drink the glass of Water though!

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I say 'oh no thank you, I just ate'

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I've rarely ever given an explanation to a server. They'll ask if that's all I'd like, and I'll answer yes. For decades my mom has frequently ordered something small at restaurants, not because of weight issues (she's actually underweight) but due to having interstitial cystitis that causes her to have extreme sensitivity to many common foods and ingredients. A single bite containing something with black pepper will make her bladder feel like it's on fire for a day, but it would be awkward to reveal that when ordering a meal. She goes to wherever the family or friends wish to eat, and then just does her best to adapt. As an example, she ordered plain white rice at a Thai restaurant because it was literally the only option available to her. She is always polite, and she always makes up for ordering an inexpensive item by leaving a tip comparable to what it would be for a full sized meal. I've basically done the same thing. Or I just order a regular item, and ask for a takeaway box for the uneaten portion. It hasn't been an issue for me. You could always just say that you don't have much of an appetite right now, but you wish you did because there are so many things that look tempting, or something to that effect.

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Thank you Clementine Sky! Sometimes I say something, usually I don't. But I do feel like a tightwad sometimes when we are taking a table that could be used by two people ordering two full meals. I like your idea of tipping for a full meal each. And I like your suggestion about saying I don't have much of an appetite. Simple and short. Great ideas. Thank you!

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It bothers my husband more than it does me. Most of the comments from servers are because they think I didn't enjoy the food or thought it wasn't good. He'll say things like "she just eats like a bird".

I just ask for a Togo container.

Most of the time we've resorted into getting food to go from most places instead of dining in. Which is a bummer because I enjoy the atmosphere and company more than the food now.

Our local restaurant that we visit often knows I had surgery so they have "Cindy meals" lol which I love that they scale down menu items for me knowing that I won't eat it all.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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My doctor gave me this card and it explains I had surgery and cannot eat a lot. I usually get my meal at a reduced price or flat out for free

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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When we eat somewhere I'm going to just eat off my hubby's plate, he orders and asks for an extra plate and just says we're going to share..............at a seafood place we go to he orders whatever he wants and I order a side order of grilled shrimp....and don't explain anything.

I've never felt then need to explain anything to anyone.....

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I have a relationship with my waitresses.

It starts with a smile and a promise.

I tell 'em that I'm not hungry by powerfully thirsty and hate when my my glass gets empty.

They keep 'em coming and I tip nicely.

I don't go out to eat very often......prefer to do it myself at the house on the grill.

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After two years, I do not feel the need to explain why I share a plate with my sleeved husband. Mostly, we just laugh when they say "Are you sure that is all you want?" It is usually an appetizer!

When we get good service the tip is also good!

Sent from my SM-G935P using the BariatricPal App

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I will not deal with that card since it is no ones business. I would have a shake first, at home.

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Dub, you crack me up!

Thanks for all the input everyone. Good stuff here.

I bought one of those small carry coolers that I try to have in the car when we go out, so we can keep our leftovers cold until we get home. We don't always go directly home after lunch or dinner. But having trouble remembering to bring the cooler every time we go out. And it really does work out better if we just share one dish.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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