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overweight.and.tired

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overweight.and.tired    1

overweight.and.tired
Posted

Hi. This is my first post. I had my consult with my doc 8/1. Have most of my other appointments scheduled already. My insurance doesn't require a waiting period just a BMI over 35. I'm 5'4 and weigh 304. I'm still unsure if I want to have the surgery. The risks make me nervous but i desire so badly to be healthy and thin.

My hubby is so very supportive but all other family members are not supportive and don't want me to have the surgery.

Not sure what I should do. I'm looking for some kind advice

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suebee411    3

suebee411
Posted

Hi! I was scared as well. Terrified. It took me 3 years to finally do it, I had to pay for all the tests twice because I chickened out the first time and too much time had passed when I finally went back to the surgeon. (I'm self-pay and I had to refinance to get the money)

I told the psychiatrist I went to for surgery clearance that I was very scared. She said..."I'd be worried if you weren't scared. I can see that you know this will be not be easy, that it's not a magic pill, and that there may be pain and complications. For me, that makes you the best candidate for surgery."

My friends were supportive, but my mother basically told me she thought it was a waste of my money because she's known many people that had it and didn't succeed. Thanks mom!!

In the end, I asked myself...will I regret it if I don't do it? ( I was 325 on the surgery day). I don't care about being thin, I just want less pain and more mobility and more fun. I want to be able to travel, bike, hike...

I hope that helps. Good luck!

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OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted

@@overweight.and.tired

At your height and weight you will probably never be able to lose the weight on your own and keep it off. The odds are just against you. Surgery is the best option for you.

If you don't have the support of people around you that will make your recovery harder and it will make long term success harder.

Getting at least the people in your house on board is the best thing for long term success, if you can. If not worry about your own health. You are the only person that has to live in your body, no one else.

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SassyNanny    311

SassyNanny
Posted

I weighed 324 at 5'4" 9 months ago. Today I'm 236, down 98 pounds. Blood Work is all normal. No problems, no regrets. Another 62 pounds to go. I'm 65. Be brave. It's worth it.

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Bufflehead    6,358

Bufflehead
Posted

The risks of surgery make you nervous, which is understandable. But you have to know that the risks of morbid obesity are much, much higher than the risks of surgery. Surgery has risks, but it also has potential rewards. Staying morbidly obese has no rewards, and the risks of early death and severe health problems are massive. Your family will likely come around once they see you on the mend from surgery and getting slimmer, happier, and healthier. They love you, and that's what they want for you, they just don't understand yet that surgery is pretty much the only option you have to get it.

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KristenLe    5,980

KristenLe
Posted

Hi. This is my first post. I had my consult with my doc 8/1. Have most of my other appointments scheduled already. My insurance doesn't require a waiting period just a BMI over 35. I'm 5'4 and weigh 304. I'm still unsure if I want to have the surgery. The risks make me nervous but i desire so badly to be healthy and thin.

My hubby is so very supportive but all other family members are not supportive and don't want me to have the surgery.

Not sure what I should do. I'm looking for some kind advice

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Your weight is at a dangerous level. Unfortunately, it's very unlikely you will be able to lose weight on your own. Only 5% who do lose weight on their own keep it off. Not good stats!

Try writing a list of all the things you want to do after weight loss (ride a rollercoaster, wear a sexy dress, play with your children/grandchildren, better sex, fit into a great pair of jeans, kayaking, skiing, being around to see a child marry, etc) and frequently review it to remind you of why you're having surgery.

Therapy is also a good idea pre-op and post-op! Good luck! Stay strong!

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determined1LD    19

determined1LD
Posted

@@overweight.and.tired

At your height and weight you will probably never be able to lose the weight on your own and keep it off. The odds are just against you. Surgery is the best option for you.

If you don't have the support of people around you that will make your recovery harder and it will make long term success harder.

Getting at least the people in your house on board is the best thing for long term success, if you can. If not worry about your own health. You are the only person that has to live in your body, no one else.

I wouldn't go as far as say the word never to anyone! Just know there are support groups that you can go to that you find support. That's what I have to do. I don't have much support either. Even a sister who had the surgery herself is not supportive of me. So I have to find support elsewhere and that's ok. I was scared to. I waited 3 years myself now I'm on a journey all my appointments are almost scheduled

determined1LD

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cindyw41    761

cindyw41
Posted

One thing that I've learned through this process is that the people who are against WLS are not informed and base their disapproval on what they've heard and not the facts.

Listen to your Self. You have the support of the only one that matters on the grand scheme of things. Let him be your rock.

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OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted

@@overweight.and.tired

At your height and weight you will probably never be able to lose the weight on your own and keep it off. The odds are just against you. Surgery is the best option for you.

If you don't have the support of people around you that will make your recovery harder and it will make long term success harder.

Getting at least the people in your house on board is the best thing for long term success, if you can. If not worry about your own health. You are the only person that has to live in your body, no one else.

I wouldn't go as far as say the word never to anyone! Just know there are support groups that you can go to that you find support. That's what I have to do. I don't have much support either. Even a sister who had the surgery herself is not supportive of me. So I have to find support elsewhere and that's ok. I was scared to. I waited 3 years myself now I'm on a journey all my appointments are almost scheduled

determined1LD

That is why I said probably before never, qualifying words matter, and so does reading comprehension.

And statistically, someone that morbidly obese has less than a 5% chance of losing weight on their own and keeping it off.

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determined1LD    19

determined1LD
Posted

@@overweight.and.tired

At your height and weight you will probably never be able to lose the weight on your own and keep it off. The odds are just against you. Surgery is the best option for you.

If you don't have the support of people around you that will make your recovery harder and it will make long term success harder.

Getting at least the people in your house on board is the best thing for long term success, if you can. If not worry about your own health. You are the only person that has to live in your body, no one else.

I wouldn't go as far as say the word never to anyone! Just know there are support groups that you can go to that you find support. That's what I have to do. I don't have much support either. Even a sister who had the surgery herself is not supportive of me. So I have to find support elsewhere and that's ok. I was scared to. I waited 3 years myself now I'm on a journey all my appointments are almost scheduled

determined1LD

That is why I said probably before never, qualifying words matter, and so does reading comprehension.

And statistically, someone that morbidly obese has less than a 5% chance of losing weight on their own and keeping it off.

I just think being rude to me and mean to her in inappropriate. This supposed to uplifting and supportive saying things like that is uncalled for.

determined1LD

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OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted (edited)

@@overweight.and.tired

At your height and weight you will probably never be able to lose the weight on your own and keep it off. The odds are just against you. Surgery is the best option for you.

If you don't have the support of people around you that will make your recovery harder and it will make long term success harder.

Getting at least the people in your house on board is the best thing for long term success, if you can. If not worry about your own health. You are the only person that has to live in your body, no one else.

I wouldn't go as far as say the word never to anyone! Just know there are support groups that you can go to that you find support. That's what I have to do. I don't have much support either. Even a sister who had the surgery herself is not supportive of me. So I have to find support elsewhere and that's ok. I was scared to. I waited 3 years myself now I'm on a journey all my appointments are almost scheduled

determined1LD

That is why I said probably before never, qualifying words matter, and so does reading comprehension.

And statistically, someone that morbidly obese has less than a 5% chance of losing weight on their own and keeping it off.

I just think being rude to me and mean to her in inappropriate. This supposed to uplifting and supportive saying things like that is uncalled for.

determined1LD

First I am not being mean to OP. Surgery is the best option for OP, and a lot of other people. I wasted years of my life going back and forth about surgery, gaining and losing weight. I am not quoting statistics to be mean or doom someone, FACTS ARE FACTS. I am encouraging OP to peruse surgery because that is going to give her the best long term outcome.

It is basically impossible to lose weight and keep it off on your own, especially once you get over 300 pounds. Ask a Dr or Google. Your body will defend that weight and fight against you at every turn, the hormonal and set point change created by surgery forces your body to let go of that weight. The only people saying different are people trying to sell snake oil.

As far as what I said to you, if you are going to try and correct someone, then be correct in the first place. Don't try to take me to task when you are just flat out wrong, then get mad when I clap back that you are wrong. I said "probably never" because yeah there is a chance that OP can lose the weight on her own, but that chance is very slim. Thus the reason I used probably because the probability is very low.

Edited by OutsideMatchInside

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

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        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

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      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

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      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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