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Do Men make good Single Parents?



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:faint:*Hey there again.....I am a 50 year old Man who made the choice of becoming a single Parent once me and the ex-wife broke up. It was a well discussed decision to say the least. With my ex-wife leaning heavily that I do this--since both of our kids are boys.

My Journey started in July 2000. Here I was with 21 month old son and a 4 year old older son. I had no idea of what I could do with them, but as the time went along--I learned and I am still learning. I thank God for my Mother who paid close attention to me as a child, teaching me to cook and wash. Along with many other household duties. I am the eldest of 7 kids she had. So I was her helper for many years and much of the lessons stuck like glue. I live 1300 miles away from my sisters and brother salong with my Mom being there too (New York). I live in the northwest part of Mississippi (Hernando) about 17 miles south of Memphis, Tenn.

How do the Women feel about Men who are single Fathers?

*Oh yes--I am very lucky with the way I do. I was injured an my Job--had back surgery. I have been out of work since 1998. Thank God I was an Army Soldier--who had the same issues in the Army. It's not the greatest living--but my children do well....

*This is not a new subject to me, but I still have issues with the many crazy questions I am getting from some single Women or Mothers with kids.:help:;)

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I dont think this question has one answer. It really depends on the man doesnt it.

It would take a special kinda guy to give up what society has shown is "acceptable" and "expected"...

The man works - the man brings home the bacon and the man is the main breadwinner.

My hat is off to any guy willing to stay at home and look after the kids, and look after them well....not just sit at home, watch TV and throw the child a cheeseburger when they say they are hungry.

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It's not fair to say that a man doesn't make a good single parent and it's not fair to say that women make good single parents. There are good single parents and bad single parents in both classes.

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I have a nephew that is the best single parent I ever saw! He loves his kids, and works with them all the time. He helps with everything, he has his own home and he is a great cook. I would say a single male could make a very good father if he likes the job! It's not easy though! Good Luck to you!

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My hat is off to you! My neighbor and his girlfriend had a pair of twin girls in '96. By '99 they had split up because she was "tired" of being a mother. He took those girls while that stupid mother ran off to "fullfill her social life she never had". He has raised those girls since. I've watched him and he has been a great dad. It's a calling. Some people have it and some people don't. I commend everyone who does.

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I hear ya.

I'm a single mother of 3 boys and it is very hard, especially since I don't have an athletic bone in my body and my boys love sports. But just like there are great single parents there are crappy parents, you just do the best you can.

You can do it and you will do it, because you love your kids and that's all there is to it.

Good luck.

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My father was a single parent. I would say he a did a great job, he even learned how to braid hair so he could do my little sister's hair. He told me once after I asked him how he learned the differences in "dealing" with a boy and girl with no female figure around. He said:

"kids hurt themselves as kids a bound to do, the way you deal with a little girl after she falls down or bumps into something is you go over and give her a hug and hold her, ask her if she is ok, make a show of checking out the 'owie' and tell her it will be 'ok', then she is fine. with a boy you just yell 'You Bleeding?' 'No?' 'Your Fine Then' and then they get up and move on"

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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