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@@gina171, if you think now that having your husband around will be more stressful than helpful, leave him out of the equation. He can visit you after you've been home a couple of days.

There's no way to know in advance how you'll feel after surgery. You'll be wise to have someone, whether a home aide or other, stop in for however many days. You'll definitely need someone to escort you through the hospital exit. Because their liability insurers are fussy, hospital personnel balk and gritch when someone wants to leave solo. They don't care a hoot once you're out on the pavement.

Yes, stock up before your surgery date. If you can have your home pain meds in advance, great.

Use your stress-free, alone time as vacation. Think your thoughts, sing, read and contemplate the wonders to come.

Edited by WLSResources/ClothingExch

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I am single and live alone. I travelled to Mexico for surgery. Went shopping the day after surgery, I was on the 6th floor of the Marriot and I purposely walked up and down the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Drove myself home from the airport five hours 3 days postop. Returned to a driveway full of snow, which I plowed with my ATV. I fed and watered my horses, dogs and cats. I went shopping, did laundry, got a haircut, and was back to work within a week. Other than asking a friend to shovel a path to the barn I had no problems taking care of myself and house/ranch chores. Couldnt lift over 20 pounds for 3 weeks, but that was manageable.

Bloody hell woman! You're one tough cookie!

In comparison I was completely useless first couple of days and even if I might not have needed much physical help, if I'm being honest with myself, it was nice to have my husband there to give me the "there, there, poor baby" lines. ;)

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@@bini120 ... Yes it would be nice, but my husband has decided he doesn't want to be that guy, after 28 years together.

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@@bini120 ... Yes it would be nice, but my husband has decided he doesn't want to be that guy, after 28 years together.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I've just realized how insensitive my post in response to @@Kindle, was to your original post. I'm sorry. I should've been more aware - I feel a right idiot.

Just a point about your original post: it is infinitely healthier and more courageous to walk away from something that you know is not in your best interest, than to stick around because you're afraid you won't find something better. You will be changing your life with this surgery and no time like the present to discard of old routines that were damaging to you. You can do this without him.

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@@bini120 .... I was probably being oversensitive.... Please don't worry, I remember the days when I had what you have now, and it WAS wonderful. Don't feel bad, like I said, I'm just a little sensitive and bruised right now. All the best to you.

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I'm single and living alone, and a week post op today. I'm mainly using Facebook and this site as my support system but I have some local friends that have been great; I'm doing fine. I had a friend come down and help me out with driving me to and from the hospital, but he went home the day after I got back.

Don't overdo anything since you'll still be healing from the procedure, but its good to be up and moving and doing things for yourself around the house, etc.

Best of luck!

How are you doing now? Hope you are doing well.

Sent from my Nexus 6 using the BariatricPal App

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I didn't need any help with anything during or after surgery....Although my husband was there.......You can drive as soon as you're not taking pain meds...I didn't take any pain meds after I left the hospital............However, everyone is different.

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I'm a single parent. My friend took my then 15 year old for the four days I was in the hospital. My twin drove me, my mom came for extra support and my friend picked me up for days later. Once I was home I was pretty much on my own.

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@@gina171, It’s completely a personal situation. If you already know that being around him too much is not good for you and that he’ll make you feel nervous, I think you already have your answer. It also sounds like you’ve thought carefully about this and don’t have unrealistic hopes of not needing help – you said you’re willing to hire home aide if needed.

Good luck! This is about you, not him, so do what you need to do.

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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