Single and Looking!

[samanthajo20070 2]

Hi all! 27/F/Eastern KY

I just had RNY on 6/17 but I've been single for almost 5 years!

I'm looking for fellow singles, around my age, local-ish and, preferably, with no children.

Send me a message!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Sophie74656 1,572]

Best of luck to you. Hope you find your special someone.

I am newly single and also kind of looking...after 12 years. I have no idea how to date LOL

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@samanthajo20070 - No offence, but this is not a great place to look for a guy. The numbers just don't make sense. Many more women then men have WLS. The men most likely to have WLS are in committed relationships (men who take care of themselves tend to be married, that's why single guys die so quickly).

If you want dates, go to where the men are...Tinder, guys really out number ladies (about 3-1). If you want a huge number of guys, go to Ashley Madison (not every guy there is married, but heck, not every guy on Match.com is single) - 10-1 ratio BTW. You will probably get more serious hits on Match.com and EHarmony - the people there have to have a credit card, but women do tend to outnumber men so don't be discouraged.

Personally, I appreciate your boldness. You have to ask to be noticed. If you want to be taken seriously, you have to get some pictures out there, give enough information like where you are, age, what you want, what you DON'T want etc.

I enjoyed dating the last few years. I have REALLY enjoyed finding my significant other nearly eight months ago and have no desire to date again. Some of the best tips I have found I shared are in this section: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/336754-unsolicited-online-dating-advice/

Good luck, happy hunting, enjoy the process, don't be cavalier with other people's hearts.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@samanthajo20070

I think @@AvaFern said she didn't want to date until she was at goal, and now I understand why. My hormones were in over drive at 3 months and I started dating. I regret it. I should have waited. It distracted me from my WLS. I didn't go off program or anything but it was hard to manage being post-op and all those early adjustments, and my business and dating.

I would suggest waiting until you are at least 6 months. You are fully healed and your life is back to normal for the most part. If you can really hold out, waiting till 1 year is even better. I totally feel like a normal person now just with a smaller appetite. I can passably eat enough that people don't think I am anorexic, so no odd questions.

I understand want to get out there, but if you wait. You can avoid a lot of issues and awkward conversations.

@@OKCPirate Is totally right about where to look, and this place is terrible. 98% of the men that post here are married and most of the ones that are single that post on a regular basis aren't even in America. Wait till winter and hit Tinder hard with some great selfies.

[samanthajo20070 2]

@@OKCPirate

I never said I was looking for a MAN or WOMAN, you know what they say about assuming....

Also, I don't need your advice about where to find dates, being single for so long, I know what avenues to work.

I never said anything about what I am looking for because, I do not know, all I am looking for now, is exactly what I posted so, please, don't be so "cavalier" with giving out advice when people have not asked for not.

@@OutsideMatchInside

You do know Tinder is notoriously known for just hookups, right...?

Also, same thing I told OKCPirate, I didn't ask for advice

------------

Comments like the ones I'm receiving always remind me why I never participate in Bariatric forums/communities. People think they're being supportive by telling you what THEY think is best for YOU, most of the time when that is not even nearly close what you've asked for.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[samanthajo20070 2]

Also, because of the (yet again) unsupportive and negative feedback I've gotten on this Bari board, I will be removing the app from my phone.

If any TRUE single and supportive people come across this post and want to chat, kik me at: samanthajo200070

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

Actually... i think that okcpirate answered your question... your title was "single and looking" so he answered where to look for singles... and the pros and cons of each.

There was not enough information on your post for anyone to give you a specific answers... no need to get upset at the people who made an effort to reply to your vague post.

Regardless... wishing you the best of luck in your search for whatever it is you are looking for ????

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@samanthajo20070

You know this isn't a dating website right? So saying you are single and looking here seems ridiculous. Not to mention even the demographics of this website, even if you are looking for just other single friends, this is the worst place to look. Most of the posters here are married and have kids, usually lots of kids. This isn't the foot loose and fancy free singles haven.

And just because Tinder is "for hooking up" doesn't mean you have to hook up. Just because you go to the buffet, you don't have to eat. People like Tinder because they don't have to bother with making profiles. If you are pretty enough, lots of guys will want to take you out and get to know you. It is a fast track to getting a lot of dates really fast, it is just a phone speed dating app really.

With your attitude, Good Luck. You are going to need it

Edited June 21, 2016 by OutsideMatchInside

[AvaFern 3,516]

Like @@OutsideMatchInside said, I was someone who chose to wait until I was at goal to date. I actually waited until I had had my last plastics surgery as well. I knew that if I wanted to hit goal, I needed to be completely focused on myself. When I did start dating again, I didn't work out as much, we went out to dinner a lot, and while I didn't gain weight, I was super happy I was below goal because I had no time to actually lose weight.

Past that, I met that boyfriend, the first guy I dated after surgery on Tinder. He is the only person I have ever met offline through that app, we talked for almost a month, went on a date, I didn't like him in person, lol, but I liked him in texts so we stayed friends. We talked almost everyday until we saw each other again in May and it wasn't until late June after we had been dating for weeks and had been talking for months that there was ever any action. Tinder is designed to be a hook-up app, however I like it because every creep and their mother can't send me messages if I don't also swipe (right or left? it's been awhile). Also admittedly, this sounds conceited so I apologize in advance, I don't remember the last time I swiped right (or left?) and the guy didn't match with me. I think dudes just hit yes for every woman on the chance that one will like them back, lol, but hey it does good things for your self-esteem when seemingly hot men like you.

Past that though, @@OKCPirate wasn't being mean to you. He is one of the people on this site who don't tend to cause drama and who usually provide you with a straightforward, thoughtful answer, which he did. Your response was instantly defensive, which believe me, I find myself reacting defensively to things that I look back later and thing, hmm, I totally read that wrong. If you're going to date online or at all, men pick up very quickly when you respond defensively to something that is not intended to be hurtful or insulting. It is a red flag that makes them run away because ain't no one got time for that.

Good luck in dating...it's a jungle out there.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@samanthajo20070 - sorry if I gave you any offence.

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

I love this sh*t...

[audaciousmarie 165]

Hi all! 27/F/Eastern KY

I just had RNY on 6/17 but I've been single for almost 5 years!

I'm looking for fellow singles, around my age, local-ish and, preferably, with no children.

Send me a message!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Good luck and I hope you find the person you are looking for

Sent from my SM-G928T using the BariatricPal App

[Oak Park Lorena 162]

@@samanthajo20070

You know this isn't a dating website right? So saying you are single and looking here seems ridiculous. Not to mention even the demographics of this website, even if you are looking for just other single friends, this is the worst place to look. Most of the posters here are married and have kids, usually lots of kids. This isn't the foot loose and fancy free singles haven.

And just because Tinder is "for hooking up" doesn't mean you have to hook up. Just because you go to the buffet, you don't have to eat. People like Tinder because they don't have to bother with making profiles. If you are pretty enough, lots of guys will want to take you out and get to know you. It is a fast track to getting a lot of dates really fast, it is just a phone speed dating app really.

With your attitude, Good Luck. You are going to need it

Yeah, jeez, samathajo, posting about being single and looking for other singles in a forum called "singles forum," how ridiculous.

[Oak Park Lorena 162]

Actually... i think that okcpirate answered your question... your title was "single and looking" so he answered where to look for singles... and the pros and cons of each.

There was not enough information on your post for anyone to give you a specific answers... no need to get upset at the people who made an effort to reply to your vague post.

Regardless... wishing you the best of luck in your search for whatever it is you are looking for

Sorry, but how is a post entitled "Single and Looking!" a question?

There was no question, looked like a rather factual and exuberant "hey, I'm here" kind of post announcing that someone was looking for kindred spirits. Good thing all you vets were here to set her straight.

I honestly think this board needs a thread about cyber-bullying, I cannot believe how many snarky, mean-spirited posts I've seen just in the couple of days I've been back on here. Yeah, I'm looking at you @outsideMatchinside. What a mean post, totally unnecessary.

I think it's a shame that those of us who have endured being the butt of so many insensitve people all our lives because of our weight come here to look for comrades and get this nonsense instead. Didn't your years of struggling with your weight make you at all empathic to others? I don't really care if this angers some of you, I suspect that the worst offenders on here will be the most offended. I stand by my comments and I am sure that there are others on here or who like the OP in this thread, flee after getting so much "advice."

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

@@Oak Park Lorena

I don't think the reply that @@OKCPirate pirate wasn't being rude or mean at all.... he basically replying to her "question", "quote" whatever you want to call it, he was offering advice... and HE was called out on it abruptly.... so it goes both ways.... there was no need to be rude to him for offering friendly advice.... he was only trying to help

The original post said:

"I'm looking for singles, around my age, local-ish and, preferably, with no children"

So, it would be easy to assume that they are looking for singles....

Edited June 26, 2016 by AussieGirl81