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@@Oak Park Lorena

I don't think the reply that @@OKCPirate pirate wasn't being rude or men at all.... he basically replying to her "question", "quote" whatever you want to call it, he was offering advice... and HE was called out on it abruptly.... so it goes both ways.... there was no need to be rude to him for offering friendly advice....

I wasn't necessarily speaking of OKCPirate's post, I was speaking of the posts by those who felt the need to chastize the OP and insult her for having the temerity to speak up. And I don't know that she was rude to him, she was rather blunt, but I don't know that it's rude. I think that there are many people on this site dispensing advice when it's not asked for and often when it isn't appropriate. I'm not surprised that there are people who don't appreciate that.

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Well, i guess it is a forum, so most people feel the need to respond or may have been through a similar situation so they offer advice.

If a person doesn't want a response or expects a specific type of response and get upset when it doesn't match their expectations, then why would they need post? It seems counterproductive to me.

I agree with you, people shouldn't get chastised for speaking up, but it goes the other way too... there is no need to chastise people for replying either.

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@@Oak Park Lorena

People responded to her in a thoughtful manner, taking the time to respond to her post instead of ignoring it. All her responses to people were rude, and ungrateful. She was pretty rude to OKCPirate in particular and yeah my response reflected that.

You get what you give.

The singles forum is more for talking about being single. It isn't a place to meet people.

As long as internet forums have existed people have got annoyed when people don't even bother to read the forum and post. Anyone that spent a day reading on BP would know there aren't many single people here.

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@@Oak Park Lorena

People responded to her in a thoughtful manner, taking the time to respond to her post instead of ignoring it. All her responses to people were rude, and ungrateful. She was pretty rude to OKCPirate in particular and yeah my response reflected that.

You get what you give.

The singles forum is more for talking about being single. It isn't a place to meet people.

As long as internet forums have existed people have got annoyed when people don't even bother to read the forum and post. Anyone that spent a day reading on BP would know there aren't many single people here.

I see, so you the keepers of the forum will flame and insult anyone who doesn't read all the threads first to make sure it is the right forum? Good to know. Also, if this is a forum to discuss being single, why are there people who are married and in relationships doing all the posting? Maybe you should turn your friendly, helpful gaze on them and rip their heads off, too. Maybe start with OKCPirate. He's in a relationship, no? What's he doing on a single's forum? Why aren't you shooting your rule-breaker flames at him?

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@@Oak Park Lorena

The conversation was over, you showed up days later to stir the pot what reason? No one posting in this thread, it was dropped and you showed up to stirr the ****.

Who is policing whom?

Edited by OutsideMatchInside

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This is a direct quote from the OP who started the singles forum:

In fact, it may be time to date again! You can come here to the BariatricPal singles forum to mingle with other singles who have or are thinking about bariatric surgery. It can be a lot easier to start a relationship when you know the other person has the same health values as you, and understands what you’re going through.

Seems to me that was exactly what the OP of this thread was doing, no? Perhaps all of you who were so outraged that a woman had the nerve to look for fellow single sleevers on a forum called "singles forum" that appears to have been created for that very purpose, should start your own competing "bizarro singles forum" in which married and attached people lecture single people about being single, a topic which we all know people who aren't single know more about than single people. Then those of us who are single and want to talk to other single people can avoid it!

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@@Oak Park Lorena

The conversation was over, you showed up days later to stir the pot what reason? No one posting in this thread, it was dropped and you showed up to stirr the ****.

Who is policing whom?

Really, funny, shows a response on the 22nd, that's hardly makes it a stale thread by this forum's standards. It showed up as one of the more recent threads in the forum list as well. But, no worries, I will add to the list of the rules perpetuated by the Flaming Forum Trolls: no responses to threads after. . .sorry, how many days before we aren't allowed to respond? I'd hate to make another mistake. Maybe you can add to your forum overlord duties to post "CONVERSATION CLOSED" on threads you deem closed. That way it's clear as an unmuddied lake to the rest of us who are just here to engage in pleasant conversations and mutual support :)

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@@Oak Park Lorena - I did apologize 5 days ago. I do get over-enthusiastic on the subject of dating, it was a subject I really enjoyed studying post divorce. Because of my work in politics/campaigns and elections, I actually get to study demographics, web traffic and human behavior more than most and it looks like I read way more into her post than she intended, so I apologized. I hope there is no need to continue the discussion.

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@@Oak Park Lorena - I did apologize 5 days ago. I do get over-enthusiastic on the subject of dating, it was a subject I really enjoyed studying post divorce. Because of my work in politics/campaigns and elections, I actually get to study demographics, web traffic and human behavior more than most and it looks like I read way more into her post than she intended, so I apologized. I hope there is no need to continue the discussion.

I really appreciated the site traffic information site that you've linked to, wish I'd known about that before plunking down $$ for some dating sites that seem to have about 4 users! I understand that you were being helpful and that you apologized when you saw that the OP was irked. That's not really what I'm responding to, it's those who felt the need to attack her. I haven't really been on this site since my sleeve in 2013 and have to say that there is a definite chill in the air that wasn't here before.

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@@OKCPirate

I never said I was looking for a MAN or WOMAN, you know what they say about assuming....

Also, I don't need your advice about where to find dates, being single for so long, I know what avenues to work.

I never said anything about what I am looking for because, I do not know, all I am looking for now, is exactly what I posted so, please, don't be so "cavalier" with giving out advice when people have not asked for not.

@@OutsideMatchInside

You do know Tinder is notoriously known for just hookups, right...?

Also, same thing I told OKCPirate, I didn't ask for advice

------------

Comments like the ones I'm receiving always remind me why I never participate in Bariatric forums/communities. People think they're being supportive by telling you what THEY think is best for YOU, most of the time when that is not even nearly close what you've asked for.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

chiiiile please! Do what feels good for and to you! I like your boldness hey it's probably somebody in your inbox now!

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It is all a distraction. My food is down--because I just had surgery, now let me solve all of my problems in the first 60 days. People are more similar than not. A lot of emotions come up after surgery. For me, it was a lot of anger. I wanted to leave my partner of 6 years--he was so annoying ALL OF A SUDDEN. I still have a long ways to go on this journey--I am almost 6 months out, but I am not going to invite any life changing newness into my life and I am not going to discard anything important from my life for the next at least 6 months. I really struggle with food, even still. Food for me, has been my constant companion for over 25 years and putting that down makes me want to pick up something else. Whenever people on this site talk about passing their mental health inspection--because they DON'T have an eating disorder, hence they could get the surgery--I just shake my head. No one I have ever met, gets to be super obese because they have a genetics problem and are otherwise the picture of perfect mental health. Good luck to you in your pursuits and I hope that you find whatever it is that you are looking for. If you are struggling with loneliness you could adopt a dog, they are loyal, adorable, in need of good homes and right now I have a 95 pound Great Pyrenesse laying in my bed next to me who wants nothing from me but to be loved, fed and scratched--he is amazing and I got him after my surgery. He was at a no kill shelter for two years. I didn't rescue him, most days I feel like he rescued me.

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This has been an interesting thread to read. I am single, male, sleeved, and have been "looking" for about a month. I have recently met two women who disclosed that they had WLS (one had the sleeve and the other a gastric bypass) without any prompting from me. There was no romantic connection with either of them, but I enjoyed having a face to face discussion with folks who have had WLS.

@Samanthjo20070 - I think your post was appropriate, and if I was younger and lived closer to you I would have messaged you. Good luck with your search!

@@OKCPirate - I appreciate your sharing of your dating experiences. I know I need to have the numbers in my favor and recently volunteered at a local Wine and Music festival where the mix was about 75% women / 25% men. I found out that I got better looking as the women continued to taste wine. :)

@@Oak Park Lorena - You have a great dry sense of humor and I chuckled about your suggestion of creating a "bizarro singles forum". Please keep your posts coming.

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I can't decide whether I want to be a Flaming Forum Troll or a Forum Overlord...

Looks like I've got a decision to make...

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I can't decide whether I want to be a Flaming Forum Troll or a Forum Overlord...

Looks like I've got a decision to make...

I have no doubt you will make the right call, what ever it is. Your call Doc

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I can't decide whether I want to be a Flaming Forum Troll or a Forum Overlord...

Looks like I've got a decision to make...

Ha! Yes, though there is what's behind door number 3 to consider as well . . .

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