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Well I had my family over today for a cookout, now keep in mind I'm one month post op. So I know my limits of what I can have and what I can't have and how much. I know the feeling in my stomach when enough is enough. So I sat down with my grilled soft veggies and linguine salad. I had a total of about 3TBS on my plate. I was about 1/2 way done eating (1.5 TBS) and everyone said "oh you are done", "that's enough Amy", "how much are you gonna eat Amy"? pretty soon my husband just took my plate away. My feelings were hurt because it's not like I sat down with a plate full. I did all the cooking for the picnic ( except for what people brought), I did all the grilling. Like is this the way it's always going to be, I wanted to just go lay in bed and watch tv.. I didn't really even enjoy myself because everyone was watching me like a hawk:/ Iv lost 26 pds in one month. I'm just sad that I thought this social gathering would of been more fun. No more picnics for me!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Damn, I'm sorry they treated you that way. You'll have to develop some responses that shut down their busybody ways and shows you are strong in you decisions about what you put in your body. I'd suggest having a serious talk with your husband about him taking your plate... You are not 4!

This has not been my experience at all by the way. My family knows about my surgery and never comments on what/how much I eat (to my face at least). Don't accept it as the norm.

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Sorry you had a bad day....shame on your husband!

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People really do not understand at all. I'm sure they thought they were being helpful. Agree that you should at least let your hubby know how that made you feel. Do not let this dissuade you. You are doing a great job!!!

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Wow, that was uncalled for. Time for you to explain to your hubby that you know what you are supposed to eat. He can be suppportive but not to be an @$$.

LS

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Well I had my family over today for a cookout, now keep in mind I'm one month post op. So I know my limits of what I can have and what I can't have and how much. I know the feeling in my stomach when enough is enough. So I sat down with my grilled soft veggies and linguine salad. I had a total of about 3TBS on my plate. I was about 1/2 way done eating (1.5 TBS) and everyone said "oh you are done", "that's enough Amy", "how much are you gonna eat Amy"? pretty soon my husband just took my plate away. My feelings were hurt because it's not like I sat down with a plate full. I did all the cooking for the picnic ( except for what people brought), I did all the grilling. Like is this the way it's always going to be, I wanted to just go lay in bed and watch tv.. I didn't really even enjoy myself because everyone was watching me like a hawk:/ Iv lost 26 pds in one month. I'm just sad that I thought this social gathering would of been more fun. No more picnics for me!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Damn! food police are the worst. If someone took my plate away I would have probably taken off their arm.

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Oh honey *big hug*, that is terrible you were treated like that... it's not a nice feeling when people take it upon themselves to control the way you eat, even when its supposedly coming from a good place.

I would sit your hubby down and calmly explain that it was embarrassing and very uncalled for to be treated like that and you are a grown adult who knows what is required to eat and what portions.

I'm really sorry you had to go through that

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DId they make the same kinds of comments before your surgery? My family did and still do post-surgery. Its like they don't trust me to follow the instructions I was given. I have to say no one has tried to take my plate away though. That would have brought out a BIG can of Whoop@$$!

HUGS to you. You got this. Show them how much you've got this and then also get yourself some comebacks. You'll be fine.

pam

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Sorry to hear about your rough experience. I always just try to remember that BETTER (And LIGHTER) times are ahead. I just had all my family over for a cookout. The food always smells great BUT I know my limits. I try to prepare things that I CAN have (in the "mushies" phase). I am ALWAYS full after two or three bites and by the time I allow digestion, my cravings for anymore has passed!!! I also make sure to have a protien shake before I go to events and/or out with the family. That seems to keep me from feeling hungry AND down about others around me being able to eat (which I have to admit, now secretly makes me grossed out a little bit watching now...LOL). I agree with others that talking to your husband and family is a great idea. NO ONE needs to police you....YOU'VE GOT THIS!!! Good luck with everything!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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