Is your surgery a secret?

[Tara1992 79]

I'm finished all my pre op duties for my insurance and I'm waiting on the approval! (Yay)!! But I'm in a little dilemma. I haven't told anyone about my surgery except my mom, fiance, and one friend months ago.

Did you tell anyone? I don't know why I'm not. I think I may be in denial about needing the surgery and I feel upset I couldn't lose the weight without this tool.

Also, I've been up at night trying to figure out what I'm going to tell the people at my work when I have to leave for 1-3 weeks...

Just feeling stressed...

Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

[GSleeve822 394]

I told my close friends and family. I've told no one at work. I said I had a laproscopic surgery for fibroids in my uterus. It's only uncomfortable when people ask how I am losing so much weight and I have to lie about it. For me, it's the right choice to keep it simple and not explain to ppl about the surgery

Sent from my SM-G930T using the BariatricPal App

[Bobbieswife 95]

I don't care who I tell. It's a personal decision that you made that you should feel good about. People will talk about you if you are overweight and even when you start losing weight. I feel like if I have to be ashamed, stressed, or even lie about having WLS, then maybe it's something I shouldn't do. Our weight loss story could potentially help someone else who is battling obesity

[Shaydi.Laine 237]

It's only uncomfortable when people ask how I am losing so much weight and I have to lie about it.

Sent from my SM-G930T using the BariatricPal App

You don't have to lie about it. The surgery is not HOW you are losing weight. You are losing through diet and exercise. You are eating smaller portions, making healthy choices, and moving more. That is HOW you are losing weight. And that is an absolutely true, acceptable, and appropriate answer. The surgery is just a tool to help you do that, and it's nobody's business. Honestly I'm doing a lot more of the work than the surgery is. I could totally screw this up all on my own and the surgery couldn't stop me.

I told no one except for my mother who had the lap band, my sister who is a nutritionist and tried to talk me out of it (biatch), and eventually my aunt and only because I needed her to pick me up from the hospital and spend a couple days with me. Even the friend who dropped me off at the hospital at 6am thought she was taking me for an upper GI series Then at 5 weeks in, I told one old friend who came to visit for a weekend. I thought he would call me crazy but to my shock he said he was very proud of me. And that's it. Outside of that tiny handful of people, I'm staying in the closet about this and am totally cool with that. I don't feel the need to share this bit of my life with all my friends and acquaintances, and I certainly wouldn't feel bad about not telling coworkers or strangers.

Not comfortable talking about your private medical situations with the world? Then don't. It's not their business.

[Guest sydneyjonno]

When I had my first WLS I told everyone. No secrets at all. For me I regretted it. Every time I ate something if anyone was around, they question it, judge me, ask if it was low fat. "Should you be eating that?!" At home, at work, socialising. Nightmare, gave me a complex. Really hated all of the questions and judgment. Then I emigrated to another country due to work requirements and kept it secret apart from a select few. Best thing ever for me. The peering eyes at my food, the embarrassing questions all stopped. It was great. Now I've just had my 3rd WLS and my food intake has drastically reduced, I'm not sure what to tell people socially when I'm out for dinner with them. At home is fine, work is fine, but in a restaurant where the focus is on food I'm not too sure what to say. I'm certainly not making the mistake of telling everyone. Can't be doing with the dramas. I don't want to be reminded of it by someone every time I eat. This is just my personal choice and experiences. Kudos to those who tell all and don't let it get to them :-)

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[stevencornell69 107]

I'm flat out lying. Hypnosis and acupuncture that's my story. I don't need everyone giving me crap about surgery, saying I should have "tried harder" etc. screw them. I'm down 52 lbs in 10 weeks. Believe me they notice.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AnnaBanana.NZ 36]

I'm telling people I am having laproscopic surgery for GERD. I don't want the drama

[Kindle 8,667]

I don't post it on social media or anything, but whenever anyone asked how I was losing weight, I told them I had surgery and eat a high protein/low carb diet. I usually had to explain VSG because most people only know about lapband and bypass. But I'd answer any questions they had and then move on. Since I see dozens of clients/day, I've had this WLS conversation a couple hundred times. I am not ashamed of my surgery and have gotten nothing but support and well wishes. Three people have actually had WLS after seeing and hearing about my success. The fact is I did not lose weight through "diet and excercise", I lost it because I had 85% of my stomach removed. I just would not have felt comfortable lying to everyone I know. But that's just me.

[Dub 10,019]

@@Kindle that is very similar to my approach to telling folks.

I'd targeted losing almost half my bodyweight. There was no cover story that I cared to use to explain it. Telling them that I'd had VSG surgery and following the low-carb way of eating has been what I've shared when asked.

I work in a manufacturing plant with 2,000+ employees. This conversation comes up almost every day.

Some of the questions, I've found, are from folks considering the surgery for themselves or family members. Always fun to speak with them and answer anything they ask in a direct and no bs way.

[Sugarnspice 150]

I've told my husband, brother & cousin which is like my sister, don't plan on telling anyone else. I will

Be telling my job I'm having hernia surgery which is not really a lie.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I plan on being more open once the surgery is over. I don't want to hear or have anyone's negative vibes.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[PayItForward 207]

I tell the truth to anyone that asks me. I guess I have been fortunate. I've only had positive comments.

[Read2016 658]

I think pre op/ post op there's a lot going in the mind... I can relate to be guarded with whom you share it... It's normal to have a wide variety of feelings and even second guessing, we don't need outside influences adding fuel to that fire... I feel you can say your having surgery for female issues, very few want to discuss that any further lol... Later down the road when your success starts to show you can give more info... For me, my logical mind knows this is going to result in weight loss as it has for everyone else but having been obese for so long and tried so many think I have a slight hint of self doubt... I would not want to put it on blast until I see it working... I just think people's mouth can be the worst weapon and often times better not to hear them...

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

[Tara1992 79]

Wow, all these replies have been so helpful. Now I see it is ok to do what I feel comfortable with and I'm not alone! I was considering telling people who insisted on knowing that I'm getting my cysts removed (from the pcos). I definitely don't want people talking about it CONSTANTLY to me. I my mom works with a sleeved guy and they talk about it every times they work together, I never thought about how that might be annoying him. Maybe, maybe not. I'm annoyed because I am a vegetarian and I made a huge mistake by telling the two men I work with, and somehow it becomes the center for jokes and discussion everyday... I don't even participate that's the annoying part, but I wanna say SHUT UP WHO CARES IT'S MY LIFE, but of course i don't!

Thank you all

Edited June 8, 2016 by taraisthebest

[Jenjen2016 32]

Yes, my husband and parents are the only ones that know. I feel like others will only judge me because I'm not loosing it on my own. A lot of people have said this was the easy way out.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[hazelzay 75]

I told only my immediate family like grandparents and three cousins and my parents obviously know. And my close friends .