Is your surgery a secret?

[Guest sydneyjonno]

Now I'm wondering what I'm going to tell people whilst out for dinner socially!!

I can always say I'm not feeling very hungry and am trying to lose weight and have a drink whilst others have an entree. And can always make an excuse not to have a dessert. But not sure what to say about the main course. I was thinking of choosing a Soup if there is one or something really soft. Or maybe getting an entree served for main.

But I won't be able to eat all of the entree and won't be able to drink for half an hour after it. Usually we all order at least 3 courses and the wine flows all evening!!!

And my friends are all pretty skinny and don't gain weight despite us all pigging out quite often. Only me lol.

Hmm something to think about!!!

I'm a bit of a foodie and years ago started a 'fine dining club' with my friends where we got to posh restaurants every now and then and have degustations / gastronomical feasts!!

Wish I hadn't now lol!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited June 8, 2016 by sydneyjonno

[Jessica Singleton 9]

i told everyone, but that is just my personality. I respond to stress by oversharing and refusing to shut up about it! I have a two-week pre-op diet and my goal is to not make every conversation about Protein shakes! There is not any one way to respond, every person needs different things.

I'm lucky cause I work with a lot of nurses and they are mostly currious about the medical stuff whithout much judging. Sounds like your co-workers need a lesson boundries. Maybe find a good comeback for the jokes?

Edited June 8, 2016 by Jessica Singleton

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Now I'm wondering what I'm going to tell people whilst out for dinner socially!!

I can always say I'm not feeling very hungry and am trying to lose weight and have a drink whilst others have an entree. And can always make an excuse not to have a dessert. But not sure what to say about the main course. I was thinking of choosing a Soup if there is one or something really soft. Or maybe getting an entree served for main.

But I won't be able to eat all of the entree and won't be able to drink for half an hour after it. Usually we all order at least 3 courses and the wine flows all evening!!!

And my friends are all pretty skinny and don't gain weight despite us all pigging out quite often. Only me lol.

Hmm something to think about!!!

I'm a bit of a foodie and years ago started a 'fine dining club' with my friends where we got to posh restaurants every now and then and have degustations / gastronomical feasts!!

Wish I hadn't now lol!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Don't apologize.

Just order what you want to order.

If anyone asks, just say you aren't very hungry, or that this is what you want to eat.

If someone tries to push food, just say "no, thank you." Or, "it looks delicious, but no, thank you. I am fine with what I have."

One of the gifts of WLS is a chance to practice being assertive.

[Guest sydneyjonno]

It's not the jokes, no one has made any jokes about it. It's just the constant questions and judging. I don't want reminding about it all the time. I like to talk about work at work (well sometimes!!) not my surgery or diet at every tea break. At social events, I like to talk to my friends about what they've been doing, holiday plans and so on, not my surgery or diet. I just want it to be normal for me to eat a bit less and lose a bit of weight without the Spanish Inquisition every time I eat or drink something. It irritates me more than anything.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[LipstickLady 25,682]

It's not a secret, it's simply no one's business but my own.

And no, that does not make me a liar. (My absolute favorite comment from people who choose to share differently.)

[Valentina 2,642]

Now that I "walk in the sunlight", I tell anyone who wants to ask--the WLS facts.

My memory isn't good enough to remember what story I told to whom. It's much easier to just tell the facts--simple and to the point. In the truth, facts never change. That is much easier to remember.

[asiffert1124 2]

I told everyone lol! I was so excited i got approved! I didnt tell anybody about it until i got approved and once i did i was so excited i told everyone i work in a surgery department so i had to take off a 3wks but everyone has been so supportive its unreal i thought i would have gotten bad feed back but not one yet and i post op 2months

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I simply tell people I eat less (truth), move more (truth) and follow a low carb diet (truth). No "stories" to remember, simple and to the point, and 100% factual.

No shame in my game. (That's usually the next thing "tellers" start throwing out there.)

(Oh. And no, it's not my duty to educate other fatties on the joys of WLS. That will be after the shame part.)

[Christinamo7 4,041]

I don't tell everyone I know all the details of my life............ but no, my WLS is not a secret. If someone is negative I'd rather know it up front. Nothing anyone says about the surgery can compare with what people have said to me about my son who has a disability so I am pretty immune to it at this point in life.

Now that I "walk in the sunlight", I tell anyone who wants to ask--the WLS facts.

My memory isn't good enough to remember what story I told to whom. It's much easier to just tell the facts--simple and to the point. In the truth, facts never change. That is much easier to remember.

we might be kindred spirits

[Christinamo7 4,041]

Now I'm wondering what I'm going to tell people whilst out for dinner socially!!

I can always say I'm not feeling very hungry and am trying to lose weight and have a drink whilst others have an entree. And can always make an excuse not to have a dessert. But not sure what to say about the main course. I was thinking of choosing a Soup if there is one or something really soft. Or maybe getting an entree served for main.

But I won't be able to eat all of the entree and won't be able to drink for half an hour after it. Usually we all order at least 3 courses and the wine flows all evening!!!

And my friends are all pretty skinny and don't gain weight despite us all pigging out quite often. Only me lol.

Hmm something to think about!!!

I'm a bit of a foodie and years ago started a 'fine dining club' with my friends where we got to posh restaurants every now and then and have degustations / gastronomical feasts!!

Wish I hadn't now lol!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

my youngest daughter is thin, always has been. she is a real foodie, a food snob - you know in Ratatouille when the critic says if he doesn't love food, he spits it out? that is her. she doesn't justify her food decisions to anyone, not even me! if she is not hungry she doesn't eat. when she eats she eats food that is good tasting to her. I am trying to watch how she does and learn a thing or two from my baby.

[Clementine Sky 707]

It's not a secret, but it is private. My husband, parents, and physicians are the only ones who know because they're the only ones I feel need to know, and they provide me with all the support I need.

[Christinamo7 4,041]

I simply tell people I eat less (truth), move more (truth) and follow a low carb diet (truth). No "stories" to remember, simple and to the point, and 100% factual.

No shame in my game. (That's usually the next thing "tellers" start throwing out there.)

(Oh. And no, it's not my duty to educate other fatties on the joys of WLS. That will be after the shame part.)

you know what, I tell anyone just about anything - and that does not mean I care a fig about what you do or do not tell anyone else.

The thing is, my WLS likely saved my life. and I am grateful. I don't feel I have a "duty" to share it with others - but if I can do someone a good turn who may be interested, so be it. what's the point in going through garbage in my life if I can't use it to help someone else out?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

you know what, I tell anyone just about anything - and that does not mean I care a fig about what you do or do not tell anyone else.

I simply tell people I eat less (truth), move more (truth) and follow a low carb diet (truth). No "stories" to remember, simple and to the point, and 100% factual.

No shame in my game. (That's usually the next thing "tellers" start throwing out there.)

(Oh. And no, it's not my duty to educate other fatties on the joys of WLS. That will be after the shame part.)

The thing is, my WLS likely saved my life. and I am grateful. I don't feel I have a "duty" to share it with others - but if I can do someone a good turn who may be interested, so be it. what's the point in going through garbage in my life if I can't use it to help someone else out?

I love that some people choose to share! No doubt you are doing a great service to some people who may need the enlightenment. I applaud your efforts, sincerely.

That said, after four years of many reincarnations of this thread, I am prepped and ready to hear how I am a liar, how I am ashamed of WLS, how it's my **duty** to educate others, etc.

Not all sharers do the above, but I can already see it rearing it's lovely head. Just putting it all on fast forward. I'd hate for someone who is unsure about the whole decision to share/not share feel "shamed" (popular word on this site) to do so if they are not comfortable with it. You can always share later, you can never unshare.

[Valentina 2,642]

you know what, I tell anyone just about anything - and that does not mean I care a fig about what you do or do not tell anyone else.

I simply tell people I eat less (truth), move more (truth) and follow a low carb diet (truth). No "stories" to remember, simple and to the point, and 100% factual.

No shame in my game. (That's usually the next thing "tellers" start throwing out there.)

(Oh. And no, it's not my duty to educate other fatties on the joys of WLS. That will be after the shame part.)

The thing is, my WLS likely saved my life. and I am grateful. I don't feel I have a "duty" to share it with others - but if I can do someone a good turn who may be interested, so be it. what's the point in going through garbage in my life if I can't use it to help someone else out?

Yes, I do believe that we are kindred spirits.---spirits with sparkling bubbles!

[finding_onederland 226]

So far, I have told my husband, and three good friends (one of which just recently had WLS and inspired me to consider it)

I plan on telling people (if asked) that I am having surgery for an ongoing health issue.