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I never felt like a fat girl



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For so many years I would catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and have to catch my breath, because I did not recognize myself. But now down 60 lbs I see the girl in the mirror and she is me

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@@hpa omg right? like i knew i was overweight but i never saw myself as "THAT fat" and then i'd get caught in the background of a photo and be like OMG. but now i kinda have the same problem. I don't see myself as NOT fat yet. so i feel basically the same (fat) unless i see myself in a mirror or a photo. smh. #mindissues

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This was totally me. I only saw myself as fat when I caught a glimpse of myself in a shop window unexpectedly, or if I was in the FRONT row of a group photo. Otherwise, I just thought I was kinda chunky.

When I hit goal, I would walk through the stores looking at different women and ask my kids, "Is my butt as big as hers? As small as hers? Am I fatter than her? Am I about her size?". Once I went so far as to stand next to a random stranger at Target, pretending to look for something on the shelf. I made my kids take a picture of us because she was the size I wanted to be and I wanted to see how close I was.

Talk about creeper!

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This was totally me. I only saw myself as fat when I caught a glimpse of myself in a shop window unexpectedly, or if I was in the FRONT row of a group photo. Otherwise, I just thought I was kinda chunky.

When I hit goal, I would walk through the stores looking at different women and ask my kids, "Is my butt as big as hers? As small as hers? Am I fatter than her? Am I about her size?". Once I went so far as to stand next to a random stranger at Target, pretending to look for something on the shelf. I made my kids take a picture of us because she was the size I wanted to be and I wanted to see how close I was.

Talk about creeper!

Lol that is so something I would do! Too funny.

Yeah I am forever trying to compare my size to others because from my all time heaviest weight till now I have lost like 177 pounds (122 since surgery) and I still don't see it unless I look at comparison pictures or look at myself in a reflection next to someone else.

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So Lipstick Lady, were you as small as her? And that is a great idea, btw.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Yeah I never felt fat, it was only when I looked at myself that I realized my size, kinda. LOL

Now I look like how I feel. And I can physically do all the things I wanted to do before but were too hard wen I was heavier.

I have a hard time gauging my size compared to other people. Mainly because of how I am shaped now. Even though I still have some gut, I am very curvy because my boobs are huge, and my waist is small. Looking at me dead on I look small, but I my side view is different. Plus my fat is all squishy, so if I wear Shapewear I can drop at least a size.

At least I don't feel fat like a lot a people do even after they lost weight, because I never felt fat when I should have.

It is a crazy head trip.

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I really should have done before pics so I could do after ones but I've been so camera shy for so long, I couldn't make myself do it.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Before pictures help me so much, I took pictures every even fat, so I have lots of pictures to look at it. It helps me on days that I feel like ugh, not losing fast enough. I can see where I came from.

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I never felt like a fat girl, either. After all, I was fairly active and "only" 235 pounds.

Then I see all my before pictures....oy vey! I swear our brains do that to us as some kind of coping mechanism.

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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