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At what point does the obsession stop?



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This is what I started doing so I could feel like I am eating more. I have a "huge" salad in the afternoon. 2 cups of salad seems massive, but its a slider. I use calorie free dressing and barely any cheese. The whole thing is 35 calories usually.

148 pounds in less than a year is a lot. Your body might need to rest. I'm not sure you should be so concerned about not losing weight as long as you are eating on plan, even if you are eating 1000 calories a day.

If you really think you are getting out of control with food, you could try a couple days of liquids and see if that helps break you out of it.

I eat salad every day, lol. I have done so for like 20 years. I think you might be right. My body is like ok give me a minute to figure out what's going on. I'm not close to goal, but I have made significant progress. I suppose if it takes me another year to get to goal, that's ok. I just don't want this to be the end of the road for me. Like who has wls and stays 300 pounds after the fact?? No go!! And then I think of the financial sacrifice it was/is. I at least need to get under 250.... maybe I'm stressing too much.

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@TheRealMeIsHere! @@Kindle @Inner Surfer Girl I eat a low carb/ketogenic diet. I am sugar free and grain free. I always get at least 80 grams of Protein - no matter what. I don't usually snack or I may have one snack per day. I log my foods daily so I can keep up with what was "working". I've stayed closer to 900 calories since around the 3 month mark as I could never get myself much lower (probably due to fat intake, but you need fat if you don't eat carbs) It was working for the first 140+ pounds, so quite naturally my thought is that I needed to go down. Not sure. Keep in mind that I exercise for about 45 minutes to an hour 4 days a week. I also only eat between 10am and 7pm. Here's my macros for a typical day:

attachicon.gif macros.JPG

800 calories is really unsustainable over the long term in my opinion. For me, I need to eat more than that to keep my metabolism burning. Why not try adding some calories? Extra Protein, complex carbs, and/or some healthy fats.

Trying to go lower and lower in calories will only slow down your metabolism.

What does your NUT suggest?

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@@her1981 Have you tried going up a little on your calories - you actually may not be getting enough. You're doing great so far - so congrats!

@@KristenLe I did. And I gained 5 in about 3-4 days. (I weighed daily to see) That was 2 weeks ago. So since then I went back down in calories and I'm just holding. I'm trying to replace a few meals with shakes to see if it helps. I probably just need to give the scale a break.

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@@Inner Surfer Girl It's definitely unsustainable. I'm consistently around 950 most days. At my 9 month check up, they told me to stay at 800 calories, which at this point isn't happening. I wonder about my level of metabolic impairment.

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@@her1981 Have you tried going up a little on your calories - you actually may not be getting enough. You're doing great so far - so congrats!

@@KristenLe I did. And I gained 5 in about 3-4 days. (I weighed daily to see) That was 2 weeks ago. So since then I went back down in calories and I'm just holding. I'm trying to replace a few meals with shakes to see if it helps. I probably just need to give the scale a break.

You may need to stay off the scale for a while. Increasing your calories by a couple of hundred calories is not going to result in 5 pounds of fat regain overnight. It was probably your body retaining Water or something. There is no direct relationship between what you eat one day and the numbers on the scale the next day. Our bodies are complex systems and not simple machines.

Frankly, it sounds to me like you are trying to "control" your body rather than work with your body.

Do you have a counselor or therapist you can talk to?

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Oops. I see where you are looking for a therapist. I think you would really benefit from talking with someone.

Also, I recommend the book "Eat it Up" by Connie Stapleton.

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@@Inner Surfer Girl I am definitely trying to control it. I have a type A personality with a need for control. I have struggled with control issues my whole life. My weight is a reminder of my lack of self control in that area, but that was a result of my mother controlling my intake while growing up. I started sneaking food when I was 5 or 6. I remember wedging myself between the washer and dryer with a bag of chips. (that was the first time and I can't believe I remember that!) When I was finally on my own, I thought "finally, I can eat whatever I want and not hide it!". But obviously I wasn't "hiding" it. What you eat in secret you wear in public. I surprised myself when I sought out wls, but I knew I needed help. I needed to save me from myself, you know?

Anyway, the struggle with control continues.

I'm going to check out that book. Thanks. :-)

Edited by her1981

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@@Inner Surfer Girl I am definitely trying to control it. I have a type A personality with a need for control. I have struggled with control issues my whole life. My weight is a reminder of my lack of self control in that area, but that was a result of my mother controlling my intake while growing up. I started sneaking food when I was 5 or 6. I remember wedging myself between the washer and dryer with a bag of chips. (that was the first time and I can't believe I remember that!) When I was finally on my own, I thought "finally, I can eat whatever I want and not hide it!". But obviously I wasn't "hiding" it. What you eat in secret you wear in public. I surprised myself when I sought out wls, but I knew I needed help. I needed to save me from myself, you know?

Anyway, the struggle with control continues.

I'm going to check out that book. Thanks. :-)

You may also want to consider attending some OA meetings (OA.org). It is a great program for helping recover from food obsession and other eating issues.

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@@Inner Surfer Girl I really hated OA. Maybe I need to find a different meeting. The one I went to was too huggy, lol

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@@her1981

Starting out close to 400 pounds myself, I had to accept that this might be a 2 year process instead of one year like a lot of people.

I wanted to be a lot closer to 200 pounds at this point, and it is annoying to accept that I am not and probably won't be by my anniversary.

The one thing that comforts me is that I am already smaller at this weight, than I thought I would be at 200 pounds.

My health is improved to the point of being completely normal and I can wear regular sizes and shop anywhere. Those were the original goals and they are already achieved. The rest is just cushion so I can put as much distance between me and 300 pounds as possible.

I'm not gaining. I'm not starving. I am not deprived. I am eating far below my BMR. I know I will lose weight. I am just losing it a normal persons pace now and not at a super morbidly obese persons pace, and I have to be okay with that. Stressing about it is counter productive.

I would never go to an OA meeting. Just reading the original book was enough for me. It put food and how to deal with it in perspective and reading other peoples stories helped. Outside of the WLS sphere, hearing how people deal with head hunger, really helped. I'm a foodie and I love food. My coping mechanism is cooking. I realize I enjoy the activity of preparing food more than eating it.

Edited by OutsideMatchInside

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@@Inner Surfer Girl I really hated OA. Maybe I need to find a different meeting. The one I went to was too huggy, lol

"Too huggy?" There is no such thing!

You can always decline hugs, but why would you want to?

Hugs are some of the best things in life!

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LOL I don't really like hugs from strangers... I'm weird like that.

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@her1981...I see you live in the Chicago area. Where did you get your VSG done?

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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