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Life after being banded. What's dinner with friends like?



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I know this sounds crazy but... What is it going to be like after my surgery when all my friends are getting together for dinner and drinks and invite me and I can barely eat? I start my pre-op diet on 8/23/07, my surgery is 9/4. For example, the guy I have been seeing for a long while now and his parents are wanting to meet my parents. Well they want to do it this weekend over dinner before my pre-op stuff starts. I feel like that because of what I'm doing, the people around me are changing too. In one sense I can see why they don't want us all to go to dinner and me just sit there and drink a Protein Shake.

Another thing, have you banders just came out and told people what you did so that when they saw you eating only 1/2 cup or so of food they understood why? I'm just being paranoid I guess. Just curious.

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When I start mushies we went to a resturant and they had mashed potatoes as a side. I ordered that, it was hugh and had cheese, sour cream and bacon bits. I couldn't eat the bacon, but I did put a little sour cream and cheese. No one looked at me funny or said anything. You'll fine lots of thing you can eat once your on solids with out having to explain. Really you don't owe anyone and explaination.

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because I was told I would be on liquids only for the first week after surgery... in addition I was using it as an example...

Oh, I was going by the following:

Well they want to do it this weekend over dinner before my pre-op stuff starts. I feel like that because of what I'm doing, the people around me are changing too. In one sense I can see why they don't want us all to go to dinner and me just sit there and drink a Protein shake.

If it is before your pre op stuff I wouldn't be drinking a Protein Shake at dinner with my boyfriend's parents. During the week of post op if you feel like going out to dinner just order Soup and eat the broth.

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I was on mushy/soft diet weeks 2-5 after my surgery. First week was all liquid and I did not go out, not that I felt like it anyhow. While on mushies, I would order mashed potatoes, grilled chicken (chewed very well) or whatever Soup they had that I liked. Once i graduated to regular foods, I was able to go out more with my friends & family. They have pretty much gotten used to my new eating habits- what I can or cannot have, no drinking while eating (although I will sip from time to time), chew well and that I now eat at a slower pace than them. At first, I was kinda hesitant because I thought I would feel out of place but they have been very supportive and understanding. But I have learned which restaurants have a variety of things that I like and that I can eat. Now, I have no problems. I usually ask for a to go box early on in the meal and put some of my food in it that way I kinda have a headstart and I'm not sitting at table with a plate of food that is not disappearing like theirs. My friends still tempt me from time to time with ordering Desserts but they are getting better. I think I have actually helped some of them to evaluate their eating habits.

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I think I have actually helped some of them to evaluate their eating habits.

I bet this is happening all over the place. Most restaurant meals are "two meals on a plate" yanno? Who really needs that much food? Plus the bread and dessert and drinks...

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It seems like you wouldn't want to go out during the first week after surgery from what I've been reading! Definitely go out B4! Hurry up and meet those parents! :D

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I know this sounds crazy but... What is it going to be like after my surgery when all my friends are getting together for dinner and drinks and invite me and I can barely eat? I start my pre-op diet on 8/23/07, my surgery is 9/4. For example, the guy I have been seeing for a long while now and his parents are wanting to meet my parents. Well they want to do it this weekend over dinner before my pre-op stuff starts. I feel like that because of what I'm doing, the people around me are changing too. In one sense I can see why they don't want us all to go to dinner and me just sit there and drink a Protein shake.

Another thing, have you banders just came out and told people what you did so that when they saw you eating only 1/2 cup or so of food they understood why? I'm just being paranoid I guess. Just curious.

I chose to just tell people.....because let's face it I can't hide the fact I'm overweight!!!!! But there has been some times that the people I was eating with did not know....didn't ask....didn't seem to notice! Even before this surgery it was routine for me and my husband or me and a friend to split a meal anyways!......also what's wrong if telling them you're trying to lose weight...if you don't want to tell them about surgery!

Eating out has been the most exciting thing for me after surgery because before surgery when I was trying desperately to lose weight I would avoid it afraid that I would overeat or make the wrong choices. Now I can eat anywhere......and NOT overeat....I can't!!!! YAY!:clap2:

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I think if you don't make a big deal about it people will not notice. If you don't want to tell them about your surgery and they say something, just make up an excuse. Tell them that you ate earlier or that your stomach isn't quite right. Try to relax and enjoy your band. You will do fine!!!!!

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Tell them that you are on a new diet, one which seems to have worked for some women you have met. And you figure that you are going to give it a shot.:car:

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Most restaurant meals are "two meals on a plate" yanno? Who really needs that much food?

The food industry bases their portion sizes on the average diner -- get this! -- a 35 y/o WORKING man. (As in laborer, not white collar.) Do you have any idea how many calories that dude burns in a day??

No wonder the rest of us with metabolisms as unique as snowflakes are not staying trim eating along side "Buddy" and "Hank" at the diner!!

LOL

My husband and I did WW together several years ago -- He lost 42 and made lifetime and I lost 50. Then we got less vigilant and over the next 5 years I put all of mine back on and he has put on, taken off and put on the same 15-20lbs. But one habit that sticks is we split 75-80% of the meals when we dine out.

  • It's cheaper.
  • You can enjoy your bread or chips without worrying about 'wasting' your food later -- (he worried about that more than "I" did,:rolleyes but then he didn't grow up in the "Clean-your-plate-before-you-leave-the-table!" house like I did.)
  • It's a LOT cheaper, so you can eat out MORE often!
  • You always leave content, and without that awful "I-can't-believe-I-ate-the-whole-thing!" feeling.
  • Did I mention it's CHEAPER??

Of course, one reason it works well for us is we like a lot of the same things. But my girls are pretty good at it, and if I'm not dining with him, I'm usually dining with one of them.

And no one bats an eye at it -- altho', I must make one suggestion. Please be extra considerate of your server. Even though the total might be $19.99 instead of $39.99 -- they did serve TWO of you so don't base your tip on your total alone.

You've still saved a bundle and have the added benefit of making yourself much healthier -- and possibly your spouse/partner/friend in the process -- so spread the joy :whoo: and overtip the guy or gal who's workin' for a living.

Nana<----benevolent friend of waiters everywhere. :hungry:

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348 on postal scale 7/31/07

344 on postal scale 8/7/07

340 on postal scale 8/16/07

9/19/07 scheduled surgery date-Dr. Montgomery NWWLS

Darr...

WOW! Your weight loss so far is great and especially considering the fact that you don't even have a band yet!

Congrats to you!

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And doggie bags are wonderful. They mean mo' meals with less work. :car: Love that microwave. :D

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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