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Did you tell people you were considering weight loss surgery?

kembfly

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kembfly    15

kembfly
Posted

I know this question probably has been asked. How did you tell people, did you tell? I've been very private thus far. I'm not planning on telling my coworkers, I'll probably use vacation time if I am approved for surgery. I haven't even told my boyfriend. He's very encouraging when it comes to me losing weight however, I am nervous to tell him my decision. I just don't want the negatively from anyone! I feel like I'm making the best decision that's going to benefit me.

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tonyasmalls    1

tonyasmalls
Posted

I am hoping to hide it from everyone. Let's see if it works. In my family we cook and eat for anything. Celebration or not. But I think I'm a bit of a binge and emottional eater, so it will be good to say no . I have been having other health problems so I'm going to blame the quick weight loss on that

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Marissela    49

Marissela
Posted

On the opposite side.I have told everyone and I'm glad I don't care what people say...I just polity tell them it's my decision and it's my body....if is hard to find some supporters and I did find one person who supports me highly (my sister) she is even thinking of the surgery for herself too. I'm OK with hearing people's opinions but I won't tolerate negativity, it's already hard to deal with our own emotions with the surgery but you do what best for you. Think positive and stay away from the negativity. I wish you the best of luck. I'm scheduled to get my surgery on May 31....good luck to us all

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Bufflehead    6,358

Bufflehead
Posted

When I was just considering it? No, I didn't tell anyone. When I had decided on it, been approved, and had a surgery date scheduled, I told my family and closest friends. Most of the people at work (other than those I consider close friends) I just told I was having surgery and would be back in two weeks. No one had the gumption to ask me what kind of surgery!

Over the years I've gotten pretty good at listening to people's input and then doing whatever the hell I want. I think it helps that I'm a gay atheist in the Bible Belt. If I listened to other people's judgment about my life and decisions I'd probably be miserable and suicidal by now.

I did tell almost everyone who asked after the surgery ("how are you losing weight?" or "did you have weight loss surgery?") the truth and the whole truth. I figured if I am in a position to help erase the stigma against, and myths about, weight loss surgery, I should do it. I know other people are not in the same position I am in and I don't judge anyone for the choices they make about what to tell other people. I would say, it's probably a bad idea to outright lie about it ("no, I didn't have weight loss surgery" "I'm having my gall bladder taken out and will be back in two weeks") -- those lies have a way of being found out, and that makes you look dishonest and untrustworthy -- something no one wants in either a friend or an employee/co-worker.

ETA I got no negative responses or feedback when I told people I had surgery. And two people were really interested, followed up, and ended up also getting surgery and are doing really well.

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JupiterinVirgo    846

JupiterinVirgo
Posted

When I first came to knowing that I needed to have the surgery, that I wanted the surgery, that the surgery was going to be the best thing for me, the first thing I did was go to the people closest to me and ask them for their support. This included a couple of close family members, a couple of close friends, and a couple of professional people with whom I had a well-established repoire. A couple of these people had concerns, but because they love me they heard me out. They bore witness to my reasoning, and had already born witness to my struggle over time. It did not take long to get all of them on my side, most of them were on my side from the minute I asked for their support. In the time leading up to surgery, there was a lot of preparation. Psychological and emotional, spiritual and physical. So other than the people who are closest to me I kept my cards close to my chest because I was not interested in the opinions of people who did not love me, and I am very protective of my sacred tender space. There is a rawness and a vulnerability that we experience when we finally admit the depth of our problem, and find the courage to take right action and address it. Just remember, your body your decision.

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Kwilliams03    16

Kwilliams03
Posted (edited)

I still haven't told my co-workers and don't plan on it until I'm scheduled to leave for a few weeks. Its none of their business what I'm doing. I'm a very straight forward person but private at the same time especially when it comes to my personal issues and health.

Edited by Kwilliams03

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Kwilliams03    16

Kwilliams03
Posted

I still haven't told my co-workers and don't plan on it until I'm scheduled to leave for a few weeks. Its none of their business what I'm doing. I'm a very straight forward person but private at the same time especially when it comes to my personal issues and health.

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BreannaW    50

BreannaW
Posted

I have told a select few people. My mom, husband, my children a very select few coworkers, and both of my bosses. All are very encouraging for the most part. They all have asked many questions (how do I feel, what made me decide on the surgery, what does it consist of, how long will I be out of work, ect)... I love knowing I have support everywhere so that I am not alone and don't have to keep this a secret. My husband has been truly supportive and positive about the whole process. He wants to be there for all my appointments and take the days off when I am off. It's been a wonderful experience having them by my side.

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kembfly    15

kembfly
Posted

I still haven't told my co-workers and don't plan on it until I'm scheduled to leave for a few weeks. Its none of their business what I'm doing. I'm a very straight forward person but private at the same time especially when it comes to my personal issues and health.

A coworker had Gastric bypass a few years back, she shared her story with everyone l and I saw how they judge her. Some of my coworkers don't care about boundaries. My business won't be their business! I too am private. I'm glad other understand as well.

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kembfly    15

kembfly
Posted

I have told a select few people. My mom, husband, my children a very select few coworkers, and both of my bosses. All are very encouraging for the most part. They all have asked many questions (how do I feel, what made me decide on the surgery, what does it consist of, how long will I be out of work, ect)... I love knowing I have support everywhere so that I am not alone and don't have to keep this a secret. My husband has been truly supportive and positive about the whole process. He wants to be there for all my appointments and take the days off when I am off. It's been a wonderful experience having them by my side.

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So far I've only told my sister. Not sure when I will tell my boyfriend. I have to see what his mindset is first. You have a wonderful husband!

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kembfly    15

kembfly
Posted

On the opposite side.I have told everyone and I'm glad I don't care what people say...I just polity tell them it's my decision and it's my body....if is hard to find some supporters and I did find one person who supports me highly (my sister) she is even thinking of the surgery for herself too. I'm OK with hearing people's opinions but I won't tolerate negativity, it's already hard to deal with our own emotions with the surgery but you do what best for you. Think positive and stay away from the negativity. I wish you the best of luck. I'm scheduled to get my surgery on May 31....good luck to us all

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Thank you! My sister is my support system as well. I wouldn't know what I would do without her. Good luck!

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Marissela    49

Marissela
Posted

On the opposite side.I have told everyone and I'm glad I don't care what people say...I just polity tell them it's my decision and it's my body....if is hard to find some supporters and I did find one person who supports me highly (my sister) she is even thinking of the surgery for herself too. I'm OK with hearing people's opinions but I won't tolerate negativity, it's already hard to deal with our own emotions with the surgery but you do what best for you. Think positive and stay away from the negativity. I wish you the best of luck. I'm scheduled to get my surgery on May 31....good luck to us all

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Thank you! My sister is my support system as well. I wouldn't know what I would do without her. Good luck!

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I love my sister I have 5 but over all these well opinionated women 2 so far are very supportive..God Bless Sisterhood

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kellyann311    1

kellyann311
Posted

I find that my family tries to be supportive but then they get upset when I start to talk about the surgery and surgery date. Idk what to think anymore. My brother is against me getting the sleeve. I my family is worried I will not enjoy food anymore...

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kembfly    15

kembfly
Posted

I have my first appointment on the 18th of July. I'm praying everything goes well and I'll be approved for the sleeve. Time will when it comes to my family. @@kellyann311 I hope by the time your surgery come they'll have a change of heart. Good luck!!!

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Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • Doughgurl

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      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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