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Counting the cost.... no, not the $$$$



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Aloha Band Friends,

I am very interested in all the comments and thought I would share a few that might be helpful. My baratric team did not stress a major pre-op diet, there was a "transition diet" which meant I had drastically modified my eating habits and started back at the gym as a requirement to prepare. I did liquids only the day before. But to address the folks with anxiety about grieving and fearing depression? I think something changes once one is banded. I got banded on the 15th, only 5 days ago and there is like this new sense of strength and commitment that has taken over me. Very different than when I was pre op dieting and preparing. I was an emotional wreck then, I would fight and sometimes cave in to binges. I would panic about liquids and think the worse...

But now that I am "post op" it is clear to take it all one step at a time, be mindful of what I am going to eat and when. I realize I am no expert but as someone with bipolar illness for many years I want to give hope to the folks struggling with the extra emotional baggage. I think this procedure lets us be free of some of our demons. I think this is going to have a stabilizing effect because it is going to center me on taking care of myself and giving control back to me as someone who simply lost control over a very basic human activity...eating!

I wish everyone the best. Hope you are keeping a journal, I just read mine, wow!

Aloha from hawaii.

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Wow! Serena I'm with you too girl! This entire thread is the best I've ever read! Serena you have my admiration for being so insightful and clear headed about your disease ...you are an inspiration to all. Everyone here - is insightful and f u n n y! I am prebanded and have all these issues. It's good to read what's been on my mind. I agree too with what someone said about being on "auto-pilot" eating wise - great way to put it...that is exactly how I've eaten for 30 or so years and worry that will really be the challenge. Sometimes I don't even notice I've put something in my month until it's already down! And well I will surely miss my "PIMP" :think, but being forced to get over it and get healthy and "sexy" is good deal.

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Castle Girl---thanks for your encouragement!!! Depression in itself is a horrible struggle, not to mention all the thoughts and worries about food. Congrats on getting your band.

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I am self pay also and totally agree. If it cost a million dollars it would be worth it if it is a permanent solution to keeping the weight off. Think of how much money we waste on diet plans. I have spent thousands of dollars on diets from the age of 8 till 30 so this is not even like a lot of money to spend compared to all of the money I spent on diets my whole life. ;)

Call Me Jim---I am a self pay like you. My husband and I are retired and I feel like I am putting a burden on our finances. When I asked him what he thought, he was all for it. So, we will just tighten our belts(I hope I will be able to soon) and get this done.

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I think of it this way, I wouldn't think twice about tossing out a couple of grand for a car, and they only last about 10 years! If you told me that the band is "self-expiring" and only works for 3 or 4 years, I might stop and think about it, but this is a permanent change for your health. Think about it this way. Would you like to have your husband have to be your caregiver if you were dibilitated with an obesity-induced disease down the road? I don't think so. This is totally the best thing you can do. I never once questioned anything about my age (soon to be 56 and proud of every white hair on my head!!!) (frankly the doctor sounding off about the "mileage" a person has left sounds like a complete asshole...pardon my French...that is an abhorrant thing to say. If you were 75 maybe....but in your 50's? Get outta here!). Matter of fact, Claramae, I sailed through my surgery and recovery with half to NONE of the complaints I heard from people less than half my age (maybe young folks just whine a lot...what do you think? *wink*), and I bounced back like a million dollars and I feel like I am 20 now.

This is good to hear. I'm scheduled for Oct 10th, and I've started thinking about my age (67) and wondering if that's just too old. But I'd like to have that extra 7 years they keep talking about, and I'm dealing with Diabetes, Fibromyalgia and arthritic hips and knees. Seems like losing 100 pounds would make life a lot easier.

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To address the "emotional grieving"...I too thought long and hard about it, and was fearful I would wake up afterwards and go "OH no, I miss everything too much! I don't want to be this way! I miss my food!" You know....I actually have not missed anything at all. You think you are missing the food but you are NOT. You are missing the QUANITY of food. I thought I would miss being able to STUFF half a hamberger in my mouth....the emotional satisfaction one gets from CRAMMING food in their face (doesn't that sound AWFUL!). But I don't....not at ALL. I can HAVE that hamburger....just less of it and slower and it is NOT deprivation because my body shuts me off when it is time to quit. I don't feel deprived at all. This was an instantaneous feeling after the banding. I am three months out now and very comfortable with my eating habits, and they seem very natural to me now. It never really was a struggle (except for my time in Band Hell for about 3 weeks).

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Kacee great read It was good for me to read your post. Wonderful results you are getting as well. It was good to actually see in writing what I am actually afraid I am going to miss. You are right I am afraid I will miss stuffing food into my face ...crazy thanks for the reality check!

Best to you,

MJ

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Sierra1411 I am 62 and have never been sorry that I am banded - I have been banded just over a month and am so happy with it.

As for the best thing - the 24# loss is great - more confidence, look better, feel better, etc.

As the worst thing - - I live in a small town and I feel people expect me to be loosing faster but I tell them - it may take me up to 2 years to get to my goal. It is NOT a fast weight loss but it is steady :confused:

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Sooverit,

I just now read your post of 8/21 where you praised me for being clear-headed about my disease. Thank you so much for the response. I had just about given up LBT because I would sometimes self-disclose (I'm actually a very private person) and put in a lot of effort when replying to a post and it would never be acknowledged. In fact my posts even in the June 2007 support thread are universally ignored. I have felt very foolish. Your kindness means a great deal to me!

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"I feel I will grieve the loss of my overeating and I will either A) Eat bad stuff and sabotage myself or :) Become a severely depressed skinny person."

Better to grieve the loss of food then have your loved one's grieve your loss! With the band, you know that your food habits are "terminally ill", so you can prepare for the grieving now. Accept the loss and open yourself to the new experience of living. The band is not a golden bullet. It doesn't do all the work. But it helps level the playing field of losing weight. You mind is the strongest weapon, and you have the capacity to contol it. Depression is much easier to manage with exercise, helaty living and meds if necesary. And if all that doesn't work, you will at least be a damn good looking severely depressed skinny person!

Food is a Siren: She will love us unconditionally, comfort us, make us feel better, never judges us, and is there 24/7. All she asks in return is our health, vitality, self-esteem, submissiveness, will, and money.

Sounds more like a Pimp to me! Don't be food's Ho!

To me it's sort of incomprehensible that someone could be fit, look great and be depressed. I suppose it's POSSIBLE.... but I know that losing well in excess of 200 pounds has eliminated depression from my life entirely.

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Dear Serena:

I think I may have figured out the problem about being "univerally ignored" :rolleyes::girl_hug: Geez I feel that way sometimes in real life! :P When I originally responded to your post I went directly to your hyperlinked name to respond to your private e-mail...being that the post was a topic on the private side. When I clicked on your name you did not have an e-mail addressed linked to it. Do you need help in setting this up? ...I can help you with this if you want. I think people saw you had no e-mail link and possibly didn't think you wanted responses just to post? Just a thought. Your posts are way too good to be ignored ...I found yours to be one of the most insightly and helpful to me I've ever read. Keep posting great posts ....it will come back to you....Your a gift to all!

:girl_hug:MJ PS Love your name - I almost named my daughter Serena Grace!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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