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So many factors apply with this.
The marriage wasn't healthy anyway - at least not to both parties
Someone had a jealousy issue flare up
Someone wanted to sow their wild oats now that they were getting attention
Etc etc

If your marriage is committed and strong. If your honest and faithful. If you both CHOOSE to make it work, it'll work.

My husband told me the day I came home from surgery that he only hoped I wouldn't become "stick thin". He's really not attracted to thin girls who have thigh gaps. I told him I would continue to lose weight as long as it was healthy and of course we would keep communicating once I reached a goal we both agreed on, to see if we wanted me to lose more. We are a team and that's how we make the best couple for us. We agree and compromise. Then we reassess.


HW: 328 (02/21/17)
SW: 271 (05/24/17)
CW:

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It's awesome that you have found your voice! I found mine when turning 40. I had always tried my best to keep others happy to my detriment. Good luck in your new journey!
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I'm giving myself this sleeve surgery as a 40th b'day gift so I feel a certain sense of kinship with you! As for how this will effect my relationship with hubby; I'm not worried. I share everything with him and he's been very supportive thus far.


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We are a team and that's how we make the best couple for us. We agree and compromise.

That's key I think!


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I can see how this can happen. My neighbor had GBP while her marriage was in trouble. After the weight came off she partied and drank herself into a alcohol problems. Her husband stuck by her through it all and with therapy they are back to a happy place. She regrets her reaction to her success and is more thankful that at least one of them remained committed through the process.

I believe my marriage to be strong and very committed. But quite frankly it's important to stay diligent through this process.


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I am 9 months post op and going through a dicorce. We would have been married for 10 years in September. After having surgery and loosing weight I gained some self confidence and my eyes were suddenly open to how emotionally abusive he was and to all the classic warning signs that he was cheating.


So sorry about your divorce, but happy that you will soon be open to a healthy, loving relationship with a man who deserves you!


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On 5/6/2016 at 7:07 PM, onehappychick said:

I am curious about the demise of marriages after WLS. I know as your body changes your mind does as well. I've read the statistics but would like to hear from my fellow sleevers.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

You have to be careful about what you read on the internet, this forum included. The internet can be a great place to spread stories that are just plain not true or one sided. There is also a lot of bad advice out there given by people whom have expert syndrome. Expert syndrome is people that believe they're authoritative based on their own experience and can give very harmful advice.

The one thing all of us can agree on is that WLS is a life changing experience. Weight loss and health improvements aside, we cannot predict the course of our lives.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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