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I'm Sitting in the dressing room at Dress Barn crying for what seems like no good reason. I'm seeing friends tonight -I haven't seen some for several years. They watched me balloon up over 6+ years. Over the last few years I just stopped seeing them.

I've lost over 40 lbs since my surgery 6 weeks ago. My clothes are loose so I went to get a new outfit for tonight. From size 24 originally, I grabbed for the 22. Too big. Grabbed the 20. Too big. Grabbed the 18- fit but tons of room. 16 it is. Wtf. Why am I crying? My top sizes went from generous 3x to 1x and could likely go to an XL.

I should be dancing in the aisles. Why the hell am I stuck in this dressing room crying???

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Happy tears? Grieving for the woman who had surgery? A combination?

Who knows. Obviously you have some very strong feelings. That is ok. You are allowed.

Congratulations on the weight loss by the way.

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I would guess hormones. Congratulations!!

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Perhaps because you are making progress after struggling prior to surgery? You are happy for yourself as well? I agree with the hormones thing too.

Whatever the reason, wipe those tears away and be beautiful!

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I suspect seeing this obvious sign of your amazing progress was a little bit of a catharsis for you. I had a similar experience... I cried because for so many years I didn't believe this would ever really happen to me. I accepted my fatness and my fate a long time ago, and seeing that I could change and get my life and body back - well, it was pretty emotional for me too. :) You deserve to be happy and have success! We all do!

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Thanks all. I literally called my mom to the store lol. Have to love moms! I ended up only buying one top and pants. Trying on more was too hard. I think you're right Cervidae. Cathartic. So much emotion built up in the years of being overweight and thinking I would never see my old self again. I was SURE ( probably like so many) I would be the one person this would not work for in the end.

I've decided to indulge myself for the rest of the day- getting a mani pedi now followed by a massage.

Want to look and feel my best tonight. The biggest shocker will come from my cousin. We grew up together, literally next door, went to school together, and now we still live very close and our kids have grown up together. I never told her about the surgery and purposefully haven't seen her since Christmas- which is when my journey started. She can be very judgmental. Never towards me, but usually I tell her to knock it off. This should be a fun one....

Thanks for allowing me to vent. I know you all know how important the support on this site is for each of us.

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Hormones. You fat cells stored not only fat but also chemicals and hormones. As you lose weight, you release these hormones into your system and it can flood the system. By drinking fluids, especially filtered Water, you can flush these from your system through your kidneys. Eventually as you reach your lower weight, this will dissipate somewhat. So try and stay calm and remember hydrate.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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