Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I am sharing this video even though it made me mad.

I was expecting it to be more helpful than it is based on the fact that the website that posted it is one that I normally respect.

Instead of helpful, I found it condescending and almost mean spirited: especially in bashing weight loss surgery and online communities.

What do you think?

What do you wish she would have said instead?

As someone who has had WLS and may still be struggling with food addictions, what kind of help do you need?

What, if anything, good did you learn from this video?

http://www.fitwoman.com/blog/2016/04/28/bariatric-surgery-treatment-binge-eating

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I learned that if you are mentally ill, you are really screwed. And I would not use her as NUT. She said there wasn't any long term studies on success, and that's flat out not true. I really hate when someone takes a dogmatic, "Stay off the web" stance. I don't mind the cautions, but her recommendations are too extreme. But to her credit, she seems to specialize in working with hard case eating disorder people. I don't think her advise applies to anyone who is more "normal*."

*Everyone is "normal" until you get to know them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know if she is just really caffeinated, or if she likes having her eyebrows pushed up so far :D but I had to listen rather than watch.

agree about the dogmatic attitude. and I agree with OKCPirate (of course- as we all should have a general policy to do so) her advice seems to be more appropriate for not your average WLS patient. I have a friend who was not honest in preop about a history of eating disorders - and it has caused extreme problems for her in the years since surgery. It has been painful to watch the repercussions. It is very important to address any issues before surgery, and then you will still have things surprise you that you didn't realize were a problem until later, and then more help is needed. But, it is NEVER too late! If you are struggling with any kind of eating disorder, find help! you are not a failure.

*normal is a setting on the dryer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bless her heart.

She's the quintessential "dietitian" -- ex-sorority rush chairman, ex-cheerleader. And has always, always, always been skinny. Absolutely zero experience with overweight or obesity. And condescending as hell.

"You're fat. Get used to it."

In my experience, they are all like this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with you Inner Surfer Girl, she was condescending and a bit mean spirited, especially when it came to WLS forums. I noticed she spoke in an even tone throughout the video, but raised her voice and changed tone when saying the word "fail or failure". She had a few good tips like finding a mindful eating forum, ect. I could tell right away that she isn't a big supporter of WLS in general.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What was disappointing to me was that there are so few resources for us. Good eating disorder therapists for obese people, let alone for those of us who have WLS are rare. It's not WLS/bariatric programs that are behind the eight ball in my opinion. It's therapists who have the specialized skills and knowledge to work with post-WLS (or even pre-WLS folks).

To hear someone who specializes in this area seem so close minded is just disheartening.

I still think that many of us can benefit from a good therapist or counselor. I just wish they were easier to find.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What did I learn from watching the video? The importance of personal grooming and brushing your hair before appearing on camera.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G925A using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Based on my own experience and watching others go through this process, I've come to believe two of the most essential components to success after WLS are 1. self-awareness 2. the ability to make good decisions for yourself.

It was made very clear to me pre-surgery, and many others who have shared their stories with me, that the surgery is a tool. My pre-surgery process was very thorough and covered the many factors that contribute to a person reaching a weight that qualifies for WLS. Anyone who thinks having WLS guarantees achieving long-term weight loss with no other effort or intervention is deluding himself. Perhaps there are some practices that don't do enough to make sure patients are good candidates, but I believe the majority do. They want to have successful patients so they can grow their business!

I also think what she said about long-term studies is ridiculous. People dropping out is a problem with ANY long-term study. Duh.

I think the other tips she gave, like eating mindfully instead of counting calories, can work for some people. I really don't think she should assume they work for everyone.

I also think online forums like this are helpful for a lot of WLS patients. This is where self-awareness and the ability to make good decisions for yourself come in. When you get advice on forums like this, consider the source, obviously. You're not getting advice from medical professionals. You're talking to other people like you. It should be obvious what things you should check out or even just ignore.

And when someone gives you advice about anything, you need to remember you know yourself better than anyone. You should be able to judge whether something might work or just isn't right for you.

So yeah, I definitely think the whole tone of the video was off.

Edited by gpmed

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I admit, i didn't watch it.

However, I do have something to say about eating disorders, mentally ill and WLS. There is a huge spectrum of issues and I think it is a big mistake to think we are all the same, or that we are in the same state of "readiness" to change our lives. I was not diagnosed with an eating disorder, but by the time I was sleeved, I was a pretty hard case of "disordered eating". I can STILL be like that at times. I am upset about something in my home life (my effing grown sons not picking up after themselves or helping out is starting to really get to me). Because I don't know how to get what I want out of the situaiton without creating a riff, i am swallowing my emotions. I chose that word intentionally because I notice i am eating more, i seem hungrier, but the truth of the matter is that I want that "numbing feeling" I used to get from eating. I don't think I am actually more hungry - but rather I am seeking that thing that food used to give me. That sounds like an eating disorder to me - right? And yet, I am maintaining a healthy weight, healthy labs and a good life 4.5 years post sleeve so I am maybe not a complete loser.

I wish some of the stigma around "mental health" issues would just freaking go away. @@OKCPirate has talked openly about some personality issues and being conscious of ourselves in the world. That frankness has made me think more about it too and i think has helped me .. it's all part of the "leave the shame behind" track I am following. I actually asked a counselor last year if she thought I had a personality disorder (like borderline or whatever) - we had a long conversation about it and I was very relieved by the discussion. I also realized that in the past I would have never had the guts to actually face that possibility.

anyway, bringing it back around to WLS. I genuinely believe there are 3 key factors

1. Lifestyle/habits - are you active? do you know how and regularly make healthy choices and get your butt moving? I think most people THINK this is their biggest problem area but in my experience it is the easiest of the 3 to change.

2. Physical changes brought on by obesity - this is where WLS really helps alot. I was over 300# and was completely "owned" by my physical hunger until I was sleeved. This is the launching pad for being able to change #1 and maybe #3 too.

3. The mental health/emotional health issues - like my story of stuffing down things that I really NEED to express. This one is probably the hardest to solve and I suspect will be an issue for me forever to some degree or another. How many places besides WLS forums can we have these kind of honest, I don't have anything to hide kind of discussions?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

anyway, bringing it back around to WLS. I genuinely believe there are 3 key factors

1. Lifestyle/habits - are you active? do you know how and regularly make healthy choices and get your butt moving? I think most people THINK this is their biggest problem area but in my experience it is the easiest of the 3 to change.

2. Physical changes brought on by obesity - this is where WLS really helps alot. I was over 300# and was completely "owned" by my physical hunger until I was sleeved. This is the launching pad for being able to change #1 and maybe #3 too.

3. The mental health/emotional health issues - like my story of stuffing down things that I really NEED to express. This one is probably the hardest to solve and I suspect will be an issue for me forever to some degree or another. How many places besides WLS forums can we have these kind of honest, I don't have anything to hide kind of discussions?

YES YES and this is why y'all are now my tribe. B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Inner Surfer Girl

I see her video as advertisement to gain clients for her business. Trying to convince her audience that her professional opinion and resources are the end all and be all of the bariatric community.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK, I will go back and watch it, but if this person believes that you should not reach out to the internet and community support, why is she posting on the internet??????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK, I will go back and watch it, but if this person believes that you should not reach out to the internet and community support, why is she posting on the internet??????

Because she wants you to know she's *certified* and you aren't.

Oh -- she's also a *certified personal trainer.*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK....so I watched it.

She sure had a lot to say for someone who did not quote any researchers, resources, or statistics. I totally disagree with her caveat to avoid bariatric communities. I think this forum is awesome. My bariatric brothers and sister have helped me beyond measure, and I intend to hang around forever.

She reminds me of my nutritionist who maybe weighed 98 pounds soaking wet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×