Advice needed, plication recovery and secrecy

[twins2016 26]

I'm a almost 41 yr old mother of twin boys and have been hovering around 230-240 for 5 yrs. I did intensive ivf (4 rounds) & feel this has messed with my ability to lose weight. I've been big my whole life (10 pounder at birth). I will be self pay and don't want my husband to know I'm doing it (he would be against it). Im looking into Dr ganta in Austin TX. Any advice on recovery? What to expect? How long before heavy lifting (my boys are 50 and 30 lbs each and love being lifted)

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[meve3681 35]

Recovery from Gastric Plication is about 2 weeks. I only took one day off of work, but should have taken more. It's important to take it easy the first few weeks out of surgery. You're going to be exhausted the first few weeks, not just from surgery but because your food intake is going to be so small as well. I don't know how you will be able to hide the drastic change in your portions. You will also be on liquids only for a number of days post op.

[twins2016 26]

I didn't even think about the diet portion. My hubby works a lot so won't even notice my eating habits.

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[KristenLe 5,980]

I honestly can't imagine you being able to do this without your husband's knowledge and need his help and support especially with young children. I believe it involves a hospital stay and about 7-10 recovery time - probably longer to lift. Good luck!

[twins2016 26]

I was under the impression that it was an outpatient procedure, i havent seen a doc yet for consult. Maybe once I feel confident in going forward with it, I'll let my husband know. He just worries so much and would prefer I lose weight on my own, but it's not something I can do, I feel le my body is fighting me.

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[twins2016 26]

I'm also worried about this not working and I don't lose weight, then looking like I failed again... I'm sure this is unfounded, but that's another reason I don't want him to know, silly right?

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[meve3681 35]

I was under the impression that it was an outpatient procedure, i havent seen a doc yet for consult. Maybe once I feel confident in going forward with it, I'll let my husband know. He just worries so much and would prefer I lose weight on my own, but it's not something I can do, I feel le my body is fighting me.

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It is an outpatient procedure, you will be home the same day. It is still a major surgery and your body will need time to heal. I was surprised at how long it took me to feel back to normal. It took me about 3 months to feel back to 100%.

I am just a little over a year post op, and I have lost 81 pounds. I hit my personal goal at 9 months post op.

[Mountaingal 322]

I agree with other posters that this will be hard to hide. Not only the recovery time and inability to lift your children for a while but you will have 5 incisions. They may be small but they will be visible. I came home told I could lift a gallon of milk and add a pound to that each day so it will be while before you can lift much. Not only is there the post-op diet but the Dr may require you do a two week liquid diet before surgery. Like every other way of losing weight how well you do depends on you. You will want to eat less and feel full sooner but you can derail the weight loss by eating slider foods, drinking shakes and lots of soft things like ice cream or nibbling all day. My husband was not supportive of my doing this either. I waited and waited and finally told him I was doing it whether he approved or not. Then the strangest thing happened he became my greatest supporter! Maybe I just needed to be determined enough to improve my health and diets certainly hadn't helped. I really can't say why he changed his mind but he did and perhaps yours will too. I wish you all good luck in your Quest for better health.

[twins2016 26]

Maybe I should do that and just tell him that I have my mine set on doing it and he can support me or not.

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[Seagull 140]

Yeah, I would just tell him. Either he will accept it, or not, and who really cares either way.

[jaxmom 644]

Twins2016.... Reading this made my heart hurt. Listen.... You need to do this. Your children who you obviously adore are going to get such a happier, healthier version of you and so will your hubby. One that will be around longer because there is less weight to carry around. Emotionally.... God I just want to hug you!!!! I have been fortunate enough to have an awesome support system with my hubby and kids (10 and 12). They know mommy needed to do this so I could come to swim meets, go camping, play tennis and golf with them again.... We are Team Morris! When i first found about surgery my husband was skeptical though, looking back it was because he knew nothing about it except that "isn't that what the chick from the show Cheers did and gained it all back?" (I think he means Kirstie Alley). He just had no clue what it entailed and what the after part looked like. I did research and presented it to him in a short format (he's good but still a man ) and he was on board. I also let him know there was no way in HELL I was not going to get it done, period. He had never seen me so driven. I was a self pay and flew down to the Dominican Republic by myself a few days after the New Year in 2010. I got banded btw which while it did work pretty well for a while, it did eventually break and last week I had it removed and was sleeved. I wish I went the sleeve route to begin with, weight comes off so much faster and no fills, etc. And btw I feel AWESOME. Yesterday went to the mall, target whole foods and planted plants outside. One week out from surgery. I know everyone is different but I went in with the mindset I will make it work and be ok and know what? It has been. Sometimes things do work out. Please keep us posted... Here is a hug for support!!!! O

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[twins2016 26]

@@jaxmom, your post has me in tears! You're absolutely 100% right. I feel like I focus and fight myself and my body so much that it takes away from the parts of my life that matter, like my kids. I've decided on doing the sleeve as well and have lined up my consult /evaluation tomorrow. Thank you for the words I needed to hear to keep moving forward with this journey.

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[Sajijoma 1,324]

You should just tell him. You are suppose to be a team and he can either support you, or you'll know it's time to walk away from the sinking ship, but hiding is not healthy. What if you have complications or worse yet, what if you didn't make it due to complications. He has a right to know what the risks are too doesn't he? Since he'd be the one losin his wife and shouldering the responsibility of both parents. Here's the deal. When I told my hubby I wanted gastric bypass he was NOT behind me at all, but I told him my reasons for doing it and that I was going to do it. I did my best to educate him on what it was and what it wasn't so that he would know that this was a carefully thought out decision and although he didn't like the idea, he did come around and seeing me healthy, happy, and a helluva lot more mobile now, he understands that it was the best thing for me.

[Doc'sWife 56]

Don't take this the wrong way but if you can't tell your spouse about something as important as Bariatric surgery that will alter you for the rest of your life then I think you should sit down and figure out the real issues behind the secrecy. Your spouse should be your biggest advocate and support during this time. Gather all your research and write down all your reasons why you want and need this surgery and go to him. You guys have obviously been through a lot already with the IVF and birth of your sons. Don't put a secret this big in your marriage. Plus keep in mind that if something happens to you and you need medical attention he needs to be able provide accurate medical history for you in the case that you can't.

I want to just give you a hug. Please give yourself at least another month or two of thinking on this before you make any decisions

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[Marona 13]

I was under the impression that it was an outpatient procedure, i havent seen a doc yet for consult. Maybe once I feel confident in going forward with it, I'll let my husband know. He just worries so much and would prefer I lose weight on my own, but it's not something I can do, I feel le my body is fighting me.

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Have your primary care physician refer you. I asked if she would and had no problem with it.

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