male only Feeling Unqualified or Ill-Prepared for Surgery

[Ignatius 110]

Anyone else have that feeling before surgery that the imposter syndrome was sneaking up on you?

Today the doctor who performed my psych eval dropped me a line to let me know the eval is complete and ready for my review. She mentioned I was an "ideal candidate" who is prepared for the road ahead. When I read those words, I had a "fooled you!" reaction.

While I've done my research, started the pre-op diet two days a week (dietitian's instructions), and have completed a number of the eval steps, I sometimes feel like "How can they let someone as fat as me have this surgery? Don't they know I'll gain it all back?" That is not at all my intention, but let's face it: Most of us have lost weight before only to regain it, plus a bit more.

How have you dealt with doubts? With feelings like you won't be able to break the cycle a few years post op?

[VDB 800]

Which surgery are you having? Glad you passed the psych eval... I am one of them shrink types and felt like I had fooled them, too!

About the doubt... normal for most of us. For me, after decades of failure, it is unreal to even contemplate that I could lose this weight. But, I did. Now that the rapid loss period is over for me, I am facing the reality of having to be very careful. But, the good news is that my pouch is small, I literally can't overeat. The bypass part of the surgery is there always, helping cut nutrient absorbing, and honestly, it is easier to avoid weight gain and with careful eating and good activity, the pounds are still coming off. I still am shocked when I look in the mirror or see myself in a window reflection... but I deserve this new body.

[Ignatius 110]

@@VDB Sleeve. The surgeon I'm using won't perform a gastric bypass on someone my size. Which is fine as I wanted the sleeve from the get-go. Best of luck reaching your goal and maintaining a weight you're happy at.

[Valentina 2,642]

Dig deep, my friend. Way down inside is the determination and strength that you haven't realized process---yet. You'll find it, but you will have to get serious and --dig deep.

Make a list of all the things that you want to do, but your weight is keeping you from doing.

Make a list of all of the reasons past attempts to lose weight have failed and how that felt.

Study and memorize both lists and decide which list you want to have as you mantra--forever.

Round up "your team": your support group (hopefully family and friends), Financial team (insurance rep, and bariatric coordinator), technical team (nurses and PCP and medical support folks), a WLS supportive therapist (someone who truly believes and supports WLS), Nutritional team (nutritionist, dietitian) who you feel comfortable with for the foreseeable future, and your bariatric surgeon--just don't settle for the first one YOU interview. Make sure that the two of you "click". This relationship can make or break your success.

Take your time rounding up your team. They will be your life line during your journey into your new life for years to come.

I am excited for you. This is an adventure like no other. What wonderful experiences you will have! You will wake up with a new view of yourself and your day to look forward to--not just endure.

I look forward to welcoming you to, "The Losers' Bench".

Keep posting. Keep searching for information. Keep asking questions--small and great.

One thing NOT to do----DON'T YOU ​EVER DOUBT YOURSELF OR YOUR WORTHINESS!!! Not E​VER!!!!! ​

Head up! Forward--always forward, my new friend---and---DIG DEEP!!!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

Don't over-question yourself or what may lie ahead. Today you want to lose weight. That should be the foundation for your decisions. Keep putting one foot ahead of the other on the way to the operating room. There are no guarantees for what you'll do a year down the road, but, if you decide against surgery, nothing will change. I think it's called "one day at a time."

You can also work with a therapist to reorder your thinking.

Edited April 8, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

Sorry, @@Ignatius, the "Male Only" and "Female Only" headings aren't positioned well in the website. I didn't see that you intended to talk only with men until it was too late. This doesn't mean, of course, that I didn't give you a solid response.

[illailla 79]

i know that you can't stop women from reading the forum but wisdom for men from a males viewpoint should really be enforced around here

[Christinamo7 4,041]

i know that you can't stop women from reading the forum but wisdom for men from a males viewpoint should really be enforced around here

People mean well - it's just hard to see that designation on certain browsers.

I felt the same way as the OP and really can't hardly believe it even as the weight is coming off. I think you're completely normal!

[illailla 79]

lol