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Just got approved, Now how to tell people?



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Ok, I am 6'1 317 I just had 2 back surgeries and I need some help getting some weight off. I have been over weight my whole life. I am just worried what my family is going to say. Did anyone else have this problem? But I really think I need to do this.

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and my family, thought I was crazy, but I'm 34 no health issues yet, but it runs in my family, stroke, heart disease, high Blood pressure, diabetes, my parents were like, you should diet harder, I have been dieting for 7 years, I got banded July 9th of this year, love my band, its just a tool, my wife is excited, we have a 3 yr old and one on the way, I did it for my health, and my wife and children, good luck on whatever you decide, Danny It's like Nike(Just do it) your health is more important than whatever people think

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I'm telling those on a "need to know basis" only. I can't wait for six-seven months to pass and have people do "double-takes." When did Darragha gain a chin instead of one continuous neck? Is that Darragha? Holy &*^@!

Oh, babies...I can't wait. Less than a week to my consult!

Darr

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300IOWA - with the exception of back surgery, you could be me!

I've posted to a couple other threads (just search for 'em) on the issue, and people here have been great with their support and ideas. I think it really depends on a few things: your relationship with your family and your desire to share.

Personally, as is the opinion of several others here, it's a personal decision. I'm not telling my family, as I know their reaction would not be supportive. With something like this, you need support. And remember, once you say it, you can't take it back.

Best of luck to ya, pal~

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When I told my family -- they were all glad for me. I made sure that I highlighted the positives, ie. how it was much less invasive than other gastric surgeries, with much less risk, and that I would be losing weight at a safe rate. As for other people in my life, as the date got closer, I just started telling friends and colleagues in casual conversation, and didn't make a big deal about it. I was surprised at the number of people who hadn't heard about lapband and were interested in hearing more details about it. I was also surprised about the number of people who had heard about it and knew other people who had had it. For me, the main thing was just to be confident and sure when I told them about it, and just to be matter of fact about it. Good luck.

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i work at wal-mart and i dont wont anyone to know ,what can i tell them? rumors start like fire around there/

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I'm wondering if I am just a spoiled brat. I want to have a party and Celebrate the next chapter in my life! I want everyone to know. I am so excited! I go for my first visit with Dr. Spivak on Wednesday. I am praying I can have my band sometime next month. Be happy for yourself! You need all the support you can get so be sure to tell people you know will support you. Good Luck!

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Hi,

I am getting banded on the 21st of August and I have chosen to only tell people who are think really matter to me. Everyone else is not important because what I do with my body is my own business. I've been judged my entire life for being overweight, I don't need people to continue judging me because they think I took the "easy" way out.

I am happy with my decision to get the band and I know this will change my life forever.

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I am 53 and have not told my family yet either. My parents and my sisters, they are all overweight and they have not been very helpful in getting it off themselves either. My oldest sister had gastric bypass and lost all the weight and everyone is jealous of her. I am the youngest and I am worried. Funny you said that, it has been bothering me too.

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If you don't see or talk to your family everyday, don't feel pressured to tell them. You are only in the hospital over night and are almost back to normal in a few days. When the weight starts to come off or they notice how you eat, just say you have made the decision to eat healthy and lose weight and that you would appreciate their support.

I really wish I hadn't told my family - my sister who had bypass 25 years ago, started right out saying it won't work. My Mom of course chimed right in with her, since she is older and had bypass, she must know everything. Never mind that I am nurse and made this decision after a year of research. Well they both had to shut-up after my husband lost 75lbs in a little over 2 months, but I am sure they are just waiting for me to fail. Sorry not planning on it.

Wal-mart - yes everything does get around there! My husband is a CSM, he tried everything not to tell, but personnel wouldn't let him have his FMLA without specifics. He did NOT tell any of his managers, but someone came up to him the other day and said, I heard you had surgery on your stomach and proceeded to tell him all about the people they knew who had the band or bypass. With his weight loss it is hard to deny that he had something done, so he didn't say anything at all.

If you know in your heart this is the right decision, then it is no one else's business. Tell them or don't, just don't worry about what they have to say.

I have had to say this to a couple of people:

Would you question surgery if it could cure an alcoholic or drug addict?

Easy way out: Major surgery, general anesthesia, diet and exercise for the rest of my life - ya' that sounds easy.

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Thanks for the responses! It really has helped, I have told my mother and she was really supportive. I'm going to mention it to my father this weekend I think. I would just avoid it but we have a close family and they would notice something was strange right from the get go. Overall I have gotten positve responses about the whole thing. I'm really glad this place it here to post/read.

Thanks.

JMS

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I only told a very few people in my family in the begining,and no one at work. I knew I was going to have it done, so I started dropping little hints before I was banded. I talked about how I joined a gym and was just cutting back on my food intake,and giving up drinking soda. As the weight started coming of no one was really suprized, as they all knew I was back on a diet again!I finally came clean with my family after about 3 months and still have not told any one at work and do not plan on ever telling them. For me, this has been the best decision I have ever made for my self and do not regret it in the least.( even when i'm PBing,which has only been 3 times )Don't want to scare any one off!

307/238/190ish

Banded 22 Mar 07

Dr. Darren Minkin

Des Peres Hospital

St.Louis, Mo.

I'M WITH THE BAND

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When I told my daughter, she was not happy about it. I have am recovering from hip replacement and she wonders why I want to go through another recovery. She is now supporting me. All my friends are very supporting. However, some of them tell me that I will feel better "when you drop some of that weight". Well, I know they mean well, but that hurts my feelings. Oh well. I am doing this for myself, no one else. Good luck. My date is August 27th.

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    • LeighaTR

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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