Changing your mind with two weeks left.

[choicemun 111]

My sleeve is scheduled for the 29th and am nervous and excited. But my family is starting to have me question myself, when I first told them I was doing this they seemed supportive. But now at the 11th hour they are all saying "oh are you sure you wanna do this?" "You should try something else?" "What if something goes wrong?".

And so on which as me sound guessing myself, I am already nervous n scared this is not what I need right now. I don't want to change my mind about this but they are really getting to me.

Have any of you had same thing happened to you and how did you deal with it?

I could really use some advice.

P.s. As anyone used waist trainers and had less stomach skin after the weight loss, anyone know if they work for that??

Thank you all in advance you all are so kind.

[NewLifeforBlondie 18]

My advice to you is to look within your self for the answer. You've went through all the testing, gotten to the point for approval, and now a few short weeks until you begin your new journey. How many times in the past have you already tried "something different" and failed. I too had push back. Someone last week asked me, why don't I just eat less & workout more? Seems simple enough, though that "plan" hasn't worked long term for me in the past. With the question "What if something goes wrong?", did you reply...."what if everything goes right?" People who are unfamiliar with something, can come across as pessimistic and look for every reason why something can go wrong. My advice is to ignore the negative feedback, and look for the positives. My surgery is in 4 days, and I couldn't be more excited!!! It's been a journey to get here, and nothing will stop me now. Best of lick to you, you can do this!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Try making a list of pros and cons - for having surgery now, not having surgery now, or never having surgery.

In the end, the risk of not having surgery was much higher for me than not having surgery. Plus, the upside is tremendous.

Also, if you believe in prayer, this is certainly a good time to do so.

Another good exercise is write about what your life is like now and what you want your life to be like. How close are you to the life you want?

Do you have a bucket list or wish list? This is also a good time to make one.

[NoMoBand 278]

Wow, I had forgotten about this and now you are reminding me and I can relate. Initially, I started out wanting the gastric bypass, I attended seminar, first appointment and due to friends and family scaring the crap out of me I discontinued. 1 year later, due to developing more obese related medical issues, I looked at lapband - seminar, first nutrition appointment and I discovered that a co-worker had died on the table from getting the lap band. This was a sign in my mind and discontinued the process. Shortly after, I discovered that he actually died from a heart attack that just so happened the day before his scheduled surgery and not on the operating table or due to getting the lapband. With mind at ease, months later I started the process again and got a far as a lapband surgery date set and was on the pre-op diet for 2 weeks, then, a few days before my surgery the hospital called and said that they cancelled my surgery because there was a shortage of a drug required for surgery at the hospital and I was re-scheduled for 2 weeks from the day they called, which put me at 2 more weeks of the pre-op diet. Oh hell yes this was a sign and I decided not to proceed. Long story short my doc and wife and 1 of my 3 sons convinced me that I should proceed. I went forward. I was a success with lapband and lost 120 lbs. and have no regrets.

Fast forward. Right before my 5th anniversary of being banded, I discovered that my lapband had caused my esophagus to enlarge. Band came out and I was revised to sleeve. This time I had zero hesitation and 11 months ago am sleeved and I am extremely satisfied with my sleeve and wish I had done this the first time. Anyhow, I can relate. You need to really dig deep down and search for what you want. Others will have opinions on both the positive and negative ends and if your family is like mine, it will be mostly negative. You have to do what makes you happy, but, be absolutely sure that you have done all your research and are sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is what you want! Next, lean on the positive supporters, you will need them. Should you go forward you will be very pleased! Much luck to you. Jake

[amandastearns 79]

Not that it's okay, but I think it's somewhat normal for family to ask those questions. Less than 24 hours before surgery my father ( who hasn't said much before hand) started questioning everything and made me even more nervous than I already was. You'll do wonderful and have the support of us all! Stay focused and we'll see you on the losers bench soon enough.

[Muted_Tummy 29]

Remind yourself all the reasons why. I think family and friends worry about surgery. You don't see family second guessing an elected hysterectomy. ..why, so often struggles one has with our ovaries and uterus and not hidden. They do not know all the pain , physical and emo tional, of carrying around all that extra weight because we hide it. For myself, I did they...ok one last time trying weight watchers....and I couldn't push past 20 lbs lost. Just see their second guessing as "I love you'. None of us "want" WLS but we come to realize to get the life and health we want, it's the only way. Do I wish I could make goal and lifetime in WW and "eat like a normal person "? Yes. Do I look at research on WW and realize very few make that? Yes.

Hang in there. Come up with ur own come backs. I am just starting to tell folks out of m6 core family. I just preface my coming out with....I have chosen to tell you this because I need your support. After many tries at different things, I have decided on wls. I'm happy to answer any questions abt the surgery but please know this was a long road to get to this decision.

Sent from my SM-G900V using the BariatricPal App

[choicemun 111]

Thank you all so much.

People like you is why I am so happy I found this place, I don't think I could have gone this far with out all the support and amazing stories here that I read everyday.

I know this is somethings I need and as much as life after the sleeve scares me because of the unknown, I know it is a way better life then the one I am "living" now which is not much of a life.

As of last night I told my family that this wasn't an easy decision and that cutting 80% of my stomach wasn't something I wanted and decided to have over night. That this was going to happen and I would love their support, but if not it was still going to happen.

Thank you all again I can't wait to be on the other side.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@choicemun

No one else has to live in your body so their opinions are kind of irrelevant. What you are going through, is exactly why I only told a couple people that I knew would be on my team.

[rking 484]

I agree with everything already said. I will just throw this in. I was diagnosed as diabetic in June. Had the sleeve in November. In late January, my A1C had dropped to a number where I was not considered diabetic anymore. The sleeve is so very good for your health.

[JamieLogical 8,727]

You have come this far in the process for a reason. You already made your decision. Don't start second guessing yourself now. The doubts you have now are all based on emotions. I assume you made this decision previously based on reason and logic. Reason and logic are MUCH better criteria for making a big decision like this. So trust that you made the right decision back when you were being reasonable and logical, not while you are being emotional.

As for your question about the waist trainer. NO NO NO. It will definitely not do ANYTHING for your skin. The only things you can do to potentially help your skin situation are to stay well hydrated, moisturize daily, and take all your Vitamins and supplements (may want to take extra Vitamin C and beef gelatin).

[lifeofblair 308]

I backed out years ago and wish I didn't. But, at the same time part of me is glad I did because i don't think I was ready to make all the changes needed.

[Muted_Tummy 29]

@@JamieLogical beef Gelatin? Do tell. is this a collagen thing?

[JamieLogical 8,727]

@@JamieLogical beef Gelatin? Do tell. is this a collagen thing?

There have been some studies showing it can increase the elasticity of skin. I took it while I was losing weight post-sleeve. Not sure if it made a real difference or not, but figured it couldn't hurt. It even had a gram of protein! Of course collagen is a low quality Protein that isn't as well absorbed by the body, but hey, still protein!

[breezy25 69]

My family is really supportive but I have a close friend who has given me a ton of push back. She sends me screenshots of the risks and says stuff like "how can you read that and say yes I want to do this!" She will say she worries for my kids and what happens if I leave them motherless. Stuff like that!

She is morbidly obese herself with extremely high blood pressure from her weight. I honestly think she may be jealous. She's been flat out mean to me for no reason.

So she did get in my head and I did freak out a bit but then I reminded myself of all the reasons I want to do this. Write them down! That's what I did. Things like - no more seatbelt extender on the plane, shop where I want, more energy, no more sore feet and knees, etc etc.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[JamieLogical 8,727]

@@breezy25 I found that it was the obese people in my life who tended to have the most negative view of WLS as well. I don't know if it's jealousy or if they had considered it in the past and decided against it so they think everyone else should decided against it too or what. But I did find it interesting that most of the thinner, healthier people in my life were all for it and very supportive.