The Easy Way Out

[melyssafaye 181]

At this point, I've been approved for surgery by my insurance company and have a final appointment with my surgeon to go over everything and set the date. I've been going back and forth about whether to tell or not to tell and if so, how much.

On one hand telling friends and family is worrisome because of the fear of being judgment harshly for taking the easy way. (Which I know wls isn't easy). However, saying it's just diet and exercise perpetuates the fairy tale that all it takes is eat less/exercise more.

They I started thinking- if there were a way that I could be anesthetized and wake up with a perfect body, why wouldn't I take it? If there were an easy way, sign me up!!!! We have a culture that celebrates life hacks and power ups. Why would the easy way be bad?

Edited March 9, 2016 by melyssafaye

[lat72 38]

You shouldn't worry about what people think. You know it's not easy to do this. All it is is a tool to help you along way. I told people with pride and I didn't receive any negativity.Hold your head up high and don't let anyone put judgement on you. Good luck on the rest of your journey.

Edited March 9, 2016 by lat72

[AvaFern 3,516]

I told no one that I had surgery until a week after surgery, at which point I told my three best friends. I am now at 2.5 years post-op and those three people are the only people who know. You will absolutely have people who tell you that you are taking the easy way out, who make comments about what you're eating, and who, God forbid, if you lose weight and gain a bit back, will tell you how they were right all along that you took the easy way out and look, you failed.

There is nothing wrong with perpetuating the fairy tale- it is your life and who you tell or don't tell is your business. I have never once regretted not telling people and I am 100% certain that the snide comments about how I had bariatric surgery would have bothered me and continued to be something people bring up, well past the point I am now which is at 11 months of maintenance at goal. People are jerks and they will 100% say stupid things and hurt your feelings if you make your decision public. If you're fine with that, then good for you, but if you're not, there is no reason in the world that you owe anyone an explanation other than diet and exercise, because ultimately if you don't diet and exercise the sleeve won't work anyway, so it's hardly as if you're lying.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know, either.

[Christinamo7 4,042]

to tell or not to tell is a very personal decision - I tend to be pretty open, and I am more or less immune to other people's opinions, really because once I have made a decision I have considered it a while, and from all sides. It is hard to get me to change my mind.

Some of my family were worried about the aspects of this that are life changing - one example, is for 30 years they've seen me with a coke in my hand - it is an adjustment. and surgery is always a worry. but because I had to wait over a year for my surgery due to an issue they found during approval, everyone who was worried at all had come around and I have had good support.

I do tell people, quite honestly, that I had surgery on my stomach (sleeve) due to my diabetes. off all diabetes meds since surgery. it has helped friends to not see it as a cosmetic solution. they can't argue if my doctor recommended it for a medical problem.

Edited March 9, 2016 by Christinamo7

[melyssafaye 181]

Thanks for the replies. I realize that it's nobody's business either way. But what I wonder is this- if there were a magic pill that promised (and delivered) a huge weight loss overnight with no exercise or dieting, why would that be a bad thing? All those diet industry commercials promise to reduce waist size effortlessly and people by them in droves.

I think the easy way would be fabulous. Unfortunately, it doesn't exist. But if it did, I'd be first in line!!!

[Valentina 2,642]

I simply asked myself, "who am I doing this for"?

Myself.

I believe that for WLS to be a true change in life style and a new path of life, one has to be willing to do the work for no one but themselves. If you aren't truly willing to walk the walk alone then you have no business talking the talk.

I don't offer any information. However whenever some one asks, they get a cheerful, truthful, and very short answer. I answer their questions, but offer nothing more. No one is allowed into my heart and mind simply by being nosey.

I made my decisions for myself, by myself. --and I really don't give a rat's arse who approves or disapproves. It's my journey and I am more than prepared to travel it alone.

[Christinamo7 4,042]

Thanks for the replies. I realize that it's nobody's business either way. But what I wonder is this- if there were a magic pill that promised (and delivered) a huge weight loss overnight with no exercise or dieting, why would that be a bad thing? All those diet industry commercials promise to reduce waist size effortlessly and people by them in droves.

I think the easy way would be fabulous. Unfortunately, it doesn't exist. But if it did, I'd be first in line!!!

YES. if there were an easy way out I would take it, and I would push anyone else needing it toward that.

I will say that for me, so far this is easier than trying to will power my way into it, but harder because I have no opt out, I'm in for a penny in for a pound - I've had the surgery and learning to live with it. very happy.

[BigViffer 3,545]

They I started thinking- if there were a way that I could be anesthetized and wake up with a perfect body, why wouldn't I take it? If there were an easy way, sign me up!!!! We have a culture that celebrates life hacks and power ups. Why would the easy way be bad?

You didn't come and and say it, but I want to chime in here just in case you may be thinking it. There isn't anything easy about this. We don't wake up with a perfect body. Everything after the surgery is difficult, emotionally taxing, physically trying, and just all around hard.

But the rewards can be equally as great. Improved physique is likely, but we will have excess skin or hair loss. And that is just one more thing to stress some of us out. The loss of a coping mechanism is no small deal.

I don't want to sound like a Debbie-downer, but I just want you to be armed with all the information going into this.

[melyssafaye 181]

Oh, I know and I think I said it in my initial post. Weight loss surgery is NOT an easy way out. I've never for a moment thought so.

My point was why are we sometimes shamed for "taking the easy way out"?

For one thing, it's not easy. But more importantly, what if it was? If that magic pill actually existed, would taking it be wrong? Should I suffer with a headache when I could take Tylenol?

I think it's because if overweight people can lose and keep off the weight, judgmental people wouldn't get to feel better about themselves.

I guess I just got tired of defending my choice as not being easy. Because honestly, if an easy way were an option, I'd take it in a heartbeat.

Edited March 9, 2016 by melyssafaye

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

You are doing this for your health, both mental and physical.

People who are self-righteous and judgmental and do not see that it is necessary for you to lose that excess weight via a WLS tool are not your friends.

Without rehashing what lifestyle commitments you need to make and enduring the surgery, it is definitely not an easy way out.

You can always tell people you are on a medically supervised diet, making healthier food choices and eating less, and exercising (leave out the surgery part).

Congratulations on your decision.

[Valentina 2,642]

I did actually tell a co-worker (a nosey surgeon in fact), that I had had an "Epithany".

That shut him down instantly. No one in a work environment wants to get into a predictable ongoing, never ending litany about another's religous experience.

The old theory that nothing is more annoying nor more boring than having to listen to a soap box filibuster from an: ex-smoker, a "born again" fanatic , or an extreme weight lost achiever.

I left that day with a secretive smirk.