Not sure who I should tell!

[HappilyEverAfter44 40]

I'm a nurse in an ER. My surgery is scheduled for 3/28. I have only told my children (grown) and husband. They are beyond supportive. I haven't told anyone at work because I don't want to hear horror stories of patients they've taken care of and come in with some type of blockage or worse. I also don't want the negativity of their opinions. Most of all, I don't want anyone watching what I eat or questioning me. (My plan is to stick to everything I've been told to a T). I don't feel like it is anyone's business, however, they will notice I'm losing weight and working with all women, (they tend to be nosey!) I'm sure they'll ask me what I'm doing to lose the weight. Plus they will all know that I'm out for a couple of weeks, and I had to tell my boss that I was having surgery, but I did not elaborate, nor should I have to.

Any suggestions??

Thanks in advance!

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[GalleyGal 26]

The only people I told about my band to sleeve revision was my mom and aunt since I needed them to take me to the hospital and watch my son. I feel this is a very personal decision and it really isn't anyone's business. I've been starting to eat healthier and talking about my weight loss to a few people at work so they are aware that I'm working to get healthy. They do know that I had surgery but I told them I had a hernia repaired, I didn't lie just didn't tell them I also had a revision. You just need to do what you feel is best and if not telling anyone then don't.

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[mngreeneyes 674]

Who you tell is entirely up to you. I have heard several great answers to nosey questions. The least confrontational was something like, I've been eating carefully and working out a lot. I am sure you will hear lots of great lines from the boards. I had someone who I haven't told about my surgery tell me the other day that I was shrinking before her eyes. I simply responded thank you. She didn't ask any questions, but it was kind of a pregnant pause after my thank you, but I wasn't going to tell her anything more. She may know, my department leaks like a sieve, but I know that I didn't tell her. I'll take the compliment and leave it at that.

pam

[Jade99 40]

Just say that I've already made up my mind and it's my decision. I mean you never know. Thus far, the people who I thought would judge me the most have been supportive. It's a catch 22, but no matter that person's views on the matter, it's your life. Think about it this way, would we rather take the opinion of someone dictation of how we should live our life and then die by not doing anything or we do this surgery and use it as a tool to save our lives? I vote for the latter. Once I put it like this, they were like Ok we get it, especially when I explained that the gastric bypass would put my diabetes in remission.

[meaniey2k 31]

I've told my parents and husband. I've slowly told people at work I'm having surgery soon but I've said gallbladder surgery. I just don't feel comfortable telling people. The most important people know that's all that matters.

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[Sleeve_Sistah85 193]

I only told my boss at work because she had to fix the schedule for me.

Personally I told mom, sister, 3 friends..all of whom were supportive

I did not tell my best friend...because I am afraid of what she would say. She is hypertensive and also obese but doesn't have insurance and she's been having a rough financial life. I just don't wanna give her more good news from me when she's always having a hard time.

When work people ask what I've done I just say low carbs and liquid diet. It's not a lie and it usually turns them off from wanting to know more.

[LMSWNYC 119]

I recently had the gastric sleeve surgery and only told a few friends and family. It was the best decision because in was able to focus on what was important for me during pre-op and it was less stressful. I did not want any negative energy. After the surgery some extended family members found out but by that point i did not care. Those who cared have come by to show support and others have avoided me. I am completely fine with that because this is something I did for myself and my quality if life not anyone else. At work I have only informed my supervisor and two elderly staff members who are more like mothers to me. I do not plan on telling anyone else at work at this point. I want to focus on my recovering and making sure i follow my doctors recommendations. My private life is just that and my coworkers don't need to know about my major life decisions. If i feel comfortable in telling a few people later on that will be my decisions not anyone else.

I would say do what feels right to you.

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[jj7481 363]

I only told a couple of close work friends. The rest that noticed I was losing weight have asked the usual "How are you doing it?" My standard reply is "Among other things, a very restrictive diet."

Stick to your guns. It's your decision and no one is entitled to know. Keep the info circle small.

[lifeofblair 308]

My coworkers kind of figured it out on their own because there is another lady that had it before she started and is very open about it and I was not. But, they noticed I was only eating yogurt and such when I came back and that I was losing weight pretty fast. They've been nice at least to my face and I work with all women.

[linda71730 8]

I think I've told anyone who would listen, my surgery is March 15th. I'm also a nurse so I encourage everyone to ask questions but to please keep their judgments to themselves. My life is an open book and I want their prayers and good vibes.

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[CHM 1,011]

During pre-op my husband was the only one who knew. Once I had a surgery date scheduled. I let his parents in on it since we were staying with them at the time and there wasn't really any way to hide a 2 night hospital stay and the recovery that would follow. About 2 weeks after surgery, when I was looking and feeling more normal again, I told my mother-in-law that I'd be okay with the rest of family knowing. She's a big gossip and I know it was absolutely killing her to keep it zipped. Plus she is far more vocal and confrontational than I am, so I knew if there were any negative reacters she'd have had them whipped into line before they ever got to me. As a housewife, coworkers weren't an issue for me. I still haven't told my own family and probably never will - they live 2400 miles away and can be quite critical and judgemental.

[BriannaT 3]

I'm just starting into the process and have only told my boyfriend and parents and that's probably where it will stay until after surgery.

When I told my mom (who had gastric bypass 10 years ago) she was so exited for me but quickly said, don't tell anyone until after because people have their opinions and you don't need them.

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[kjwrn 129]

I am in a similar boat as an RN having surgery on 4/4! My husband and a few coworkers are the only ones that know I am having this done.

I am in a similar boat as an RN having surgery on 4/4! My husband and a few coworkers are the only ones that know I am having this done.

[sunshine1531 30]

@@HappilyEverAfter44 I understand how you feel. I am also a nurse and I work in a hospital. I also told my boss that I was having surgery but not what it was for. I only told 2 people I work with that I trust that I am having it. I'm not looking forward to everyone else asking me about it either, even though I know eventually it will become obvious. I have decided that I think I'm just going to be honest if people ask me. I feel more comfortable doing that then skirting around the issue or coming up with another story. I work around a lot of women who gossip unfortunately. So either I'm sure they will be talking about me having the surgery or finding something else to talk about. :-/

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[iwanttobethin 21]

I'm a C.T. tech and I am having surgery on 3/28. I was hesitant at first to tell my coworkers, but I actually work with a great group. They have been very supportive. You will always hear nightmares, but just think of all the patients that do have it without complications.

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