Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

A bit depressed post op/post surgery blues



Recommended Posts

This may seem silly, but I had surgery on Monday. I was pretty scared and anxious. Everything went as expected I suppose. I thought I had a group of friends that was a really strong support system. Its now Thursday and none of that circle of friends including what I thought was my best friend has been by to check on me. Now I have post surgery blues real bad. My wife has been great. She helped me put my cpap mask on tonight as I went to bed and I couldn't hold back the tears. She has been wonderful, but my feelings are so hurt over my friends. Anyone else having the post surgery blues or is it just me?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My amateur opinion is as follows...

You've just had major surgery...

I mean, what we have done to us, it's some heavy s**t!!

For now, forget who has been to visit or who is checking in..

You've got more important things to worry about...

Focus on getting yourself up and about as soon as you can...

Focus on getting your Protein and your Water into you...

Focus on what your surgeon says you can/cannot/should do...

Your friend are probably unsure how to react or help out...

They'll come good...

And if they don't - so be it..

It's YOU time now...

Even if the only one to focus on you is YOU...

And don't forget that as your fat 'melts', stored up hormones and stuff are released...

And that can REALLY f**k your s**t up...

You'll get there @@bama41

Just hang here as much as you need to and ask as many questions as you want...

But before you ask, look around the forum...

Most questions have already been answered to some degree...

Good luck to you mate...

Keep us posted here as the days and weeks unfold for you...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went through buyers remorse for a few days...it totally sucked. But then as my energy came back I remembered why I thought it was important to have surgery in the first place. You will get through this and in a few weeks it will be but a blip on the screen....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you're going through this. I was sleeved on 2/23. I'm not feeling quite the same about friends but my spouse isn't as supportive as I thought he'd be so I can relate to the disappointment. It's hurtful. But keep your focus on the reason you did this. It's not for your friends. It's for you! Your health! Friends and weight have a strange relationship. One of my "good" friends the other day finally called and then told me she was jealous and knew that it was wrong, that she should be happy but she's just jealous. Who knows what's going on with your pals. Just keep your eye on the prize and find some good distractions. This site has really helped me for that. Good luck!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think a lot of people don't realize that this is major surgery and a major life altering, permanent change. They also don't know how difficult it is, especially in the beginning. It's one of those situations where people just don't know what to do or say. Most of the time they say the wrong thing or nothing at all. We're sensitive, they're ignorant (on this subject). Just can't win.

Your friends will come around and some of them will say the right things and some will not. I doesn't matter because this is your new life. Focus on getting well, everything else is gravy.

I had the blues after surgery. I felt like they just took away my best friend (I know silly) anyway, after the first two weeks I felt like I was dying. My doctor said (he actually yelled at me) that it was because I had not started exercising. Oh really, I thought I was supposed to wait until I got the ok from him. I was so angry but I did start exercising (walking) and felt like a new person the next day. So I took back all the curse words :)

Be well!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think having the blues after surgery is very normal. The drugs make us that way. Each surgery I had I was very weepy from the pain meds. Plus our friends just don't know how to take this surgery. They haven't done the research we have and don't get it. They'll come around, hang tough.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe your friends think you need to rest, and haven't came by. They might be giving you time. Don't take it personal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×