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Phantom Fat/Body Dysmorphia



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I have seen many posts from WLS folks who are struggling with seeing their weight loss objectively. For instance, when they look in the mirror, they still see themselves as overweight or obese.

I just ran across this article and thought it might be helpful:

http://www.mysouthernhealth.com/phantom-fat-still-feel-oversized-even-losing-weight/

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Interesting article. I am already having a hard time with this. I was 376 at my heaviest, 319 at surgery and hit 230 today and when I look down at myself or look in the mirror I still see the same rolls and huge legs. I only see a difference when I look at side by side comparison pictures. I feel better physically and I know I am different because I have had to go from a 26 to an 16/18 in clothes but I keep wondering when I am going to feel better about how I look and how I see myself.

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Thanks for sharing. This is a very important topic for all of us.

pam


Thanks for sharing. This is a very important topic for all of us.

pam

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Just read the article. Not sure that I agree with some of it. I think we see what we think we look like..whether it's weight, or something else. I had no idea I was a heavy as I was. Only when I saw pictures did I realize what I really looked like. Fast forward to me now and it's the same thing only reversed. I need to see pictures to really 'see' what I look like after losing 145 or so pounds.

Oh, and I am always looking at my reflection, not because I'm obsessed..but because it helps me to see what I actually look like, and not what I think I look like.

I've been in maintenance for about a year and a half and I still hold up the jeans or the dress and think that there's no way I'll fit in that small size. And this is after two years of therapy as well. I'm better but I'm not 'cured' of this...not by a longshot.

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It was kind of a fluffy article, but there should be more articles on the topic.

I always felt smaller and thought I looked smaller than I was so now my reflection in the mirror closer matches how I aw myself anyway.

I think trying on new clothes constantly is the best way to notice loses. I go shopping every week, and every week I look and feel smaller and the clothes prove it. Wearing the same clothes, and since most clothes have stretch now, will never really convey the weight loss like new clothes.

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Thank you so much for posting this topic. I honestly feel like this might be the case for me. I've lost almost 50 pounds, and I can't tell in the mirror at all. I check my weight and that is confirmation that I am smaller, the number is reliable, my eyes - are not.

I can compare pictures and see a difference, but not in my mind. I keep wondering if I'll just one day accept that I AM smaller than I was, and actually see it. I don't stare in mirrors all day, but I do compare myself a lot.

I've wondered also, if it's because my stomach(s) are still shaped the same way and that's why I still look the same to myself. Maybe a Tummy Tuck after I hit goal would allow me to believe I actually AM thinner. Who knows. Great article.

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I always felt smaller and thought I looked smaller than I was ...

This is me 100%. I've always joked that I must have some kind of reverse body dysmorphia. Its like my brain hit the pause button a decade ago at about 220 lbs, then no matter how much bigger I got I just couldn't process it. I've always been an obsessive weigher, and I took comfort in the fact that I didn't 'look' as heavy as I actually was. Couldn't wrap my head around how those giant clothes were tight on my body. Even in the mirror I see about 220. Now of course this led to a few total mind f*cks when I saw pictures of myself at my HW and saw I really DID look as heavy as I was. We'll see how this plays out when I get below 220. Lol

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I always felt good in my clothes and felt I looked good. I mean not to toot my own horn, but I do give really good face.

Now that I have lost and I am looking back at old picture, only now can I tell the difference. I was never the kind of person to shy away from pictures so I have tons.

When I get down in the low 200s I think my mind and my ego are going to explode. Kanye will have nothing on me in the ego department.

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Well, this is quite an adjustment but I found it gets better over time. I can now "guesstimate" my size by just looking at the item fairly accurately but it took a few years to get to that point.

the biggest struggle was face dismorphia. People would tell me I looked young post weight loss - but to me I looked SO OLD. then it hit me, last time I was under 150# I was like 21-22 years old! It's not that I look old for late 40s/early 50s, it is that i look old compared to my brain's memory of my thinner face. This has been much harder to get over and I have to give myself little pep talks. i do have excess skin on my neck/chin (that is what a triple chin will get you!) and I sometimes really notice it.... anyway, I am more and more comfortable with my physical self as time goes on.

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Yes! With me it's the face too! I have gotten to the point where I can totally pull a garment off the rack and know if it will fit, no matter the number on the size tag--I can see it's a "big" 2 or a "small" 6 and will fit.

But I totally think my face looks much older, and am told I'm being silly and it doesn't.

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Cow Girl Jane, I totally understand the looking young thing,the last time I was this size was my thirties. So to me my thin face looks old and I hated my neck at first,but it has settled down.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Since I see patients in a clinic it's inevitable that some of them who haven't seen me for months are shocked at my weight loss. It reminds me that I have actually dropped significantly although my brain has gotten used to it. And the way I look now. Lately, the thing I'm battling ( and I think it's body dysmorphia) is that my middle area actually looks bigger to me now than a few months ago after I'd gotten VSG. I've measured with a tape measure which doesn't show a gain but I feel thicker in that part. I'm very self- conscious about this and even though I fit into a size eight pant, I won't wear them because they tend to push fat up into my middle and makes me feel/ look fa. . Anybody else have this issue?!

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A big part of still feeling "fat" for me is the loose skin on my stomach. It's minimal, I admit, but it just looks so ugly to me.

I also feel like I look older and like I have really dark circles under my eyes. I'm super pale right now--I had my surgery last June and then spent another 2 weeks in July mostly inside a hospital when my dad was sick, so I think that even the minimal tan I normally get in the summer just wasn't there, and I've only gotten more pale over the winter months--so I think that's why it is so noticeable to me. I've gotten comments from other people--both people that I know and from strangers--that indicate that if anything, I look younger now, so I dunno.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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