Booked in, but need finance...!

Hello everyone, new girl here.

After months of searching and applying to various surgeons, I finally booked in with Dr Chris De Bruyne in Brussels. I'm in the UK where a sleeve costs about £10,000 and I can't get one on the NHS because I have no diabetes or hypertension etc - I'm mostly doing this because I'm really unhappy with myself and I have some other issues like arthritis and PCOS that could be so much better if I lost weight. So I decided to go to Brussels where the surgery is relatively cheap.

Anyway, after applying for finance from lots of places, I still don't have the money yet. My credit score is on the low side, but only because I'm in my 20s and haven't got anything as collateral (car or mortgage etc) - for someone of my age, it's higher than average. My bank are considering me for a loan for the cost of treatment, but I have to convince them. There is no one I know who could lend me the money or even be a guarantor on a loan if I needed one.

I know, I know, why did I book in? I asked and there is no charge for changing your op dates, so even if I end up having to get it months or years from now, at least I finally feel like it's really happening. You guys know how desperate you have to be to get to the point of considering surgery. I feel like I've lost so much of my life because I'm sluggish and unhappy and I can't interact happily with people, or be confident in myself or be free of pain. I just want to feel like this is really happening, my life will really change. It felt better to book it in and then look for the money than look for the money and wait ages to be able to book in. Of course, if I don't get this loan, I will have to keep postponing surgery dates until I do.

So if I don't get this loan, I will be crushed. At this point there's basically no other option except to wait a few years while my credit score improves enough to get a loan, and be miserable and not looking in the mirror for all that time. I looked at other things like the balloon and the band, but they seem to have quite a high rate of re-gain and psychologically I just can't take regaining all the weight again.

Anyone else relate?

Can anyone tell me I'm not being insane?

Also I'd be happy to hear from anyone with experience of being operated on by Dr Chris, or getting the op with PCOS or arthritis.

Thanks for reading xx