Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Surgery Monday. I'm about to back out!



Recommended Posts

Well this is my first post ever. let me just say I am married, I am the father to two young girls. I have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, starting to be diabetic and I'm getting arthritis in my knees. I have been a lurker for months now. I have been on this forum reading and looking at pictures like crazy. I have gone through all the preop lab works doctors appointments etc. etc.

Surgery is finally here I have been going back-and-forth in my head for the last two weeks. Last night I went to target to stock up on all the necessities I needed for post op and I had a major meltdown. I actually had tears in my eyes and had to put everything I was about to purchase back on the shelf and leave the store with my head doWn. I am a 43-year-old manly man, bearded biker type, and was practically in tears. Tomorrow is my clear liquid diet before surgery on Monday. I'm a complete wreck today. The permanence of the surgery, the not drinking an hour during dinner, major chewing of my food from now on (instead of just eating normal), never being able to guzzle Water, (or anything for that matter), never drinking a beer again. These things and more are whizzing violently through my head. I'm on the fence, off the fence all day long....I know this is not well written and jumbled as this is how my head is today.

I'm a wreck..... Anybody got anything?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am not in your shoes just quite yet. But I certainly understand your fears about not being able to guzzle your drinks. That is my one fear that I can't seem to shake. I think about it daily. I think it is actually more of a habit than anything , Habits can be modified. I once had to be NPO for a week, after a day or two I no longer felt the need to drink , let alone drink the way I always had.

But with that being said please don't cancel your surgery. There are people here that are literally dying to be in your shoes. I imagine that part of why you are doing this surgery is because you love your kids and want to see them grow up. There are no do overs in this life.

Another thing that has helped me is that I have known two people that had the Gastric sleeve this past year. One had no complications. She dropped 90 pounds. She said she had no regrets. The other had massive complications. She had a leak, she spent 12 days in ICU. A month in the hospital, She had to eat with a TPN, a wound vac and had to have her bowels reconnected ( from infection). I asked her the same question , did she regret it??? And she said NO. So even with complications it was still worth it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a complete meltdown 2 days before my surgery, too. I had to pull over on my way to work because I was shaking and crying so hard. I had a major WTF am I doing panic attack. But I talked myself back off the ledge and thought about all the reasons I wanted WLS in the first place and all the pros and cons of going through with it. After that I was totally at peace with my decision and never gave it another thought. Over two years out and I still know it was the best thing I ever did.

BUT....if you are not totally OK with your decision and completely committed to all the changes that are required in order to be successful then by all means, do not go through with it. The physical part of the surgery is really the easy part (barring any complications), but the mental part is forever. I've read posts from folks that probably weren't ready for the surgery and rushed into it and then ended up squandering their opportunity. Still others have backed out of surgery only to go ahead with it months or years later. They just needed more time and that's OK.

Just go with what you really feel is best with no regrets one way or another. Backing out now doesn't mean you can't do it later, but once it's done there's no turning back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Frankenstein, sorry it's been so hard for you but think about the end result. I'm scheduled for my surgery on 2/1 and have been on my pre op diet for 5 days now. I feel like it's been torture but I just keep thinking of how I will feel after this. Everyone I know that has had the sleeve have had great results and are living pretty happy normal lives now. You said you have daughters, I'm sure you want to be healthy and be there for them. I know this is hard but try to stay strong. You can do this! We can do this:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@frankenstein Let me just say 99% of what your worried about is Bullshit. The only thing true about that is the permanent part. Honestly you can do all of that after surgery, once your healed I'd say by 6 months out you will be shocked. They tell you all of that to scare you into taking the surgery serious. I couldn't guzzle Water after surgery but today I just drank a whole 16.9 fl oz bottle of water in 3 minutes. I can eat and drink at the same time. I don't because I don't want to make the food go through my stomach faster but I can. You can defiantly drink beer. Now, you won't be able to "guzzle" beer because it's full of carbonation so that will not feel good. There's is NOTHING I can't do that I did before. You're going to find it more trying NOT to fall back into old habits. Thank god I can't eat as much!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Among other things, you are in the middle of a "food funeral". I am two years out now, and drink all the Water I want (about 100-120 ounces a day). The only difference is that I just don't drink it all at one time. I can drink a 10 ounce bottle of Water every 15 minutes if I wanted to. I can eat anything I want, but what I want has changed. And...I don't eat enough to choke a horse, like I used to. What surprises me how little food the human body needs to survive.

Here is a link to a thread about why the rest of us followed through with our surgeries. There are now 1,260 replies.

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/219831-what-was-your-final-straw-that-broke-the-camels-back/?hl=%20final%20%20straw

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I couldn't sleep at all the night before surgery and I was super nervous. I had never had surgery at all and the idea that I was paying someone to cut out 80% of my stomach forever was terrifying. In the end it's a little like going off the high dive...you just have to keep walking and jump.

I spent the first 1-2 weeks convinced I had ruined my life and feeling miserable. I spent the next 2 months reasonably sure it might be working. It took me 18 months to hit goal and I have been at goal now for 9 months. I love my 20% of a stomach and having the surgery was something that I am very glad I did.

Good luck to you...just jump, it will be worth it in the end. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand what your thinking.. The I'm gonna do it's and ah hell no's... Like you, I'm a manly man.. I served in the military and I'm deputy of 17 years and a Lieutenant to boot.. I get it!! I really do..

But I look at it like this.. I'm more scared not to. If I don't my destructive eating will get me first.. I feel this tool will give me no choice to eat and live a healthier life.. And besides that, I'm over the drinking beer phase anyways.. I have people who depend on me, so it really a no brainier for me.

You got this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well this is my first post ever. let me just say I am married, I am the father to two young girls. I have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, starting to be diabetic and I'm getting arthritis in my knees. I have been a lurker for months now. I have been on this forum reading and looking at pictures like crazy. I have gone through all the preop lab works doctors appointments etc. etc.

Surgery is finally here I have been going back-and-forth in my head for the last two weeks. Last night I went to target to stock up on all the necessities I needed for post op and I had a major meltdown. I actually had tears in my eyes and had to put everything I was about to purchase back on the shelf and leave the store with my head doWn. I am a 43-year-old manly man, bearded biker type, and was practically in tears. Tomorrow is my clear liquid diet before surgery on Monday. I'm a complete wreck today. The permanence of the surgery, the not drinking an hour during dinner, major chewing of my food from now on (instead of just eating normal), never being able to guzzle Water, (or anything for that matter), never drinking a beer again. These things and more are whizzing violently through my head. I'm on the fence, off the fence all day long....I know this is not well written and jumbled as this is how my head is today.

I'm a wreck..... Anybody got anything?

I haven not had mine yet, mine is in one week. I just want to give you a GIANT HUG and tell you that I have felt the same way.

I also want to tell you that you will be able to have a beer again. If I thought that I could never have a beer again, I would not do it. My ex husband had the RNY and after a year he could have a few beers. The best part, it hits you and you don't need much. So careful.

My heart goes out to you. I can't tell from your profile what kind of surgery you are having, and I don't know if you have a spiritual life, so I am a bit limited here. But I bet nearly 90% of patients before hand feel this way.

*HUG*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Among other things, you are in the middle of a "food funeral". I am two years out now, and drink all the Water I want (about 100-120 ounces a day). The only difference is that I just don't drink it all at one time. I can drink a 10 ounce bottle of Water every 15 minutes if I wanted to. I can eat anything I want, but what I want has changed. And...I don't eat enough to choke a horse, like I used to. What surprises me how little food the human body needs to survive.

Here is a link to a thread about why the rest of us followed through with our surgeries. There are now 1,260 replies.

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/219831-what-was-your-final-straw-that-broke-the-camels-back/?hl=%20final%20%20straw

OMG Thank you so much for linking this! I started reading it and this is what I am going to do until I finish it now! <3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@frankenstein. This past Sunday was 18 months since I had my surgery. I was terrified and completely alone on the day of my surgery. I was terrified. 18 months later I'm so happy I went through with it. I did it to try and save my life. I wish you peace as you decide to go forward with your decision. All we can do is trust and believe that we will be successful. Peace and blessings to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me the worst part of the whole process is where you are now. That moment when you are getting ready to take a step into the unknown on faith.

There is no guarantee that you won't have complications, but my experience was great. I couldn't have asked for a better experience, recovery, or progress so far.

I am getting my life back and I am looking forward to a bright future.

It is scary but for me it has been worth it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay what I'm about to say will probably sound trite and this is a decision that only you can make after much thought, consideration, research and prayer if you are so inclined. However, it might work to show you what you really want.

Flip a coin. Heads you will have the surgery and tails you will not. Then just before you reveal which side the coin landed on, listen to your thoughts. Which side are you hoping landed face up?

I've wanted this for years but I woke up about a week ago thinking heck no, I'm not doing this elective surgery. It wasn't long before I changed my mind back.

Though I am still about a month and a half away from my surgery date so I'm sure I will have more 'what am I doing' moments.

Still I can hardly wait and it's not that I'm looking forward to no longer being able to gulp Water or even drink with my meals or gulp a diet A&W root beer.

But I am looking forward to starting in the right direction of losing weight instead of gaining it and being able to walk to the mailbox without running out of breath and being able to get in and out of the tub without worrying that I'm going to slip and fall or being able to run and play with my grandkids or being able to dance or being able to go to a store without buggies or being able to go to an event where there is a long walk from your parked car to the building and a long walk from the entrance to your seats or being able to sit in a seat that is not at the end of the aisle or being able to go to Dollywood or being able to ride a ride without worrying that my weight is going to break it down or being able to ride a horse without feeling sorry for the horse or having to put up with being around people who look down their noses at you and think they are better than you because at least they aren't that big or being able to interview for a job and not having to hope that the person interviewing you does not automatically discount you because of their preconceived notion about fat people.

Good luck Frankenstein. I hope everything works out perfectly for you.

Edited by Phynale

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The day of the surgery, just after the nurse had placed the IV in my hand, I had a mini panic attack and wanted to rip the IV out and run from the hospital. I wanted to go HOME. Took about 10 minutes to talk myself off the ledge.

We have all been there in one way or another. It is scary, and the long term ramifications are hard to take in at this point.

But it is also worth it.

You will be able to eventually do all those things again. You may not want to tho, or if you do it will probably be much less often and you'll be happy about it too.

It is not the end of things you love. It is the end of things that have controlled you, made you unhealthy and held you back. It is the beginning of taking back your life, your happiness and being able to do whatever you want because you feel good and have the energy and health to do so.

Good luck, and recognize that the fears are normal, but shouldn't keep you from going forward.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nerves are totally normal! You're life is about to change if you go through with it - that's what you want, isn't it?

I'm a year an a half out, and I can tell you my life is "normal". True, I don't drink with my meal. Whoopee ;-) But I've no issues drinking Water whenever I want otherwise. As far as beer or alcohol, you're going to get different opinions on that. I will occasionally have a drink - but one will do it. And it hits fast. But I'm not a kid any more and not out to par-tay.

I've also had to address my food issues. Had to grow up and face them some time. I guess my 50's was it!

I have my health and my life back. Wish I could have done this decades ago.

Remember, it's just a tool. The success, it's ultimately up to you. But I bet you all ready knew that ;-) Best of luck with your decision. There's always a seat for you on the losers bench :-)

Edited by amazon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×