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To tell or not to tell? WLS



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So far only my husband and 18year old daughter know about my surgery. My 2 little boys are too young to tell. Not telling anyone else. I feel that I don't want to explain myself 100 plus times to anyone as to why I'm losing weight and why my drastic decision of wls. Plus I have very judgemental coworkers. Still undecided? Has anyone told close friends and family to only regret doing it!!?

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I only told a select few and it's worked really well for me others have seen me cut back eat Protein first reduce carbs and excise regularly and the odd white lie about how much weight i lose in a week X a pound this week when it's been 3 and I am looking thinner as I bought new trousers that now fit me better lol

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My family, close friends and coworkers know. I don't feel that its everyones buisness ya know. These individuals that know are the ones who will help me along and are very excited for me. People are very judgemental anymore and why should it be any of their concern.

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My decision was to only tell my family. Unfortunately, my surgery was at the hospital I work at, and quite a few of my coworkers were working that floor that day. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that they respect HIPAA.

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I only told a select few and it's worked really well for me others have seen me cut back eat Protein first reduce carbs and excise regularly and the odd white lie about how much weight i lose in a week X a pound this week when it's been 3 and I am looking thinner as I bought new trousers that now fit me better lol

Thanks for the input! :)

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My decision was to only tell my family. Unfortunately, my surgery was at the hospital I work at, and quite a few of my coworkers were working that floor that day. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that they respect HIPAA.

OMG I know the feeling! Initially I was going to have it at the hospital I work too, but changed locations lol

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I have told 6 people: my husband, my 2 teenagers (who seemed completely unphased), 2 of my 8 sisters who I knew would be supportive (one of them had gastric bypass 15 years ago), and lastly, my work partner because we travel together and I'll need her support once we start flying a couple of weeks after surgery.

I travel for work each week to different locations, so most work relationships are remote or for a few days at a time. I'm most worried about staying hydrated once I'm in the air again.

I am deliberately choosing not to tell casual friends from church, school, and neighbors. They will talk enough as it is...no need to explain anything! I only needed to overhear a couple of catty chicks talking about wls once (and going on about how overweight people need to learn to push back from the table) to realize silence is golden. ????

Surgery on 1/5/16....excited, nervous and probably over stalking the boards out here!

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My family, close friends and coworkers know. I don't feel that its everyones buisness ya know. These individuals that know are the ones who will help me along and are very excited for me. People are very judgemental anymore and why should it be any of their concern.

I feel the same way it's not everyone's beeswax lol and I don't have time for secretive judgmental gossip. ????

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This has been a hard decision for me, I am very private and live in a smaller town. I don't see where it is anyone's business but I also have witnessed a few people who kind of lied about getting help. It's a no win situation here and so close family and friends know, if someone asks or asks one of them, it's ok to explain the program and I had surgery. I am not ashamed that this is what is working for me. Anyone that says this is easy has lost their minds. I know everything I eat or do will be commented on or even gossiped about I'm sure. But I figure it is what it is, I choose to live here.

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I will tell you I kinda blew it even if I wanted to keep it secret at church. I had surgery on 12/21, my little sister picked me up for Christmas Eve service and stopped dead in her tracks. I had I guess just planned on wearing jeans (we are a super casual tiny church) but everything was to tight on my stomach. I was also on my pain killers but had settled on bright orange Halloween pants with cats all over them and a grey and green shirt. I am such a light weight on pain pills but she ask me once are you sure you don't have something else and I said something snarky. So yep there I was in my Halloween best, she at least talked me out of serving communion. So needless to say the church knows. lol

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I will tell you I kinda blew it even if I wanted to keep it secret at church. I had surgery on 12/21, my little sister picked me up for Christmas Eve service and stopped dead in her tracks. I had I guess just planned on wearing jeans (we are a super casual tiny church) but everything was to tight on my stomach. I was also on my pain killers but had settled on bright orange Halloween pants with cats all over them and a grey and green shirt. I am such a light weight on pain pills but she ask me once are you sure you don't have something else and I said something snarky. So yep there I was in my Halloween best, she at least talked me out of serving communion. So needless to say the church knows. lol

How funny! I'm thinking the same will happen to me. I'm very close to my older sister, but she tells her kids everything. And they are loud, immature judgmental brats! lol ????

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I have told 6 people: my husband, my 2 teenagers (who seemed completely unphased), 2 of my 8 sisters who I knew would be supportive (one of them had gastric bypass 15 years ago), and lastly, my work partner because we travel together and I'll need her support once we start flying a couple of weeks after surgery.

I travel for work each week to different locations, so most work relationships are remote or for a few days at a time. I'm most worried about staying hydrated once I'm in the air again.

I am deliberately choosing not to tell casual friends from church, school, and neighbors. They will talk enough as it is...no need to explain anything! I only needed to overhear a couple of catty chicks talking about wls once (and going on about how overweight people need to learn to push back from the table) to realize silence is golden. ????

Surgery on 1/5/16....excited, nervous and probably over stalking the boards out here!

Oh wow!! I bet you're excited! I start my pre-op 1/04!! Good luck and keep us posted ! ????

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I have been discussing this with my therapist for a while and I really don't want to tell my coworkers but I am going to. Drastic weight loss coupled with time off from work..doesn't take an Eisenstein to figure it out. I initially just wanted to tell my boss i needed off for one week (with no explanation) but then what if I need more time? Also considering my profession my coworkers are going to need to cover for me while I'm gone. I'm a private person. It's killing me I have to tell them but I figure it will come out sooner or later. I don't know if they will be supportive or not, i feel like they may be with the exception of two coworkers. I know once I tell them it will spread like wildfire but I will be asking for them to keep it confidential. Fat chance that will happen though. Outside of work, I have told two people.

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I'm not telling others (besides my husband). I don't want comments in either way - both of disagreement or support - because my weight is not a topic I care to discuss with others. I'm uncomfortable discussing weight loss with family and friends, so I have not told anyone else, and it will stay that way.

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I told my cousin nd I hate that I told her bcuz she was saying I don't need to have surgery just stop eating so much but I've gained so much weight nd this was the best option that I had.... I'm 302.06lbs nd I'm 5 feet 3 inches tall....my wish is to get down to 140 lbs nd I'm praying that all of my illness would b gone best wishes to you all

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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