A serious question for the veterans

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

Okay here goes. I have been overweight all of my life. This surgery has given me something I was never able to do on my own. So far I have lost 103 pounds with about 75 more to go.

My question is this:

When does the brain see the real me and not the old me? I know I no longer wear a 4x but an XL. I no longer wear size 32 pants but an 18. When I look in the mirror I see lots of extra skin but in my head I am still the fat girl. Did you do anything different to help you see the new you? Is there anything that helps?

Thanks for any words of advice you can give!

Cindy

[reree6898 1,164]

Following this thread because I'm interested in the answers myself. I've also been heavy my entire life and seeing the changes are not easy.

[twinhappy 79]

I am almost 10 months out (not sure if that is what you would call a veteran) and from my experience I started seeing myself in a better light about 2 months ago. I felt good about my weight loss months 1-8 but it wasn't until about month 8 that I started feeling like a normal sized person. I have also been overweight all my life. I am down to a size large top (maybe a medium) and 12 pants and I have never felt better. Yeah, I have loose skin but you can't tell with my clothes on. I nearly cried the day I realized I no longer can fit in the plus sized section at clothing stores. Then it also dawned on me that I can shop at "regular" people stores like NY & Co or the cute little boutiques. Having this surgery was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I wish I would have done it sooner!

[Babbs 14,681]

It takes a while for the brain to catch up. I had asked this very question back in May. If you read through the thread, it's actually very common! I've only now gotten used to how I look. I'm still sometimes taken aback at how much smaller I look than how I actually think I look. It's terrible what we do to ourselves! Such negative self thoughts...

Anyway, here's the thread. Great responses, and it made me feel so much better that I wasn't a freak for feeling the way you do right now! It's a really weird phenomenon.

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/341263-why-is-it-the-more-weight-i-lose-the-fatter-i-feel/

[Babbs 14,681]

And this was one of my favorite responses from @CowgirlJane:

This is normal. I used pictures - before, during and after to give my brain practice at seeing myself more realistically.

[ladypoohbear2013 22]

Hello to all. I had my rny June 17 2013, and lost 143 lbs .I still see myself as a larger person. One day as I was walking into Walmart, I saw my reflection in the door. I stopped walking and was starring at myself. After a few people stopped and asked me if I was o.k.. I told them I lost 143 lbs. and not used to seeing myself smaller. We all kinda giggled and went in. I'm still waiting for my brain to catch up. But it is a fun journey...

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I second the "take pictures" (works better than the mirror) suggestion.

Also, eventually you're going to get down to REAL normal sizes. With no X anywhere in the size.

When your sizes hit the single digits it's going to get very, very real. And I believe, given your weight loss record thus far, that that will happen for you.

This whole WLS transformation is just a mind-twister. I'd honestly advise you that you're not weird or abnormal at all to be struggling with these changes. I think many people do. Just relax and enjoy all the good sensations you're having now. Fortunately, we don't have to go through all this personal growth in a month's time. It just takes a while. Can't rush it. You'll get there.

[seaux_beautiful_vsg 63]

And this was one of my favorite responses from @CowgirlJane:

This is normal. I used pictures - before, during and after to give my brain practice at seeing myself more realistically.

Before and after pictures are a GREAT way to see the difference that you don't see when you look in the mirror... I totally use this because when I look in a mirror I still see the fat girl, when I look at pictures I see someone half the size I once was.

[bikrchk 1,313]

The first time I achieved "normal" weight as an adult was about a year and 1/2 ago so I get where you're coming from. I concur with take pictures and single digit sizes make a big difference! That said, I've been in a size 4\6 jeans for a year and 1/2 now and MOST of the time I see a thin(ish) person in my reflection these days. Occasionally though, I feel like a busted can 'o biscuits! Best medicine for that is to take those size 4 jeans and really check them out, (off my body). To this day, it never ceases to amaze me that these are MY clothes when I'm taking them out of the dryer. Weird, huh?

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

Honestly, I don't think we will ever see ourselves as "normal". I think most morbidly obese people suffer from a form of body dysmorphia where we will always see ourselves fat, even when we do lose the weight. I still have not come to terms. I still want to hang on to and wear clothes that are too big for me. I don't feel comfortable in wearing clothes that fit. I still won't look at my body naked and will probably never be at the point where I can walk around without a shirt, let alone walk around naked in front of someone. That's just how it is. I guess counseling may help but you never know.

[livvsmum 2,370]

This is something I still struggle with 2+ years post op. I have been in therapy with an eating disorder therapist since about 7-8 months post op. That has helped tremendously with starting to see myself as I really am. I don't think it's something that just clicks for you some day....at least it wasn't for me. I had to actively seek out assistance in dealing with the emotional/psychological outcomes of food issues and body dysmorphia issues. I still sometimes will see a picture of me or catch a glimpse of myself in a window or mirror and be kind of startled at what I see. :-)

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

Thanks @@Babbs for the link to your thread. I like the idea of taking my pic with other people to see the difference. It is crazy how our brains work isn't it?