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Old bestfriend Is back, and hes married..



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good for you to make the decision to walk away...I agree with everyone else on this post--your BFF was full of crap and was just looking for a way to cheat. Just like someone else mentioned above, if you and the BFF cannot have a conversation in front of his wife, then it's probably inappropriate. And if you have to ask yourself if a conversation or behavior is inappropriate, then it probably is. I don't know you but I do know that you deserve so much more than what the BFF can offer you at this time.

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I just want to say THANK YOU for being a decent woman and following "girl code". I'm amazed at women who will gladly and openly flirt with men they know are married. They use it as an ego boost.

First, never flirt with a married man. That's wrong. Second, if a married man flirts with you, woman up and call that cheater out on it! It probably won't change him but at least you will make your moral standards clear. I threatened to call a man's wife once when he wouldn't stop making comments despite my repeated, very clear warnings. I guess he liked mean girls. I've also straight up called jerks out on speaking abusively to their wives too. Sorry, I hate cheaters and abusers. It makes me so damn angry.

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He is making you uncomfortable and you feel that he is acting inappropriately. Keep your boundaries and count your blessings... you could be his wife and he would likely do the same. They make it personal, and declare it to be so (repeatedly), but its not; it is a problem with them. Don't get stuck with a problem guy.

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My best friend saved my life. Because of him I lost over 100 lbs, I was in an awful relationship and eating myself to death. He was also married, once I started "dating" he got weird. He was in my life for a season and a reason. I still miss him at times, but after I moved on I was happier. He is still on my instagram, and I follow him. We don't comment or "like" each others post. I think we both realized we loved each other because we helped each other through some incredibly hard times, but there is a point you have to love them from afar. My current SO, I would have never met or had the courage to even speak to if it wasn't for him. And he is a man he truly loves me and adores me. My ex BFF, I enameled him and thanked him for all the good things he brought into my life and I wished him well. He is still slightly upset, and I think feels like he was "dumped" but it was never a physically intimate relationship. Saying Goodbye will do you a world of good, but you will have a little heart break and he will always have a little piece of your heart.

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Sounds like he's looking to have a quick fling. Just remember, he's doing this behind her back, he has apparently done this before (judging by how easy it is for him) and will do it again and again, no matter who he is with. Be cautious.

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GIrl, same boat.

I'd run. I'm distancing myself from my bff too. It sucks... but... sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is walk away.

He told me he loved me 3 days before his wedding... and I watched him marry someone else. That was fun =/

Protect yourself, and most importantly protect your heart.

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Run and run fast girl, he has bad intentions very clearly. Your on a process of improving yourself and you definitely do not want to lower yourself and become the "other woman". From the story you told he seemed to marry her because he felt like he had too. It's a really sad situation and you don't want to be caught up in that.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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If he's going to cheat on her, he's probably going to cheat on you also. The baby complicated things bc there's that bond. You'd feel guilty with yourself if he left his wife and baby for you. Don't let him put you in that position.



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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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