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Mad at myself



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Yesterday, Thanksgiving, I did fantastic! I have been SO GOOD since surgery in July. Yesterday I had a few bites of stuffing. I didn't beat myself up because I am so so good all the time & it literally was a few small bites & I stay VERY LOW on carbs anyway. Then tonight, getting my husband a plate of leftovers, I DID IT AGAIN!!!!! WTF!!!!!! I took a few bites! NOW I WANT TO KICK MY OWN ASS!! OMG I am down 80 lb so far total since pre op diet.... WHY DID I GIVE IN??????????

THATS HOW I GOT FRIGGIN FAT IN THE FIRST PLACE! well then I baked Peanut Butter Cookies for my husband... And YAY I WAS EXCELLENT!!!!! DID NOT HAVE A DAMN THING. I REFUSE TO SELF SABOTAGE. So why did I eat those few bites of stuffing tonight? ???????? do you think it will put weight back on me?

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No, sweetheart. It will be ok! Do not be so hard on yourself. You did something you feel was wrong, now learn from it and move on :). We all slip up and I will tell you I did worse than you!!!!! If it will make you feel better, go walk for 20-30 minutes !!

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I worked out in gym with weights for an hour today ???????? .... thank you. Its so scary to think I can ruin it all for myself.

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There is nothing wrong with a few bites of (stuffing/mashed potatoes/ice cream/cheesecake/etc). It's when you eat a ridiculous amount that it's problem. I don't deny myself a few bites of anything, especially when it's something like my mom's stuffing that we only have once a year. In the grand scheme of things, what's 100ish calories and a dozen or so carbs? I can't eat more than 1/2 cup at a sitting anyways, so it might as well be something I really want, especially if it's a very occasional treat.

;)

You're fine. The leftovers will be gone soon enough. Enjoy your few bites and move on.

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That's a really good point! Thank you. Will help me not beat myself up. Thank you ????????

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:o I'm about to go crawl into bed with a piece of apple pie and I have no guilt whatsoever.

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None of us gained weight from just a few bites. I am not even counting my carbs and do have a few bites of some kind of carb at every meal whether it's some fruit on my cottage cheese, some high Protein crackers with cheese, some veg AND mashed potatoes with my dinner. The important thing is that it can be a slippery slope to get back on that hormonal sugar insulin roller coaster. So as long as you avoid that you should be ok. I do not eat bread rice or Pasta but I did also had some stuffing at thanksgiving but it was about 1/8th - 1/10th of what I used to have. Back then the more I ate the hungrier I got.

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LOL! You're fine.

But you might spend a few moments contemplating how you could be a little kinder to yourself in the future when you turn out not to be perfect. That sounded like a lot of self-hate you turned on yourself over a couple bites of dressing.

We don't do ourselves any favors when we beat the s**t out of ourselves. Because if perfection is our goal, we are all S.O.L.

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food should not be our enemy anymore. Make food your nourishment, a necessity, an occasional indulgence. If you're tracking your intake, make those bites of stuffing part of your daily calories. No harm, no foul.

I eat right 90% of the time. That's why when I do over indulge the other 10% of the time, I feel no guilt whatsoever. See how that works?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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