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Big NSV that has created a dilemma for me.......



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So I have found myself in somewhat of a dilemma that I could have never imagined six months ago. I had my six-month follow-up appointment with my surgeon after having the sleeve done in April. Needless to say I have worked really hard and have lost 88 pounds from my highest weight during the last 7 months. I have met my surgeons goal but I have not met my own personal goal as of yet, but I am still working diligently on that. Overall I am a pretty private person, and aside from my bariatric pal friends, only my mom and husband know about my surgery. I have gotten lots of questions at work and from friends, but have managed to keep my decision to have surgery private. This is where my dilemma comes in.....

When I started at my highest weight, I felt ashamed about having surgery to lose weight. Even though I know now this is a totally incorrect way of thinking, I struggle somewhat with admitting now that I have had surgery since I have kept it private all this time. I don't want people to feel lied to, even though this was a very personal decision for me.

So upon going to my follow-up visit with my surgeon, he proceeds to tell me how amazed he is with how great I look, and how successful I have been. He then says he wants to have before and after pictures of me to feature on their Facebook page, and to include in their seminar for future bariatric patients as one of their success stories. So my dilemma is I have kept my decision to have surgery private to this point and don't want to come across as a liar, but now that I have put in the hard work and feel successful I am proud of my accomplishments. On one hand I want to oblige the office and be included in their success stories because of all of the hard work and effort I have put in, and I do feel proud of myself. On the other hand I know how quickly social media travels, and I don't want to look like I have just been lying to everyone all this time. I considered submitting pictures and just blocking out my face, but then I don't really feel like I am owning my accomplishments.

I know this post is probably extremely confusing and I find myself going back-and-forth a lot. I would love others feedback or input if you have been in the situation, or of what you would do if you were in my situation. Also thank you to all of you BP veterans who take time to post and give responses to questions for those of us who are still going through the beginnings of our journeys. Your knowledge and wisdom has been invaluable for me through my journey.

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@@Joz31 blur your face, and don't let them use your name. I keep forgetting we had the same surgeon. I did let them use mine, even though I haven't reached goal yet. Can you find me on their page???

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Lol...that's the other thing....I'm not on Facebook so I have no idea what their page even looks like!

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Congratulations! Great success story.

Just say no. There are plenty of others who are comfortable with"going public" they can use as success stories.

I had alot of shame around my lapband but by the time I revised to the sleeve..I was like "who am I kidding" - not like my 300# was invisible. I am over it and don't care what people think, but I respect that not everyone is in the same headspace.

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I'd go ahead and blur your face. I love looking at befores and afters, but I wouldn't put my face out there - once it's on a page you don't control, no telling where it ends up, you know? I'd reconsider the idea that youd be less than owning your accomplishments by blurring your face. Protecting your privacy in that way doesn't detract from your significant accomplishment one bit from my perspective.

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I agree with Cowgirljane. Just say no. I kept my sleeve and my plastics procedures private and I have zero intention of ever having my results published. Social media with pictures is something that will literally last forever. I don't know how old you are, but many of your friends are likely on social media and will see the post. I also say this in kindness, but a lot of people who don't know you had surgery will have all kinds of judgey opinions about your weight loss if they find out like this.

I am a big advocate for keeping your personal life off of the internet.

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@@wannaBthinsoon

I just found the page....WOW. I don't know who you are on the page, but I noticed his patients lose a lot of weight FAST?! How is his program different from any others? It's incredible!

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We just follow the nutritionists guidelines. Protein first, then veggies or fruits. No simple carbs. And exercise.(which I abhor! I walk or hike...that's it) Nothing any different than yours, I bet. And if you are looking at the before and afters, I am Sherrie. But mine is more a Before and during. Cuz I'm not done.

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Just say no, unless of course they are paying you for using you in their advertising.

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@@Joz31 -- You really didn't lie to anyone. You chose to omit what you preferred to keep private and which is your prerogative. Think of it the other way. If you learned a year down the road that the co-worker who only told you she'd cut down on food consumption, etc., had had surgery, would you feel you'd been "lied" to? That she'd owed you at any time? I hope your answer is "No." What you decide to do with your body is not public domain.

You'd like to have your pics on the practice's website, so don't deny yourself the fun: Blur your face. If you dressed for Halloween and a mask was part of your costume, maybe that could go up? Or something. Propose to the practice pics that meet both your needs.

Edited by WLSResources/ClothingExch

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I keep seeing "NSV." What does that mean?

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NSV=non scale victory...like being able to cross your legs, or paint your own toenails.

Edited to change it to "scale".

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You used to be he word "lie" several times in your post. Have you really been lying, or just being private. To me there is a big difference between deliberately misleading someone and keeping something private.

I keep seeing "NSV." What does that mean?

Non scale Victory

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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