Trial by Social media

[anchorup 15]

How open were/are you on social media about your surgery?

I don't feel ashamed for my choice, but I do know many people view WLS as "an easy way out." I just don't feel like defending anything, but, on the same note, want to inspire others I know that are fighting a losing (gaining) battle with their weight. So far, I think my plan is to wait until the day or surgery, then "come out", so to speak. Most of My family knows and very close friends I talk to daily. The first time I told anyone outside of my inner circle, I got the judgey looks and was told it wasn't necessary and to just eat right and exercise (trainer at the gym).

[LessOfMe0503 157]

I posted on FB about my surgery the night before. I asked for people's love, thoughts, prayers and support. NO ONE was negative at all. I don't pretend to assume that no one has said a negative thing about me behind my back, but that's their weakness, not mine.

[Cervidae 2,389]

I still have not said anything on any social media besides this website. I, too, just don't feel like having to explain and defend my choice to a bunch of "well meaning" but utterly ignorant people. I'm pretty sure no one would be malicious to me, as I simply don't have friends like that. But in my opinion this is the kind of thing people already have preconceived notions about, and it's hard to change those opinions even with education sometimes. Education may change their minds logically but I can say almost for certain that there will people people - even close friends and family maybe - who have already decided to believe that wls is the easy way out, and I just don't want to deal with it. Got enough on my plate (hehe).

All in all, the support from your friends and family can be great, but it's up to you if you want to take the chance. I personally chose not to but not everyone has the luck or the sensitive nature I have.

[anchorup 15]

My other thought is to wait until I'm significantly smaller before posting any full body shots and just saying I did it (got thin)without specifying how beyond diet and exercise

[bugsy72 117]

I've thought about this too. I haven't said anything on FB about it...and I'm a FB girl! But I don't think I want to say anything until it's all over and I'm on the way...IF THEN. I'm very transparent with my life, however, and I think I will post about it at that time. Probably. If people start complimenting me, i'm not going to evade the truth. But the surgery will be over and I will be on to my "new life" by that time. What I will NOT like, however, is if people watch what I eat, like at family gatherings, church events, etc. That will bug me. Obviously, I won't be eating much the first few months but I really don't want them talking about me, like, "Is THAT ALL you can EAT???" UGH.

[citygirl1962 50]

I was hoping to find a "secret" Facebook group for suppoet. I asked a couple people I know who had surgery but have not found one.

[anchorup 15]

There are fb groups for each surgery. I'm in both.

I'm pretty open on fb, too. It's killed me not to say anything

[citygirl1962 50]

Are the Facebook groups secret?

[anchorup 15]

They are private. Nothing posted shows up on your feed

[citygirl1962 50]

CLOSED groups or SECRET? In closed groups, posts are private but anyone can see that you are in the group.

[anchorup 15]

Closed private but not secret.

If it was secret, you wouldnt be able to find them. Secret groups don't even show up in search results

[Cervidae 2,389]

Yeah, I honestly think I could only ever join secret groups, like the one run by my hospital's support group. If your whole friends list gets a notification that you joined "bariatric surgery patients" or or whatever you might as well just tell everyone anyway.

[Learningtolive 109]

I've told a few ppl: my husband, my mom, a good friend who is long distance, and the doctor I work for. That's it. I know ppl will be judgey. The doctor I work for has been. I've lost some weight on a diet set by the nutritionist and he's like "Now you won't need the surgery, right?" Um, no. Because I've been down this road before and I stop after like 20lbs lost. So as far as social media, or anyone really, I've discussed with my support peeps that I'll just have the surgery and if ppl ask about weight loss, or anything well I work hard at what I eat lol

[citygirl1962 50]

I understand that I cannot find secret groups, I am hoping to be invited when I meet anyone who is a member.

[anchorup 15]

No one gets notification for groups I join that are closed. I'm in A LOT of BST groups plus the surgery groups. No one knew, and I only see notifications for friends that joined open groups, not closed