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Mental Image Reset



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I suspect most of us suffer from a similar problem with mirrors and pictures and the like.

On the one hand, when I look at myself in the mirror I do not see my weight loss. I know it's there, I'm wearing a smaller size and I can tell I take up less space in the world. But I do not see it.

On the other hand, I have always been (and continue to be) shocked when I see myself in pictures. Because I am much bigger than how I see myself.

Lately I've been asking myself how this could be - how can I not see myself getting smaller, but not see myself as fat as I am?

I wonder if it has to do with comparison. For the most part, when I look at myself in the mirror, I'm alone. So my perspective is off. But in photos, I see how I am in relation to familiar objects in the physical world.

Obviously, it's been bothering me. I wonder if I'll reach a weight where these two mental images overlap.

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I'm 17 months post-op and down 130 pounds and struggle with this issue everyday. Like you, I know I'm smaller, I wear a size 4, but when I look in the mirror or in pictures I don't see it. Friends tell me that I'm tiny but you couldn't prove it by me. I've started working with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and body dysmorphia in the hopes that this will resolve. I have no words of wisdom to offer only to say you're not alone

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For me, I think it's from conditioning. Having been fat since childhood, it's basically all I know. Combined with all the times I lost major pounds, only to gain them back, it can be hard to begin to accept that somehow it's going to be different this time.

Someday I hope we can reconcile the person we think we see in the mirror, with the person we've actually become.

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I can totally relate to this issue. I can see it in the mirror and my feel it with my clothes but in a picture I think I look just as fat as ever as if I hadn't lost a pound. Weird.

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At one of the multitude of diet places I went over the years in my yo-yoing I remembered, I think it was Lindora, had what they called a "skinny mirror" and every time you got on the scale it was a distorted mirror that made you look thin so you could visualize you future. I think that was a really clever idea to start to see and think of yourself as thin and let your subconscious help you lose weight.

Somebody should make a $20 version of a full length mirror that is slightly distorted for dieters. I think that would be a big seller.

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Maybe it just takes living at the goal weight for a while.

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I know exactly how you feel! I look at pictures of myself, and I'm like, is this what everyone else saw? Because I never looked that bad/big in the mirror!

And now I'm super critical when I look in the mirror... Am I seeing what everyone else sees? I can see my face is smaller, but don't see much change in my body (without before and after photos).

It's just so bizarre that when we look in the mirror and are overweight, we don't see how big we are, but as we are losing weight, we can't see how small we've gotten.

~*~ Find me on YouTube: Trisha's Sleeve Story ~*~

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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