Scared to tell boss any ideas?

[QueenB 0]

I am getting banded on August 7th and decided to keep it a secret from everyone except my family. ( husband, parents, siblings know).

For friends and co workers, i have been "faking" stomach problems for a few weeks and telling them I think I have gallbladder troubles or a hernia..still being diagnosed. LOL! I know it seems evil, but I really don't know what else to do. My friend just had gallbaldder surgery and it was done almost the same way as lap band surgery, so that is where I got the idea. She had 4 insisions done larascopically. It took her a bit over a week to heal, so i figure it would be the same for me hopefully....

I have told a couple friends that I "may" have to go for surgery if it is my hernia...so they are not surprised when I actually go in for it.

Oh well...you do whatcha have to do right?

[esummersett 0]

ALOHAJO

Write down the sequence of events, when and who you told. Write down who knows now. File a grievence through your union (make sure they tell the Union attorney) and tell your HR rep you belive that your Federal rights have been infringed. If you are part of a union and you have a FMLA for your leave, this is a federal privacy offense, if you wanted you could sue your employeer, you could. (You would need to prove damages and that you told your boss why you would be on leave as part of the heirarcy of your job, not just because you wanted him to know.)

As a supervisor at a Union facility, let me tell you the rules are spelled out very clearly-you cannot ask an employee why they are late or why they are calling off work for the day. You cannot ask why they are taking an FMLA, they simply turn the paper work into you or HR. I for instance, could ask how an employee is , that's OK, but not why they're off. The federal government set these laws up for privacy for a reason. Maybe someone needs to challange infringments and see what the punishment for not following of the law. (Bet it would be a monetary settlement:)

[short1 2]

Thanks to all of you I did it. I told her I needed time off for surgery. I do not plan to tell her or anyone else here. I am very excited! Talk to everyone later.

JP

[saralyn 0]

I didn't tell my boss only a few close friends. Ironically I developed appendicitis 3 weeks before my LB surgery at work and had to go to ER, and my boss called me TWICE while I was in the ER getting ready for a appendectomy and wanting to know if I would be in to work tomorrow..Um don't think so... I just took a extended fmla and got mysurgery 3 weeks later.

I know what you mean though management where I work can be pretty abusive to employees so I decided to keep it to myself and if human resources does share with my boss you bet you boots I will file suit.

Stick to your guns and get your surgery Honey!

XXx

-Sara

[chunky buddy 0]

<p>i havent told my boss either they know that im going in for stomach surgery and DH is under instruction of what to say afterwards. I had to give them a copy of my admissions letter so that i still get paid but that doesent say anything and im gonna take as much time as possible off to make sure im realy fit and well. I know this isnt possible for everyone but if it is take it just to make sure your up to it. Any how my boss thinks it somthing more serious so im not gonna say any different</p>

[Nuff 0]

I didn't tell anyone from work, even HR. I simply booked annual leave and told them I was on holiday and would be out of cell-phone range for 2 weeks. I got one work related call in the hospital, but i just said I was driving and couldnt talk. I know my boss would support me if I did tell him (he is the nicest guy) and he wouldnt tell anyone either. Im glad I didnt tell anyone. Now when I slip up at work and eat chocolate no one tells me off!

[Lottie 0]

You didn't mention the type work you do and it's not really important but you do qualify for FMLA. Under the HIPPA act you don't have to tell your boss the reason you are off, you just have to get the proper documentation from you doctor and turn in to HR or the people that handles medical leaves. Your supervisor does not seem very professional. I am a manager also and would never intervene in anything that my employees do for health reasons. I know you don't want to cause confusion in the workplace but if she disresspect you, you might have to see your HR manager. I probably would do like you and just use the hand issue to do what you need to do.

I wish you much success on your journey and CONGRATULATIONS for doing something for YOU. You deserve it.

[Lottie 0]

I am manager also and you are exactly right. This supervisor doesn't seem very educated to treat her employees this way.

Law suits are filed everyday in the workplace due to people like this supervisor. Sounds like the supervisor needs to go to some professional development training.

[reconciler 0]

I had a bad experience with my work when I took time off. Told my supervisor who then told her friend and I believe almost everyone knows now. I am considering filing a grievance with the union. Just for the principal of it. We should be able to keep things quiet when we choose.

HIPPA regulations prevent HR from telling anyone at work why you're out, only that it has been medically approved. I do think it's odd not to say anything, especially when so much personal information gets shared among co-workers. I agree with the person who said just sweep it into the hand surgery.

Btw, I would try transferring in the company if I were you, or find another job. Bad bosses are HIGHLY stressful.

[humnbirdnut 0]

Personally, I didn't care for anyone knowing that I was having lap-band done. I work in a hospital and received a lot of support and encouragment from my co-workers. I am sorry that your boss is being so negative about seemingly everything. If you have decided and believe that this surgery is what you truly want and is best for you, don't let anyone's negativity change your mind. Good luck!

[short1 2]

Well I told her about the hand surgery and all went pretty well. HR is concerned I will not be fit to come back to work on Aug. 27, my hand surgery is Aug. 9 and lap band Aug. 15. I think I will be fine just adjusting to my new diet and only having one hand for a couple weeks. The hand Dr. said I can type and lift up to 5 lb. I will just have to learn how to live with the every day torture of my boss. She is not the only one like that here, most of the women are cruel. Some day they will all have a big suprise when my skinny butt walks out the door! Thanks again for all of your support.

JP