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They seemed sane...Dating horror stories



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I can only speak from my experience that I've had from meeting men online. I take each experience as a learning experience, I do get frustrated and take a break. Right now I'm focused on being a better me with hopefully the help of WLS.

You sound like you come from a place of honesty, when that's in play dating is as it should be.

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Edited by nyteacher125

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it's a zoo out there. I think people don' t try anymore because after the first bump in the road, they go back to searching profiles looking for a replacement.

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I've had 3 dates over the last week. One was an old boyfriend, haven't seen him in probably two years, so pre-surgery. He kept complimenting me...felt fabulous!!!! Never going backwards on that one. He's a good guy and we can hang out and go ride the motorcycles.

The next 2 were from Tinder. I've heard Tinder is a hook-up site, and I made it very clear in my little profile blurb that I am NOT doing hook-ups. First one was lunch last Friday. Nice enough guy, no sparks...we still chat every other day. He's definitely a guy I could hang out with as friends. Second guy was tonight. We went to Carrabas for dinner. Nice enough, recovering alcoholic, he was upfront about it when we were looking at the dessert menu. Ended up splitting the mini cannoli. Not sure how I feel about the alcohol. But I'm willing to give it another shot.

What I did get was the nicest of all compliments from him. He told me I am the real-est person he's ever met off a dating site. We talked about our dating adventure and mis-adventures.

I'm remembering that it's a numbers game. I don't get heavily invested, I wasn't the least bit nervous...I went out with realistic expectations and just had fun. Have a lunch date Sunday with a guy whom already on the phone is a character. Definitely don't see that going anywhere. I'm using the date as an additional barometer. (Dude is arrogant as f*ck...although me laughing at his antics calmed his butt down...lmao)

All in all, this is so much FUN!!!!

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Your having fun as it should be, brave of you to do tinder... Doesn't sound like it was too bad? Something to try in the post-op for me!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Here's an example how we all see things different.,. I feel him getting into that on the first date means he may not be that recovered... Wasn't really first date conversation to me... 1st should be putting your positives forward, give someone a chance to like you before you hit them with all your baggage.... Like maybe get into that on the third date... Some might say I'm encouraging people to lie, no way!!! Either way the poster isn't moving forward with that.

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Here's an example how we all see things different.,. I feel him getting into that on the first date means he may not be that recovered... Wasn't really first date conversation to me... 1st should be putting your positives forward, give someone a chance to like you before you hit them with all your baggage.... Like maybe get into that on the third date... Some might say I'm encouraging people to lie, no way!!! Either way the poster isn't moving forward with that.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I think people do this as a method of self-protection. "If she is going to dump me for the alcohol, let her do it now, before I get attached to her."

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I'm with @@OKCPirate re Date #3.

Recovering alcoholics (FTR, alcoholics who work the AA plan are always "recovering," not ever "recovered" -- that's the model they are comfortable with) are often up-front about their recovery process.

You should definitely choose dates you're comfortable with.

But as someone in the peanut gallery, I'm awarding Date #3 extra points. :)

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@ You should check it out now. It's an app that uses your Facebook. It doesn't comment or anything, but that's where you get your pictures from. From what I've gathered over the past couple weeks, some folks make new Facebook profiles so that the app doesn't have much to grab from. (Dang married men, for one) Try it out, you have nothing to lose as to chat with someone, you BOTH have to swipe right. If you pick a person and then they pick you, you'll get a new match icon. The odds are much better of getting a response this way than other dating sites. Plus you choose the distance.

I've gone on a couple of dates and am lining up more for this week. It's been so much fun. No high expectations, just dating...think last weeks date, "race guy" will end up being a really good friend.

@ You should check it out now. It's an app that uses your Facebook. It doesn't comment or anything, but that's where you get your pictures from. From what I've gathered over the past couple weeks, some folks make new Facebook profiles so that the app doesn't have much to grab from. (Dang married men, for one) Try it out, you have nothing to lose as to chat with someone, you BOTH have to swipe right. If you pick a person and then they pick you, you'll get a new match icon. The odds are much better of getting a response this way than other dating sites. Plus you choose the distance.

I've gone on a couple of dates and am lining up more for this week. It's been so much fun. No high expectations, just dating...think last weeks date, "race guy" will end up being a really good friend.

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@finallyfit50's your encouragement is so sweet.. I'm just not feeling me right now. While I have more closets full of clothes than a person should have( after surgery would love to be able to give them to someone who may be struggling to afford new clothes). I'm just not liking how I look in anything... Last Summer I was at a much better place and had fun with dating...I've always struggled with my weight but this is the worst it's ever been... One thing I learned about dating, don't do it when your feeling at your worst. I feel, that were so judged by what we weigh as women... I do live in NY so I think that occurs here more than in other parts of the country... I know this is a pre-surgery kind of feeling... I knew I was fat but ever since being labeled as obese that has really been a lot to process, I meet with a third and hopefully final surgeon on Wednesday so I think when surgery becomes more of a realty I'll be feeling better... I've spent about 6 months of the past year in a sort of denial as the obesity problem grew worse. Please keep me posted about how it all turns out for you, your very supportive

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I just want to thank everyone for posting all of their stories and advice in this thread. I'm I the process of getting divorced and having never been single in the age of social media, I am pretty terrified of this aspect of my new life! I've learned a lot from this thread.

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Jamie I'm sorry to hear about the divorce. It was one of the hardiest things I've gone through. And it's akin to the same fear you have pre surgery. Excited about moving on scared about starting again. Good luck and I hope your ex is reasonable in the process.

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Jamie I'm sorry to hear about the divorce. It was one of the hardiest things I've gone through. And it's akin to the same fear you have pre surgery. Excited about moving on scared about starting again. Good luck and I hope your ex is reasonable in the process.

He's trying to hold it together. He definitely won't be vicious or vindictive. He is lost and in pain and I can't be the one to conform him, so that's hard. We're also in a situation where we have to keep living together until our house sells, which isn't ideal. Working on getting it ready to list now. Hoping to list it right after the Holiday weekend. Hope it sells quick. We aren't looking to get top dollar, just get it sold quickly.

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