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Regrets and worried for the future



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I know I just posted a few days ago but I was still doped up on pain killers and not very lucid. I just had my surgery on Wednesday so I'm only 4 days post op. The nausea has subsided for the most part but I'm still having some pain around the incision area as well as pressure from trapped gas. I'm walking as much as I'm supposed to but I get exhausted very quickly and feel the need to nap for hours every day. I am overwhelmed with constantly trying to sip sip sip and remember when to drink/eat. I am feeling lots of regret and wondering what did I do to myself? Will life always be like this? will I ever be able to go out with friends again without worrying about over eating? Will I ever be able to enjoy food again? I feel like I'm not myself anymore. I have no energy and I've lost my sense of humor. I just want to feel normal again and right now I feel super depressed. Does it get better?

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Everything you are feeling is quite normal and right on schedule. As your progress into the different food phases, you will start to feel better. Hang in there.

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When i joined a month ago, i felt the same way. Thankfully, i wasnt the only one. For me, the worst was after the hospital and the 2 weeks to follow eating nothing but broth. I was sooo excited to move uo to mushy foods and look forward to eating salads in 2 weeks.

Hang in there. You will get alot of support here.

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Ditto. Totally normal. I kept thinking "what the heck have I done?!" Totally normal. Just hang in there. It will get better.

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Some people get a little depressed post-op. It's a combo of the rapid changes in your body and the accompanying hormonal changes due to the quick weight loss. You will feel normal again and you will eventually figure out how to eat out. Hang in there!

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My dear, I feel your pain. I have felt your pain. Thank God for this forum. I don't know what I would have done without the support. Hang in there, ride the waves, it really does get better.

Prayers are with you for your strength.

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@, I feel your pain. I am in day 8 post op and am very emotional about it all. I'm really hoping that going back to work next week will help me concentrate on something else. 2 more weeks of liquids for me. ???? Good luck to us both!

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You are 4 days out from significant internal surgery.

I'm quite certain it gets better.

You've just had surgery.......give it a couple weeks.

You can't expect to be 100% recovered in 4 days. That is medically impossible. Relax and get that rest between those walks. You'll do great if you give yourself a chance.

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It totally gets better!! I am on cloud 9! I can do things I haven't done since I was a teenager! I can walk so fast my hair blows back! I can sprint through my office if I'm "running" late to a meeting...and not shake the building! I can cross my legs...I can fit nicely in the bathtub. I have been flirted with!! (that is new for me! Been married 30 years!) I can cross my arms, reach that one spot on my back that itches, that I could never reach before! I have been excited about this surgery since before I had it. I did so much research, and u-tube watching I could've almost performed the surgery myself! I had zero regret. I am sorry you feel regret. Trust those of us who have been there....it sooooo gets better! All the best to you!

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I know I just posted a few days ago but I was still doped up on pain killers and not very lucid. I just had my surgery on Wednesday so I'm only 4 days post op. The nausea has subsided for the most part but I'm still having some pain around the incision area as well as pressure from trapped gas. I'm walking as much as I'm supposed to but I get exhausted very quickly and feel the need to nap for hours every day. I am overwhelmed with constantly trying to sip sip sip and remember when to drink/eat. I am feeling lots of regret and wondering what did I do to myself? Will life always be like this? will I ever be able to go out with friends again without worrying about over eating? Will I ever be able to enjoy food again? I feel like I'm not myself anymore. I have no energy and I've lost my sense of humor. I just want to feel normal again and right now I feel super depressed. Does it get better?

I was sleeved on Monday and I'm having an "emotional moment." Not regret per see, but def feeing sad. How are you doing now that you are further out? Can you update us?

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@@linzlou2000 I'm three weeks out now and feeling much better. Physically, I feel great and have had no pain at all. I have a little bit of nausea here and there if I drink too fast or eat something my new sleeve doesn't like. My doctor's plan includes three whole weeks of pureed food so that has been my biggest challenge. I get pretty bored at work sometimes and find myself thinking about all the foods I can't eat right now. I then get insatiable hunger (which I'm pretty sure is just head hunger). Texture and sight has always been a big thing for me so I have a hard time eating pureed meat. In my mind, hamburger is supposed to look like hamburger. It's not supposed to look like mushed up applesauce. I know that sounds silly but that has been one of my biggest challenges during this stage. Only two more weeks then I can move on to soft foods. Hurray!

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As others have said, your feelings are very common in the beginning. I'm almost 2 years out and had regrets for a few months, mostly due to some complications.

However, after a few months I started feeling great and loved all of the changes that accompanied the rapid weight I wanted so badly.

I've been at goal for a year, and I don't think I've ever been happier.

Be patient, follow your Dr's instructions and I'm sure you will have zero regrets in the near future.

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Thanks for starting the post. I knew it would happen to me too and I kept telling myself not to feel regret. Had surgery on October 15 and within days I was thinking I should've just worked out or counted calories. I've lost 10 lbs and feel like it's not enough. The torture we put ourselves through is hell, we know it's temporary and we are told it will pass but when you're in it, it feels unbearable. I've been watching you tube videos, reading stories, joining groups like these to keep myself motivated. I think I have exhausted my family with my fears and constant discussions of what's to come. I cannot wait to be the one to tell someone like me. "It gets better"

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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