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Maintaining easily for over a year but a recent frustration developing. Thoughts?



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So question for you long timers. I'm struggling but in a way I feel I should be grateful for (and USUALLY am) but last night I was down right frustrated.

There are days that I am physically famished but can troll up and down the aisles of the grocery and not find one damn thing that I want to stick in my face. My stomach is rumbling, I've not eaten more than a few hundred calories of something I really didn't want earlier in the day and while I want to eat, I can't find something that I WANT to eat.

I am not a sweets person so a Protein Shake won't do -- I'd rather go without. The few hundred calories I ate but didn't want earlier was probably a Protein Bar. I don't want chips or crackers and I don't want meat. If anything, I want the insides of a pot pie, but I know that's a bad choice.

I don't feel like cooking for the three bites I can take.

On the upside, I've hit my all time low in the last few weeks and now I think I just might hit my ultimate stretch goal of as I've lost 16 pounds since June (hit the top of my 5 pound bounce range over the spring).

UGH. I know there's a million things you can suggest that I will, in turn, say NOPE to, I just needed to say this out loud to someone who will understand and hear that I'm not the only one with this blessing/struggle.

Edit to add: It wouldn't be bad if it was an occasional occurence but it's happening more and more frequently. It was 2-3 times a month, now it's 3-4 times a week. Again, I am grateful for it, much better than being morbidly obese, but it is frustrating.

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It does not happen to me as often, but I have been having one of those weeks. The house is stocked with appropriate healthy foods, but I stand there at the fridge and just don't want to bother. Then I get really hungry, so much that I am sick to my stomach and then really can't decide what I want. I can hear Miss Tummy rumbling and objecting.

Part of my issue is that I get anxious about eating or afraid to pick the wrong thing, so I don't pick anything. Then I will crash about 2:00 in the morning and end up licking Peanut Butter on a spoon. I have my two year appointment coming up soon, with sessions with everyone on my team, including the psychologist. For sure, I will be asking about eating disorders and how they might advise me to find a healthy balance.

I think it just sucks that I can eat under 800 calories (including the peanut butter) and gain seven pounds in six days! Maybe the two -year bloodwork will reveal if deficiencies or hormones are running amuck. I tried weaning off my Wellbutrin last week and would not be surprised if I just need to stay on it to keep my mood and food anxieties under control.

I totally sympathize with you. Although we are not eating junk, we are not eating well. I know I need to get motivated and remember that there is no getting off of this ride. I wish you good luck with your journey.

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This may have nothing to do with what you are experiencing... so for what it is worth...

I went through a period of time when i basically stopped eating , not intentionally, I just didn't want to eat and then eventually felt like I couldn't eat. I had been at goal over a year - it was a strange chain of events that led me to that bad spot and I had to work hard to "dig out". I was motivated to solve it because i wanted good health.

I am not sure what is causing you to feel the way you do about food, but what I can say is if you consistently undereat like this over a period of time you will compromise your health and risk your long term maintenance. I don't think you want your body to get used to living on a few hundred calories a day because that sucks over the long run.

I have found a list of about 10 things (mostly I buy at costco or trader joes) that are convenient, Protein, tasty and require minimal effort on my part. I keep them stocked. It is stuff like healthy turkey or chicken sausages, chicken skewers, high quality sandwich meats and cheese, already seasoned prepared shrimp, etc etc. It has to be things you like and sometimes I had to eat them as a "prescription" not because i wanted them.

The irony of course is that 1.5 years after my "stop eating" incident I am working my way back down to goal as I did have some regain... not alot, but some. As much as i miss having a size 2 pair of jeans, i sure feel alot healthier eating properly and eating enough. I didn't realize that under eating was "messing" with me and creating lots of problems.

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@@LipstickLady - If Einstein is right, and you can't solve a problem at the level of where it shows up, maybe you need to change the horizon of focus...

So you can look at a higher plane of thinking, are you

  • deep down wondering/second guessing your decision to have permanent surgery?
  • are you having problems feeling worthy?
  • are there other issues/pressures in your life that had been covered over by food in the past?

I'm not saying this is the case, just some questions to ponder.

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@@LipstickLady - If Einstein is right, and you can't solve a problem at the level of where it shows up, maybe you need to change the horizon of focus...

So you can look at a higher plane of thinking, are you

  • deep down wondering/second guessing your decision to have permanent surgery?
  • are you having problems feeling worthy?
  • are there other issues/pressures in your life that had been covered over by food in the past?

I'm not saying this is the case, just some questions to ponder.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

I'm thrilled with my decision, I wouldn't change it for the world despite this minor frustration. I was a happy fat, I am a happy not fat. I simply have no appetite for anything.

@@CowgirlJane has the right idea. I keep almonds, Jerky, shrimp salad, my favorite Gouda cheese, lunchmeat, etc. at my house, I think I am just in a rut. I think I need to expand my staples because I am tired of eating what I eat but am too lazy to make the effort to do much more.

Ugh...

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I can totally relate! When I am cooking for my family (husband and two teens) it's easier because I just eat a modified version of what they have whether I like it or not. But when it's just me...he works late, they have school activities... Or it's lunch or something, I'm right there with you.

For what it's worth, I say go for the insides of the pot pie. It's Protein and vegetables, right? Yeah probably more fat and a bit of carbs from the thickening flour and potatoes if there are any... But not a horrible choice! Especially if it's once a week not every day.

But yeah, maybe get some staple go-to's to keep in stock. I do that, cook a bigger batch and freeze some, freeze some leftovers, etc, in single serving sizes.

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This is a totally bizarre idea, but hey, it's worth a shot. You say even though you have healthy food available to you, absolutely nothing appeals to you. Even if its a ready to go food, its just plain unappealing, right ? What would happen if you had someone to "trade " food with 2 or 3x a week ? Do you know a nearby fellow WLS person who might be willing to cook and share a bit , and you do the same ? Maybe having a surprise meal fixed for you might restart the appetite ? Kinda like those neighborhood "cooking clubs" where they all trade and fix a certain amouht of dinners. Just a thought.............

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This is a totally bizarre idea, but hey, it's worth a shot. You say even though you have healthy food available to you, absolutely nothing appeals to you. Even if its a ready to go food, its just plain unappealing, right ? What would happen if you had someone to "trade " food with 2 or 3x a week ? Do you know a nearby fellow WLS person who might be willing to cook and share a bit , and you do the same ? Maybe having a surprise meal fixed for you might restart the appetite ? Kinda like those neighborhood "cooking clubs" where they all trade and fix a certain amouht of dinners. Just a thought.............

What a great idea! Wish I had some fellow WLS people nearby

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@@LipstickLady - If Einstein is right, and you can't solve a problem at the level of where it shows up, maybe you need to change the horizon of focus...

So you can look at a higher plane of thinking, are you

  • deep down wondering/second guessing your decision to have permanent surgery?
  • are you having problems feeling worthy?
  • are there other issues/pressures in your life that had been covered over by food in the past?
I'm not saying this is the case, just some questions to ponder.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

I'm thrilled with my decision, I wouldn't change it for the world despite this minor frustration. I was a happy fat, I am a happy not fat. I simply have no appetite for anything.

@@CowgirlJane has the right idea. I keep almonds, Jerky, shrimp salad, my favorite Gouda cheese, lunchmeat, etc. at my house, I think I am just in a rut. I think I need to expand my staples because I am tired of eating what I eat but am too lazy to make the effort to do much more.

Ugh...

Just a guess, but maybe you are just bored. Do you have a farmer's market, gourmet market, or other place to shop other than a big chain grocery store? The choices available and all the marketing can be overwhelming at big stores. I live in central Kentucky so we have a lot of farmer's markets, local food producers, and Amish stores that are fun to shop.

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I can totally relate! When I am cooking for my family (husband and two teens) it's easier because I just eat a modified version of what they have whether I like it or not. But when it's just me...he works late, they have school activities... Or it's lunch or something, I'm right there with you.

Yup. That's when the trouble starts. Cooking for the family is easy enough, when it's just me, it's tough.

@@LipstickLady - eh, worth a shot, might be helpful to someone else down the road ;-)

Oh, absolutely! :)

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Maybe it just food boredom. I know that sometimes I just get tired of most food and it isn't very exciting- even though I eat a wide variety of foods. I am not as far post op as you, I am only 15 month out, but a bariatric diet can get boring and tedious. Protein, protein, and more protein can get old.

I was getting in a rut and losing some of my zeal for eating too, so I decided to change things up. Just this week, I decided to eat more clean and up my intake of high antioxidant foods. It has actually been fun. I have been counting the ORAC levels in foods and aiming for at least 10,000 a day. I have incorporated lots of green tea, berries, and more raw veggies. I am still getting my protein, but this is giving me something else to focus on which is shaking things up and is kinda fun.

Maintenance can be tedious and sometimes just boring; but oh so worth it!!

You are a great inspiration.

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Here's another crazy thought......... how about looking into a food delivery company ? You know, they deliver a box 1 -2x a month with different foods based on your preferences, or even a local delivery company that delivers in person ? We have Schwans here, I ve heard they're very good, try seeing whats in your area . Maybe looking forward to the delivery will restart your appetite, and get you out of a food rut too !

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@@LipstickLady Do you like fish? I'm on a fish kick so I'm trying all different kinds. Tonight is salmon with pesto sauce. Yesterday was Mahi Mahi with a mango salsa....if you don't like fish then sorry this is useless. :) Oh and roasted veggies with different seasonings in olive oil. I'm addicted to beets and Brussels sprouts! They make your pee red though lol!! Well mine anyway, glad I could share that bit of info with you....you're welcome!!

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I'd like to say something encouraging, like your inclination will return eventually, but for some folks it doesn't seem to. It's no help to hear that some of us wish we had that problem (I can hear chocolate calling me from the next county!) and yet it's a good reminder to hear there's struggles even in maintenance and for you have have done so incredibly well. I'm going to hope it's a phase or stage though, and cheer you on from here--

I do have to ask, does anyone know what happened to Veteran's Forum? I don't qualify for "Maintenance Forum" yet, (so I won't post on here again - sorry for that!), but I appreciated the set of conversations that went beyond all those new-to-WLS posts that were on Veterans.

Thanks, and good luck on this one, Lipsticklady!

Kate

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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