Dating blues

[bellabloom 2,469]

I've been seeing someone seriously for about four months. A month ago he lost his job and he's taken it really hard. I don't think our relationship is going to survive it.

I'm so sad about it. He was the first person I've been with since my surgery. I told him about it and he accepted it really well. I feel like I can be real with him and I've really fallen in love.

It's hard to think about being so open with anyone else. I'm really sad about how things are going.

I know it's not really relevant to wls but I just had to talk about it. Sad. Sad.

Don't want to have to date again and don't want to lose what we have (((

It's so hard to be open about this as is.

[Debbieduck4 399]

If you've fallen in love with him, don't give up on the relationship so quickly. Losing a job is very difficult and often people's identities (especially men) are really wrapped up in their employment. Sounds like he is going through a pretty tough time right now and needs you. You don't say in your post why your relationship won't survive... is he pushing you away? Does he need to relocate for another position? Are you unwilling to be with an unemployed person? It does sound like you really care though and have found someone who accepts you, makes you happy, and that you love. That's hard to come by...I might not throw in the towel just yet... especially over a job.

[bellabloom 2,469]

He is pushing me away and he will likely relocate for another position. ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[bikrchk 1,313]

Been there recently myself and it sucks. Sorry you're going through it. My first real relationship post-WLS lasted 10 months. I'd done the on-line dating thing for 9 months before finding a person I wanted to hang out with for a while. Circumstances were a bit different, but I was blindsided, then PISSED. Put my profile back up, (way too soon, but did it anyway as I figured it'd be another 9 months of "interviewing" before I found one I wanted more than 2 dates with again), and met a really nice guy within a couple of days!? I say it was too soon because I almost killed it by not really being ready to date again. Muscled through the weirdness in my head and it's been a month with the new BF. Things are just beginning to feel normal, rather than weird with a new person. Different. Mostly "good different" . Whatever happens with your situation, you WILL get through it!

[michellemartin961 29]

I just had to post after reading this thread. I was engaged June 2014 after 3 yrs of dating. That ended Oct 2014. I had my surgery (sleeve) 5/26/15. I met my soulmate online 8/1/15. Our roadblock is he lives in New York, I in Texas. He plans on retiring here by 1/2017. We see each other every 2 months and are on the phone with each other every day for hours.

We both know it will take work to keep our love strong and we will make it through this tough time because we are what the other had searched for all our lives! We know we are meant to be together and are planning on marrying next year.

Don't throw in the towel but don't get trapped in waiting forever either. Distance does not have to be a death knell for your relationship but it will take effort on both your parts. I wish you the best and hope things work out for both of you.

Michelle