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sgc

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i did Match for one "free" week and meet a ton of guys..... My current (Tim) being one of them.

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Only thing I don't like about Match is that I have to come up with some sort of opening. At least approaching someone online would be easier online than in person.

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Well I am glad that you have found your way that works for you. I would say try having discussions with people so you get some practice.

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I still have to meet people in person though. We had some pretty serious wind which took out power to a lot of people here. I had to go into the office and she was here and couldn't work up any strength to talk to her. Back in high school, I was told I had social anxiety disorder. It seems worse now that I've lost weight. Maybe because I'm trying to push myself to be more social. When I was heavier, it was ok to just try and hide. Now I want to be more social and I get anxiety and spend hours and days analyzing meaningless interactions. I can meet someone online and it can go great until I have to meet them.

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It may seem harder because you are actively trying to be social. The hardest thing is putting yourself out there. It will get easier as you interact with people more. Just by coming out of your shell, you will get a little more comfortable.

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I wouldn't say it didn't go well, just not what I had hoped. Once the crowd dwindled down to about 6 people, it was better. These issues are more than just weight. I have had this issue ever since elementary school. Going up and starting conversations has never been a strength of mine. I didn't make many friends in school and I wasn't overweight then. I wouldn't say I excel at one on one but rather I'm better at it. Where I really excel is by texting or written communication. I'm a completely different person when I text or use instant messenger vs face to face.
I think I already moved on from this woman at work before I went. I choose online dating because my strength is in written communication. I can approach people easier by messaging them than in person.

Why dont you have a picture?



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1 hour ago, Danielle_kogan12 said:


Why dont you have a picture?


I've been waiting until I lost more weight before I took some pictures. I'm only about 30 pounds over where I want to be so this is probably a good time to take some new pictures. I wanted to create my online profile soon.

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4 hours ago, sgc said:

I've been waiting until I lost more weight before I took some pictures. I'm only about 30 pounds over where I want to be so this is probably a good time to take some new pictures. I wanted to create my online profile soon.

Look at you!! 😏Steps towards your overal happiness. I am proud.

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Since pictures were mentioned here I finally took one today. The facial hair experiment is going to end but I'm not sure the picture looks natural. I've been reading that the best results are profiles with about four pictures so I guess I have some work to do. For shits and giggles I also added a before pic. That will obviously not be included in my dating profile.

s5fztf.jpg

ckr2r.jpg

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I have another picture from before but I was a little bit heavier. Not sure if I should use it. I feel like the pictures make me look bigger. I was just at the store and I feel like I looked smaller in the mirror.

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I set up a profile on eHarmony for now. I'll see what happens there and then expand.

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Had some good matches right off the bat. Hopefully they respond. Already had one person contact me but don't seem too interested. I'm not sure if my profile is actually interesting enough to attract someone. We'll see I guess. May set up a profile on free site and see if people message me. I've heard mixed things about the free ones in my area.

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2 hours ago, sgc said:

Had some good matches right off the bat. Hopefully they respond. Already had one person contact me but don't seem too interested. I'm not sure if my profile is actually interesting enough to attract someone. We'll see I guess. May set up a profile on free site and see if people message me. I've heard mixed things about the free ones in my area.

Hey, there are many, many fish in the sea. If one does not seem to interested, you will find another.

Here is a way to spice up your profile,

"Fun and loving guy who is on a journey to not only transform my mind but my body as well. I like to do the following:

1) List all of all your outdoor activities and things you like.

Looking for a woman that would like to travel and come along this journey with me."

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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