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Waiting! nervous! afraid!......having second thoughts?



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I am waiting for my insurance co to approve me for surgery and I am getting more and more nervous as the days go by. I am not so nervous about the surgery itself, I am nervous about being approved but even more nervous about my new life. What it will be like, will I be successful or will I give in to old habits and fail. I have researched and waited on the surgery for years and now that I am down to the wire I am actually having 2nd thoughts. I know that sounds crazy and I don't know why I am. I know that having this surgery will give me my life back. Sometimes I get this "feeling" that comes over me and almost convinces me not to go through with this but I know that would mean my life is over!! I HOPE this is all normal and it's just my nerves. Is anyone else feeling or ever felt more than once that maybe they should not go thru with the surgery?

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It sounds to me like your second thoughts are completely normal! We all had them at one point or many points. It's one of the few good things about waiting... you have time to really be sure.

Research is good. Reading the experiences of others is a really good way to have realistic expectations. Just recognize that we all have different challenges at different points.

You need this. It will be better than you expect, unless you are in the unlucky 1% with complications. Even then it will be worth it.

Honor your fears, but don't let them drive your decisions.

I spent months with 2nd thoughts, but didn't stop the process of preparing. By the time I got to surgery I was so excited and thrilled that going in for surgery was practically a family reunion and party! I'm so glad I did this.

One of the saddest things is being in a support group or reading posts involving people who decided not to go through with surgery after months of preparation and are back starting again.... miserable and with regrets. On the other hand, there is no substitute for being sure it is for you. Only you can decide that.

Hang in there! You can do this!

For me it helped to write down all of the miserable things obesity brought to my life. It really helps to read back through that now and see how many things I can check off as no longer a problem... and a few reminders of why it is important to keep working at weight loss!

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I have to agree w/ some points. I've been waiting for 5 years and this is the closest I have gotten. My anxiety is through the roof as this is the closest I have gotten. I have doubt my life will change for the better, or that I will have no regrets. I think my fear comes from being denied....it might be my breaking point and then what??

I have several friends who have had this surgery and NOT one has ever regretted it! They are all 3-5 years out. You have to find the weight and balance that is best for you. I have read more than I ever have about any other subject. It has helped ease my mind, helped me choose which surgery was best for me, etc. Keep the faith, take note of all the positives that will come from it, and turn to those who are supportive of your decisions. We are all here for you!!

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@@epiphani thanks for your response. I took your advise and made a list of reasons I decided to have the surgery in the 1st place. Where that has not completely gotten rid of my fears, it did help me to realize that I don't want to allow my fears to rob me of a healthier, happier life.

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@@dancingqueene I too am very concerned that my insurance will not approve me for the surgery. I too will be devastated and I really dont know what I will do if my insurance wont cover it. This whole process has me on pins and needles but hopefully we will both be well on our way to better lives by the end of the year. Good Luck!

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@sleeveddivas605- Well...let's pray it will go through. If not...we must form a new plan together! I wish they would get Insurance clearance on things before setting our surgery dates. I feel 'sick' daily w/ anxiety over it!!

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I have to agree w/ some points. I've been waiting for 5 years and this is the closest I have gotten. My anxiety is through the roof as this is the closest I have gotten. I have doubt my life will change for the better, or that I will have no regrets. I think my fear comes from being denied....it might be my breaking point and then what??

I have several friends who have had this surgery and NOT one has ever regretted it! They are all 3-5 years out. You have to find the weight and balance that is best for you. I have read more than I ever have about any other subject. It has helped ease my mind, helped me choose which surgery was best for me, etc. Keep the faith, take note of all the positives that will come from it, and turn to those who are supportive of your decisions. We are all here for you!!

That's my biggest fear too.... Is being denied. You've come so far and completed all the requirements and then denied. That would kill me. However it wouldn't stop me. I'd appeal and continue until I'm approved.

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I am going through the same fears...esp. how life will be afterwards. But I'm afraid of how life will be if I DON'T have the surgery!

So forward I go...

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I was fine up until they gave me the surgery date. Then I was a little nervous and a lot scared. Then that long drive to the hospital, I had second thoughts. I had second thoughts until they wheeled me away. It is the unknown that is so scary. But five weeks later, any second thoughts I had were unwarranted. I am so thankful that I was given this opportunity. I have my life back again. I'm going to live and enjoy retirement in a few years.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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