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I just finished watching an episode of extreme weight loss. One thing I saw that is very familiar to me is self sabotage. I am scheduled for my surgery on 9/16 and one of my biggest fears is myself. How do I not sabotage my own success. Any advice, wisdom, or insight in this area is very much appreciated.

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How badly do you want it? That is what I ask myself. There are literally 2 choices at that minute. I can have the____ or I can have my goal. For me it is a lot of self talk, simple choices (it has gotta stay simple for me) because I can be an idiot sometimes and I can rationalize just about anything. When I am focused on my goal and keep the choices simple I get what I want.

Now that I have a the gastric sleeve my new excuse is that I have worked HARD to get to the point of having the procedure done. I can not sabotage all my hard work. I ask myself while looking at each hand, (my 2 choices) what do I want and how badly do I want it.

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I can't say how well you will do post-op. No way to tell that at all.

However, I will say this: Post-op you CANNOT go back to the same lifestyle you had pre-op and expect that you will remain slim and healthy. Yes, you may lose a lot of weight post-op. But your long-term success in maintaining your weight loss will depend on your ability to eat differently and healthier and exercise more and consistently for the rest of your life.

Whatever it takes for you to change your life and your lifestyle -- therapy, changing your relationships with family and others, a spiritual awakening, career and work changes, etc. -- you have to find a way to change. I'll also warn you that educating yourself about nutrition and exercise and committing to caring for yourself first (before others) are critical to those changes.

These changes are harder for some than others. Identifying the current barriers to your long-term success are where I'd suggest you start. We did not get to this point because we were managing our lives and our health well.

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I just finished watching an episode of extreme weight loss. One thing I saw that is very familiar to me is self sabotage. I am scheduled for my surgery on 9/16 and one of my biggest fears is myself. How do I not sabotage my own success. Any advice, wisdom, or insight in this area is very much appreciated.

Oh man, you read my mind! For me, I'm not afraid of the surgery, the pain, etc. I'm actually afraid that the surgery will go perfectly and I'll have a perfect sleeve, and STILL manage to screw it up! Self sabotage creeps into a lot of areas in my life (hmmm...wonder why I'm single). I think part of it is just denying yourself something that you would normally give in to. Head hunger is a vicious beast. So why do you think you self sabotage?

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One thing that helps me is to NEVER bring foods I could sabotage myself with in my house. There is never cake, Cookies, ice cream, chips, crackers, etc. in my home. My home is my "safe zone". That means I only need to deal with temptations when I'm out of my house.

I also will plan special occasions when I will allow myself to eat things so I don't feel deprived. Today my husband and I went out of town for a date and had some cheesecake for dessert.

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One thing that helps me is to NEVER bring foods I could sabotage myself with in my house. There is never cake, Cookies, ice cream, chips, crackers, etc. in my home. My home is my "safe zone". That means I only need to deal with temptations when I'm out of my house.

I also will plan special occasions when I will allow myself to eat things so I don't feel deprived. Today my husband and I went out of town for a date and had some cheesecake for dessert.

That's a good idea. I definitely need to go through my cupboards and clear everything bad out. And the 7-11 across the street from my house needs to not let me in any time after 7 PM, lol!

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One thing I've noticed in life after VSG is that the choices are a lot easier to make. Whatever it is you crave, you can't have much of it anyways so it's really not the death struggle with temptation so it's easier to make smart choices and if you do stray a bite to two it's not the end of the world.

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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