Am I learning to set limits? Will the lesson stay with me?

[IcanMakeit 1,318]

For my son-in-law's birthday, we had dinner tonight at one of my favorite Indian cuisine restaurants. I made sure to keep my calories very low at Breakfast and lunch because I planned to have both birthday cake and wine. When I entered the whole meal into MFP, it totaled 600 calories. But my daily total was not over my maintenance allotment. This made me feel very hopeful for my long term success. I indulged in high calorie foods at a birthday dinner, but did not do any real damage.

I enjoy eating good food with good company. I am annoyed when people say, "food is only fuel." It is not only fuel to me and I don't want it to be. Good food (and wine) is pleasurable and that should be ok. What I have to continue to learn is how to balance my needs with my desires. I acknowledge the fact that if I eat more calories than I need, I will gain weight. If I don't eat the nutrients my body needs, my health will suffer. This should not mean I have to become an ascetic. I also understand that if I did not still have a small stomach, the meal could have been more than 1200 calories. I would have been able to eat at least twice as much. So I'm not declaring victory yet. I will still have to control myself when my restriction is weaker. I don't think it's impossible. Thin people do it every day.

[jane13 2,256]

@@IcanMakeit - you are so right...

[laguerr13 993]

You are doing awesome, indulgence is part of a great reward that must never be taken for granted, I am not speaking for you out of respect, but as for me I can't do that until I am ready, it is part of what got me to this point and only when I can learn to balance the treats with the guidelines that I follow will I be able to indulge, as for right now I allow myself one cheat day for month and I am more than content to keep it that way, admittedly being a foodie and fatty, I have to look at food with the "eat to live, don't live to eat" attitude, I commend you on your self discipline, I am in disagreement that thin people do it all the time, if we were built like they are we wouldn't be on this forum, and I can't make assumptions based on what I see a thin person eating, sometimes it is an amazing metabolism, and sometimes it can be bulimia, or a disorder, sometimes wearing another person's shoes can be painful in Ways you never saw coming, I even have a safety plan for Desserts at a date with my wife, if she orders something that looks awesome, I will have a bite of hers instead of ordering my own, with the forethought that I will not do that all the time, keep going, your in the right direction but don't allow yourself to make amenities to justify why it is ok, it was my down fall, because one became two, two became three.......... And I do envy your 600 cal, lol, I'm at 350-400 per day..

Edited July 27, 2015 by laguerr13

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Everything in due time.

When you're still losing weight, it's not time for a lot of indulgence. Or at least it wasn't for me.

For the formerly obese, learning to "indulge safely" without falling off a cliff is a big, big lesson. However, we manage that trick (and it will vary person to person) is a good thing.

But I'm with the OP. I'm very much up for learning how to indulge safely and enjoy the pleasures that some foods can bring, but without focusing on that pleasure more than the nutritional aspects of food.

What an interesting trip this is. The longer I'm in maintenance, the more respect I have for all the vets who've made this work for them -- in many different ways.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

I liked my surgeon s rule " follow the rules 95% of the time and you'll be successful !" I liked the fact that I have a little wiggle room for treats, but its up to me how much, and when I indulge too much , obviously the scale lets me know about it. To be honest, my weight loss stopped at 160ish for well over a year, and I thought that was it. No more weight loss. Then I started on Adderal for adult ADD in early April. I have lost about 22 lbs since then because of the side effect of decreasing the appetite, but for some reason it also (combined with my Trazadone for insomnia) lets me sleep 6-8 hrs nightly. Im not exhausted all the time (heavenly sleep !) I m doing 1-3 hrs of yardwork 2-3x a week, swim 2x, Pilates 2-3x a week. Without the lapband and the Adderal, I know theres no way I could keep my appetite down ! So I dont know how thin people do it "naturally," because otherwise I would be heavy and hungry all the time. Opinions ? Thoughts ?

[laguerr13 993]

It's a very touchy issue Dahlia, we see thin people and wonder "how?", thin people see us and wonder "why?", initially I gained my freedom through looking at how I started and it wasn't pleasant, did some crying and grieving, then I looked at how to relearn and change my habits, it was like newborn learning to walk again, the foods I ate, the amounts, and the times, etc...... As I go into almost 2 months out I am just beginning to see the "how?", and I already know the "why?" Now I concentrate on the day by day thing, I don't worry about tomorrow or next year or 10 years down the line, I will keep doing things like I have learned and always remember what got me here, the motivation for me is that I have improved my heart, stamina, health, and my happiness

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@IcanMakeit

Loved your post and especially your approach! You have done very well. I am currently 31lbs from goal and have been very worried about the maintenance phase.

My nut is in the frame of mind that you follow the plan 95 percent of the time. She believes that abstaining from the foods that you crave will actually result in bigger issues down the road. For me, I work on leveraging the plan every single day and indulging in a treat when I need to. The good thing is, I don't need to as a rule. Birthdays, holidays or special events I might try a few bites of something sweet. Usually realizing that it doesn't even taste good to me.

Keep up the great work!