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Deciding to keep my sleeve quiet....



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I told everyone and still continue to do so. I am excited about the changes and I too feel beyond blessed at the support I have received. For the couple that don't, I just ignore them. The thought of keeping this secret after hiding in silence about my food addiction all these years was just too much.

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I think I'll feel less pressure having kept it a secret. I don't need people thinking that I should've lost more by now or that I've lost too much. For me, It takes all of the pressure of having an audience away from the experience. It also takes away the pressure of having everyone compare your experience to their own or that of someone they know.

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I only told my immediate family. I don't want to deal with or hear anyone's opinions either even if they are well intended. This is my journey, I'm not ashamed, I'm proud of myself! Day 5!

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When I first got my band I only told very few people. As time went on I told more. Now I don't care who knows about it, but it took time for me to build that confidence.

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That's how I plan to keep mines except for a selected few my son's dad and 2 cousins and they will not spill the Beans lol. I heard so many opinions when I wanted to have the lapban a few years ago I was drowning lol. So not this time.

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DIDN'T TELL ANYONE EXCEPT FIANCEE WHO TOOK CARE OF ME, AS OF RIGHT NOW I WILL PROBABLY NEVER TELL ANOTHER LIVING SOUL. MUCH SIMPLER THAT WAY.

how are you responding to questions about your weight loss?
Portion Control AND LOW CARB, ONLY WHEN THEY ASK WHAT I'M DOING. WHEN THEY COMPLIMENT MY WEIGHT LOSS I SAY THANK YOU AND QUICKLY CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

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I think I'll feel less pressure having kept it a secret. I don't need people thinking that I should've lost more by now or that I've lost too much. For me, It takes all of the pressure of having an audience away from the experience. It also takes away the pressure of having everyone compare your experience to their own or that of someone they know.

I guess it depends on your personality and temperament. I love the pressure and relish it. Bring on the negative comments and calling me fat, or whatever. I use that to fuel me on days where I want to stop or be lazy. Use it to prove the doubters and the uneducated ones that their negativity and BS won't stop me.

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So I have made the decision to have the gastric sleeve surgery. I also have decided to be very selective on who I share my journey with. A couple of reasons why I decided to keep my sleeve somewhat secret is mainly because I don't want to deal with other peoples opinions on what I have decided to do with my life during the most emotional time in my life. Some people think that losing weight is as easy as just pushing away from the table and have no idea what it means it means to live a life being overweight and unhappy. I'm not saying that I will never tell anyone what I have done to lose such a massive amount of weight in a short period of time. I am just saying that I want to decide when I want to tell people or share my story when I feel that I am emotionally ready and strong enough to do so. People will judge you no matter what you decide to do in your life. That is a true statement. I just choose to have more control over the negativity that I may be subjected to because of people's lack of understanding. I am not ashamed of my decision and I am only doing this because I feel is best for me and my future. I am already a sensitive person by nature and I feel that after surgery, knowing that my hormones will be all over the place, is a time I want to deal with me and my feelings and whatever buyers remorse I may be feeling at that moment without others people input. I may get to a point to where I do want to share my story and perhaps help someone else, but at this point my focus is on making sure that I am healthy physically and mentally. Please share your thoughts with me.

My husband and I had our operations the same day and we have told no one except my sister ( best friend ) and my 29yr son and that was just in case anything happened to us. We also don't plan on telling anyone going forward and it has been 2 yrs in October. I wouldn't tell anyone about any other medical procedure so I don't even look at it as an issue of should we or shouldn't we.

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I have decided early on in this process, I am not ashamed of my decision. I am 6days out and my family and close friends are aware of my decision. Now for the "others" who will probe and ask questions, I don't know how I will respond, but I believe the truth will set me free!

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At first I didn't want anyone but immediate family to know, but one benefit of needing to wait so long to get it done (I've been waiting since last October) is that I have actually gained the confidence to tell people. I am proud of my decision so I don't care what other people think about it. That being said I have told quite a few people and have not come across a negative opinion, everyone seems to be genuinely supportive, I have told co-workers, friends and acquaintances. Don't rule out telling people, they may surprise you and the support they will give you helps.

Edited by NaomiAus

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By the time I decided to have the sleeve, I told my loved one and answered their questions and listened to their concerns. For me it was important to have them on my side. After that no one else matters. I am very open, so the day before the surgery I sent an email to all my friends and coworkers telling them about the surgery. I stay away from negative people. I respect their opinion but I don't care about it.

Sharing your decision is very personal. You need to do what feels right for you. Surround yourself with people that love you and respect you. And stay away from toxic people.

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I told 3 people going in (two who helped take care of me, and one person who lives 3000 miles away). I told a few trusted friends a week later, and as far as anyone else, they can wait until I am ready, if I am ever ready at all. I refuse to have negative, toxic people during what is supposed to be the most transformative period of my life.

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I told everyone via Facebook. I did it because my mom did medical weight loss a number of years ago and when she lost quickly ppl started rumors she had cancer and or HIV. Didn't want that stupid crap said about me. I also told ppl to keep silent if they can't support me. Everyone was really supportive but I get why you want to control it. If it weren't for my mom's experience and my history of cancer I would have stayed quiet.

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I feel it is up to the person if or if not you tell. I feel it is quite honest to say you were having gastric issues and had a procedure to fix it. Then move on or change the subject. I have had stomach issues in the past and when people tried to get me to eat things I didn't want I blamed it on my doctor and my ulcers. This way if the cooked something special for me they do not feel I'm rejecting them or it. I have my surgery in August some people I will tell or have been tod and the rest it will be the above. I wouldn't tell everyone about my period or women's issues so why would I tell everyone about this private body change. Your life. Your decision. Don't feel guilty!

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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