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My family revolves around food. We cook it, read about it, and talk about it. I was sleeved June 3, 2015. The hardest part so far is being left out. My family doesn't know what to talk about when I'm around. They fix the most beautiful meals. I have to go in the other room while they eat and laugh and talk. They feel awkward, and I feel sad. I don't know how to interact with them and I hate feeling left out.

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I was in the same situation. Weeks three and four after my surgery were the worst. They would all be pigging out on dinner and I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs!! It gets better. I'm exactly three months out today and they can sit and eat a huge meal in front of me and it doesn't bother me at all. I just thank God I can't eat like that anymore and think of how much better I feel now that I've lost weight.

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I think it will probably take awhile before everyone figures out their place in your new life, including you.

When you think about it your decision has greatly affected your family dynamic in ways that neither of you could have ever adequately prepared for. I think we're all in for a bit of a shock to discover how much our daily interactions with other people revolve around food.

Give yourself a little more time to adapt and adjust. Once you feel comfortable within your own new world, better in control, it will be easier to acclimate those around you as well.

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@@need change - start cooking it, reading about it and talking about your new foods and recipes and share with your family. You may find out that they like some of the new stuff or may want to change out some of the less healthy foods for some of your ideas, recipes, etc. Don't sit off in a room and feel left out or sad. Make something you can eat and share. This is your path, own it.

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I love to try new recipes. I enjoy food more now then I ever did before surgery. My husband has lost more weight since I had surgery then ever before in our marriage and my kids love when I cook stuff I can eat. A lot of the reason I had surgery at 31 was so I could help change the habits of my children and shape a generation of my family to make better choices. My family is heavy and has always been that way. I struggled with my weight in elementary school, and all the way through college. I want to teach my children early on to make better choices. If I were to sit in a room and feel sorry for myself because I can't eat, then it defeats the purpose of having the surgery at all. I was sleeved on 6/5/15 and I have lost 25 lbs and am looking forward to more, but I really enjoy reading the labels on food and getting to create something that's healthy and satisfying not just for me but for my family as well. My husband has lost almost 20 lbs and didn't have surgery.

Edited by Heather Birdwell

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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