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Epic NSV - even all these years out it was boost



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Some of you know me well as I have been around a long time... but for back story I was pretty hopeless about losing weight and especially maintaining it when I began this sleeve journey. I had "failed" with the lapband in an epic way and by the time I revised to the sleeve I was well over 300# (although down from my lifetime recorded high of 332# while banded). I was super morbidly obese and spent a lot of years there. I felt aged beyond my years and besides feeling physically miserable, I was certainly NOT an object of attention from the opposite gender. Hell, i never even had a chubby chaser interested in me.
(I did have a serious relationship, I have never been a loner, but my point is I have always been one to focus on intelligence and personality, not looks or body)

Because of my active lifestyle, I have mostly had slender friends even when I was obese. I never went out for girls night with them, never went dancing, I felt like I didn't belong in those settings. So, after losing a bunch of weight, I had plastics and am now maintaining. I social with lots of people now and feel like i fit in many places, but am still sometimes surprised at my own preconceived notions.

Currently, I am about 5# over my goal and about 25# over my lowest weight - I am 3.5 years post sleeve so this is frankly pretty typical. It can get a little discouraging as I am having a heck of a time re-losing this weight. I am fine at my current size, but i was finer thinner haha... so it is still something I want. You know how your state of mind is when your favorite jeans are too tight.... that is where i am!

Okay, now my NSV Story!

I went out to the racetrack on the 3rd for a big girls day of races and fireworks. I went with 3 very attractive ladies who are all naturally very trim. They range from tiny cute as a pixie (Which also makes her look really young) to that tall blond skinny model look (two of those, one fairly boyish looking the other more curvy - both very very attractive). Anyway, all 4 of us are unloading the cooler, doing stuff getting ready to go in. I was applying sunscreen. this really really really attractive man - probably about 40 (we are all about 50) walks by and looks right at me and smiles and says "need any help with that?". All of us freeze as it processes... he is talking to ME! What? I smiled at him as he walked away (it was only later I thought I should have said "YES") and one of the ladies said "this is going to be a good day".

I don't spend alot of time comparing myself to others, I really don't. But after a lifetime of obesity, super morbid obesity - you never expect to be the one in your group of attractive friends to get the notice.

Looks don't actually matter that much - one of the ironies i have learned in this journey, but it still felt good and my friends were all very happy for me too... That also makes me feel good that they are so pleased with my successes.

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@@CowgirlJane

No harm in enjoying the attraction from men. It's always a boost to the ego.

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I love that story. You still got it!

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Thanks for sharing your story. It is nice to be noticed after all that hard work. Keep up the hard work.

~LA

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My husband is the one that gets noticed all the time. He is very good looking and nice body build 6 ft tall. Now, I can't wait to have that moment Cowgirl Jane had. I am not jealous of him at all but it's always the girls that I don't trust. We are 50 years old and I do feel blessed to have him not for his looks but great funny personality. Sometimes I wonder why he likes me......

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Btw, congrats on your awesome moment!

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Great story! It's NSV's like that that really remind us not to focus so intently on the scale. Congrats!

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What a boost! I bet that felt good :)

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It did. More than "attention " it was a reminder that even though I am a few pounds over goal I have still achieved my primary goal of being a normal woman. After a lifetime of being fairly invisible it is still an amazing thing to me.

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I love to hear stories like this because I can't wait to experience this myself. My main reason for surgery was my health, but also that I'm ready to be noticed by the opposite sex again. I'm 36 yrs. old and sick of being alone. I'm always ignored like I'm not even there and I then got so used to it that I always expect it now. So congrats and thanks for sharing.

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Love your story, @@CowgirlJane ... the guy's attention and your girlfriends' joy for you.

Just a perfect moment. :)

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@@CowgirlJane

Love your stories and posts.

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I am so happy for your NSV! The "invisible issue" always made me so angry when I was back at my highest weights. I've been married to a great guy who luckily loves the real me and has been my biggest support, but I found that many, many people of both genders looked "through" me like I wasn't there, like I was an affront to their skinny world. And now, 94 pounds lighter, while I'm still a big woman I find all kinds of people "seeing" me again. It's a little bewildering but ultimately gratifying to feel present in the world again. I'm happy for you @@CowgirlJane and for all of us who have stepped back into the light as part of our tough journey.

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So awesome that these moments are still happening for us several years out! Every so often I have one of my own where I'm reminded that I'm not "invisible" anymore. OWN your "hotness"!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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