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Ladies Only: Decreased sex drive?



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Hi- I'm experiencing a much lower sex drive than I had before surgery. I kind of expected it to be the opposite. In general I feel so much better physically and self-esteem wise, but I'm kind of just going through the motions when it comes to sex. Not only am i not as active, but I'm also resorting to lube much more frequently. I'm 6 months out and 29 years old. Did anyone else have this? I don't know if it's a hormonal thing or a calories/energy thing, or if it is in any way related to the wls, but I've only noticed it since surgery. Any insight appreciated.

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I think this is a good question for your doctor. Maybe the change in hormone levels that comes with weight loss is responsible for your decreased libido, or it could be that your decrease in calories has depressed your energy. In any case, my guess is that this change is probably temporary and will work itself out.

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Yes I have that, I think it's a hormonal thing. In my case -it's also a depression issue too. I realized being thinner wasn't going to solve the majority of my problems....

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I'm almost 8 months out and 29 years old as well. Mine has decreased some and I'm most definitely in need of lube but I think this is a shift in hormones because I've also been ovulating twice as often WITH Mirena IUD in place. I'm going to see my Gyno soon so I'll ask her then.

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At the opposite end of the spectrum, I am 63 and way past menopause. I am lighter, more flexible, and more responsive than ever. Mother Nature is cooperating quite nicely, and although lube is on stand-by, it is rarely needed to help.

I will give the reduction in Lyrica and increase in Wellbutrin part of the credit. I had no idea that sex would be so much better in my 60s than it was in my 20s. Who knew? Not to mention that my hubby-man is more than happy to oblige.

I would agree with the others that this is something to open up to your doctor about. Your loss of libido does not have to be permanent. May you have very much happy nookie going forward. ;)

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Miss Mac I noticed you mentioned an increase in your Wellbutrin. When I went to the doctor last time he changed me from Wellbitrin to a newer generation drug called Fetzima. It has really worked well for me. The Wellbutrin had got to where I felt that I needed to add something else with it so he wanted me to try this drug. I am really glad I tried it. I feel so much better now.

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I am one month out from surgery, and maybe it's the remission of my diabetes, or that I'm almost 50lbs down, but my drive has greatly increased. Much to my dismay, because I am single right now. Wishing like heck I wasn't! hehe

That's good exercise too! Right? lol

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lexiemia........prior to my surgery, my primary doctor had me on Sertraline, for post-stroke anxiety and depression. The bariatric physician changed me over to Wellbutrin right away, and then post-op she doubled it. I have never heard of Fetzima. I will check it out.

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How long did you ladies wait after surgery before you had sex again? I'm afraid of breaking my incisions open lol.

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A couple of weeks - proceed with caution.

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I hope my sex drive doesn't drop after my WLS!!! Since I had kids it is usually about zero. I hardly ever feel in the mood. Unfortunately my husband has a very high drive and would be at it every day if he could ???? The bad thing is that he is always pissed off at me and frustrated, but I can't help it. Maybe I should have been a nun instead ????

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Yes I have that, I think it's a hormonal thing. In my case -it's also a depression issue too. I realized being thinner wasn't going to solve the majority of my problems....

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I'm like @@Miss Mac. I am 60 and had literally no libido due to low self esteem and all the physical blocks to enjoying sex when I was much heavier. Now, my new fitness, better self-esteem and self-image, are making me want to have sex much more often! Hubby is ecstatic! Downside: an old issue from my younger years has reared it's ugly head. Constantly have to fight off UTIs.

Anyway, I do think hormones have a lot to do with it. You know, fat cells have a lot to do with how much estrogen is in our bodies because they produce it (or so I think I read). Maybe losing fat affects the level of that hormone and can lead to libido issues? Dunno but it's worth a question to your doc.

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My surgery is in less than a week and one of the big things I've been looking forward to is a higher libido. My libido is directly tied in with how attractive I feel. So I'm really hoping this won't be an issue for me.

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I'm almost 8 months out and 29 years old as well. Mine has decreased some and I'm most definitely in need of lube but I think this is a shift in hormones because I've also been ovulating twice as often WITH Mirena IUD in place. I'm going to see my Gyno soon so I'll ask her then.

Try coconut oil for lube. ????

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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